Manifesto for corporate support IT helpdesks

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

After spending far too many years supporting large organisations, I have compiled a list of rules which seem obvious, but which managers and other staff have to be constantly reminded of in one form or another. Here's the distilled crack:

OTHER TEAMS
1) We are not here to do the work of local office management, administrators, trainers, local technical staff or other IT teams. They have staffing budgets for a reason.
2) We are not a call logging or secretarial division for other teams.
3) We are not a dumpster for other teams to throw unknown jobs into. ESPECIALLY when those jobs are the responsibility of the team in question.
4) Corollary: We are not a switchboard.

5) We are not here to provide ongoing workarounds for other teams’ incorrectly or inefficiently coded or configured hardware, software or procedures while said teams sit around on their butts for YEARS doing nothing about the problem.

OTHER STAFF
1) We are not responsible for training staff, either in basic computer skills or how to do their jobs.
2) We are not here to take up the slack for lack of correct staff training.

SCOPE
1) We will not provide more than basic troubleshooting for equipment or services we do not have access to ourselves or have never heard of.
2) Just because a piece of equipment is beige or uses electricity, this does NOT mean that it is on our list of supported hardware.

MANAGING OURSELVES
1) We are not in the business of employing staff purely to cover inefficiencies, whether our own, other teams’, or those of management. I don't care if some manager wants to empire-build.
2) Analysts are not to be expected to jump through inefficient extra hoops at the whim of upper management, especially when there is no good technical reason for it.

FUNCTION
1) We are not a ‘friendly face’ for IT, or any other form of managerial fluffiness. We are a technical troubleshooting and repair division, not your secretaries or assistants.

(no subject)

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Me: So, to sum up, Ms Corporate Staff Member, about a month ago you had some kind of [Type X] problem you can't remember, whereapon you contacted someone you can't remember in a team you can't remember, who told you to go to a webpage you can't remember and fill in some details you can't remember, which theoretically would then be sent to another IT team you can't remember, and you want to know what's being done about it?

Her: ...

Me: Would it suprise you to learn that you have called the wrong number?

Does this bug anyone else?

[aylinn.livejournal.com]

semi-cross posted from my LJ...

(excerpt from Apple's blurb site about the new mac laptops)
MagSafe Connector
Mobile users will love the new power adapter featuring the MagSafe Connector — a magnetic DC plug that both ensures a tight connection and enables a clean break from the power port when there is undue tension. It prevents the MacBook Pro from being pulled off of a desk when the cord is accidentally tripped over, and it protects the power cord from wear and tear

Raise your hand if that blurb causes a flashback? or violent twitches & fidgets?

Maybe it's a measure of my having been in tech support WAY too long but all I (and some of my friends) can think of is:

Magnets...especially Electromagnets...Near Media...BAAAAADDDDD

Now it may not be as much of a concern in this day & age of flash drives & CDs & DVDs which are theoretically more magnetically stable. But I'm just waiting for the first time somebody sets one of these near a crucial set of backup tapes...

*twinge*

The mind BOGGLES.

[no-smorking.livejournal.com]

Long time lurker, first time poster. I work in a corporate IT department for a large non-profit org. The EVP of my department has a particularly obnoxious assistant. She constantly violates guidelines and policies, but she's untouchable - even a group of the IT managers have complained about her, to no avail.

Today marks the most bizarre thing I can remember her ever doing.

Apparently at some point yesterday she called the helpdesk and inquired about ordering some additional equipment - a USB drive, an extra battery, etc. As is our (not new) policy, we request some additional information, like - what's the model laptop you want to use this for? what's the budget number? All stuff she's had to give us plenty of times. The helpdesk agent (we'll call him J) keeps the ticket open in his own queue pending the additional information.

This evening I get home and check my email. Oh, joy! I'm the lucky recipient of an email from the EVP's assistant! Except, I open it, and I'm *not* the recipient. It's addressed to J. I've apparently been BCCd for some unfathomable reason. Oookay, not the first weird thing she's done, but it's not my problem.

I'm doing a little bit of work when I happen to come across this open ticket in J's queue. I peek at it since I'm there, and I see that ANOTHER agent (M) has pasted the mystery email in the activities.

Evidently, this woman has sent J an email and BCC'd my ENTIRE GROUP.

Who *does* this??? I can only imagine the fun and games when everyone else gets in tomorrow morning and has no idea why they have this email addressed to J.

Meteorology as a career is looking better and better.