No Problem

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

So had this guy call wanting assistance with installation of our anti-spyware software... he seemed nice - at first. For whatever reason midway through making his support ticket he decided to lecture me on the difference between saying "no problem" as opposed to "you're welcome" and started telling me how rude he thinks it is when someone says "no problem"... yet I have said neither to him. "Of course it's not a problem, it's your job, so don't tell me no problem - I wanna hear you're welcome...I'm probably not much older than you but I still have manners, so age isn't an excuse. " So I was like "um...  did I say no problem to you?" I didn't think I did, but I talk to a lot of people - so maybe I did? And he's like "no, I'm just telling you what I expect when I do business with someone." *mute button time*

Then he asked me to read back his email address and then asked me if I knew why he asked me to do so... and I was like "um... yeah". So he's like "even if a person's last name is Smith, I verify the spelling because you never know if they put an "e" at the end or not..." and proceeds to give me more examples of people's names that can have different spellings.

Thanks, asshole, I know how to do my job. I wish I knew where he worked so I could show up and pester him.  Rawr!

All is right again.

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

While that other jackass had my blood boiling - I just got a call that balanced it all out.

Luser:  Yeah, I just bought your shitty software. Paid $50 for it 'cause a friend recommended to remove this spyware and it doesn't remove it! Now I am very pissed off! This piece of shit doesn't work!
Me: Hmmm... well which one of our products are you using because our software is $19.95...
Luser: Oh, so you guys ripped me off, too! I'm using MalwareWipe.
Me: *smirks* Ah, that's not our product.
Luser: What? Yes, it is.
Me: No, actually, it isn't. We're _______ and we make _______.
Luser: Son of a bitch! Who makes it, then?!
Me: I don't know - I'll Google it.... oh, here's their website.... *tries not to laugh as she reads the search results*