Satellite Man

[lovemonster.livejournal.com]

He's back... Something's "not working"

And to top it off, the queue phone is ringing and my co-workers aren't in yet.

Is it the weekend yet? *sighs* lord save me...

I swear...

[jecook]

I have some of the denses users on the face of the planet. Their cranial density is grater then that of a nutron star, and approach a back hole from which clues get sucked into, and never return.

( Some examples )

Have to be brief; we are getting pounded today

[toxico.livejournal.com]

So when we don't know the answer to a question offhand, we can search previous cases. I ran across the following solution, regarding a case involving mail not releasing from quarantine:

blocked allow blocked cointent, sure you weant to do it., send and
nothingt ahpepensl, , sned biox disaopoears noithing comes through has
tried from various none work whatsoever. no downlaod forward no...
subject line retailn profantiy

...the fuck? Anyone remember George? I think he worked here...

tech-Support looooooooser!!!

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

I cant believe it... I JUST CANT BELIEVE IT!!
How stupid can an TECH-SUPPORT MEMBER BE ???? one of my CO-WORKER!!! please management. KICK HIS ASS!!!

------
Problem: Server -> No Post No Video
Troubleshoot: Power-Supplies have an GREEN LED. so they are ONLINE and OK
Solution: Swap Motherboard and Power-Distribution Board
Root Cause: Monitor was OFF
-------

MAAAAAAN!!!! Cant you hear the fans turning ? cant you see that all LEDS go on ? cant you see that the harddrives are checked ?
No wonder why such customers say that the Support is BAD
can that be true that there are 'TECHS' who are THAT stupid ???

Kill them? But who would I walk on?

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

I never realized my job would let me encounter and try to bolster the weaklings that are many ordinary techs. You know, the ones who last only 3 months and get pulled out on gurneys. My god, how pathetic. I've acted like that, I remember acting like that about some things, and now I know why I was such a moody little shit back in the day (as opposed to the well-adjusted immense pile of fecal matter who posts before you). But rather than steal the contents of the wallets of these little wind-blown reeds of indecisive wheat, whose every move is begging for a quick and violent harvest, I help them. I manage to pick them up, dust them off, strap on an Acme Port-a-pair, and send them back in to deal badly with their intellectual betters (and saying that about the customers is the worst insult I can give the tech). I can be a dick by proxy, using the techs as my soft, fluffy protective sock over the end of the cudgel of uncaring truth and fact. I can no longer directly hear the customers scream in anguish (usually), but I get to hear the tech squeal when I hit them. Occasionally one doesn't squeal, but rings like a chime, and I know who to keep an eye on for promotion.

I feel like 1/10th R. Lee Ermy (the drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket), and not even the hat bit. I'd totally be the hat if they let me verbally hand these techs their little bundle of emotions, worries, and whines back to them on a bloody pike like I know I CAN. Nope, I'm probably the sock.

But I'm moving up. A few more months, maybe a year of this, and then I want to shoot for supervisor, or something more. I don't care. As long as it's UP. Maybe someday I can be the hat.

All hail the hat.