w00t!

[thalionar.livejournal.com]

Wow... for once I have *good* news!

The account that I've been supporting for the last 5 years is going away, along with all the stoopid lusers it contains!

This does not mean that I lose my job, oh, no... I will now be supporting a *different* set of users. So far, most of the people I've talked to have been coherent, relatively intelligent and follow directions! (the kicker? the old account was for an insurance company. The new account is a grocery store. Yes, I am now talking mostly to people without college education and the calls are going *better*)

I'm also now doing "helpdesk" interface for a couple of server farms (I don't know what to call it without you figuring out where I work). This means I'll be dealing with a different class of know-it-alls. I can't *wait* to see if there are good stories here.

Oh, and to top it all off? I'm going to be working from home come March!

Network OS

[eddiddiums.livejournal.com]

I have been reading this forum for a while and I decided to share with you one of my favorite stories from my days at the help desk:

I was working a weekend shift, just me and one other guy playing video games, watching TV, and generally being bored. The phone rings, my coworker jumps for the phone, I check him out of the way and answer it myself eager to do something that may require thought. I was, of course, disappointed. The caller states that her computer is frozen, and my brain immediately switches back to auto pilot..

“What I would like you to do is hold the power button on the front of your tower for ten seconds until it turns off.”

“Umm, I don’t have a tower.”

“Sure you do, it might be under the desk, but it has to be close by since the video cable isn’t very long.”

At this point I hoped she would say something like, “Oh! There it is. I’m a fucking moron” I would of course agree with her, wish her a good day, and go back to watching Mad Max

But no, if that had happened, I wouldn’t be telling you this story. Would I?

She once again insists that she has no tower, she even asks her co-worker to confirm. Her co-worker is obviously just as dumb as her and agrees that there is indeed no tower.

Now here is the kicker, she actually told me that we are on a “network system” (yes the quotes are necessary) She than proceeded to ask me how long I worked with the organization. I told her a year, than I told her she would have to wait until Monday for her computer to be fixed because the desktop teams did not work weekends.

Stupid bitch.

Keyboard/Seat failure

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

User on laptop, away from office:

"Outlook's not coming up, when I'm not connected to the internet."

After several attempts to have user try various Menu items, I figured
out she's in IE and using webmail. Had her fire up Outlook and she was
amazed that it had the same messages and they stayed there when not
connected.

D'oh!

So glad I make 4-5 times less than these people. It's obvious the big bucks causes brain damage.

(no subject)

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Note: The clients who I support are representatives from the pharmaceuticals industry. Their job is to get doctors to prescribe their drugs rather than their competitor's, and to give the doctors free samples which the doctors can then give to patients when writing prescriptions. There is, as might be imagined, a lot of big-time federal controlled-substance compliance crap that goes along with this job.

Rep: "Hey. I think I made a sampling error today. I put down on my PDA that I left 3 samples for a doctor, but I don't think I left any. How can I make sure?"

Me: "Well, you could call the doctor and ask him."

Rep: "Oh, he just throws the samples in a closet, he wouldn't know."

Me: "Well, the call you created on your PDA is the official record. If that's wrong and you can't remember, then I guess you have no way to be sure."

If she doesn't remember how many samples she handed him... and the doctor doesn't know how many samples she handed him... and she fucked up her legal record of the transaction... then how the hell does she expect anyone else to know how many samples she handed him?