need to fix it NOW! not in 10 minutes. NOW!!!

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

Customer: Our Tapedrive failed! we cant backup! you need to replace it!
me: "ok, explain me the problem. what exactly doesnt work ?"
customer: "no time for you stupid troubleshooting! its broken, ok ? you need to fix it! we have an 4h support warranty so you come here and fix it NOW!"
me: "iam afraid i cant do that. i first need to check WHAT the exactly problem is or otherwise we might swap the tapedrive and the problem persists eventually.
customer: "i can live with that. the chance that it is fixed afterwards is even bigger. so come here and swap the tapedrive!"
me: "ok, i can do so. but if that WONT fix the problem, we'd have to charge you the costs for the call."
customer: "oh... and... that would be how much ?"
me: "lets see. an LTO3 drive, and the tech, about... 4000 euro" (about 4500 US-Dollar)
customer: "WHAT ????? no! NO ! NOOOO! we have an support warranty!! you have to swap it for free!"
me: "yes. when WE find out whats wrong. so if you do the troubleshoot as i ask you to do, we will swap it and if it wont fix the problem then, you wont have to pay for it. but you WOULD have to pay for it if YOUR diagnostic is wrong."
customer: "OK, as long as we get the new tapedrive TODAY its ok. what do you need ?"
me: "first i need the backup-job log of the failed backup and the log of the last working backup."
customer: "ok, i can send you the logs of the failed job. but iam afraid i cant give you the logs of the last working"
me: "oh ? why that ?"
customer: "the last working backup was two months ago. since then we have that problem"

me: ....... *tilt* . o O (why, in gods name, do they always make stress about problems they have since TWO MONTHS!!!! wihtout even calling in ONE fucking time ???)

after 3 days of troubleshoot we found out, the firmware was out of date. his veritas-database was corrupt (reinstall veritas), some of his tapes are defect (wrong stocking) and he didnt have an terminator on the tapedrive.

Duh...uh...

[docskurlock.livejournal.com]

So I'm sitting here at work, talking to the VP, Owner and Treasurer of the company and the VP looks at me says, "just what do we pay you for?"

Thing is, we were eating breakfast, and I had a mcdonald's breakfast sandwich in my mouth at the time. I just about lost it. You guys ever get any stupid questions like that?

Call tracking?

[dhutch.livejournal.com]

Just wondering - what do some of you out there use to track support calls? I'm looking for recommendations.

Edit: Helps when you think before you post- can't help it - I'm sick beyond belief. Anyway - I need something that runs under Windows, to track in-house support calls. Follow up flags, reporting on machine/user/problem type.

(no subject)

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh, tea addiction, how I missed thee.
Now that I've been OFFICIALLY promoted (Go me) to my level 2, (Level 3, das ubertech, Bene Gesserit Wizard, Mentor, etc), I can talk to people who are somewhat, occasionally, sorta, almost more gung ho than the customers. So I'm back to drinking a ton of heavily sugared iced tea in levels that makes my bladder scream for mercy.

Makes me hell on chatty techs, though.

Comon techs pop. Pop pop pop. I know they're dragging you out about 1 per month on gurneys, and I hope to add to that, you know why?! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I WANT MY LESSER COWORKERS TO FEEL PAIN!!??
( 'YES WE DO, PACO! TELL US WHY THE WEAK MUST DIE!!' )

Wonder if I have the male version of PMS

[archatos.livejournal.com]

( The first call I had today )

( And a case log )

I am extremely glad I go on vacation next week.

X-posted to Callcenter and Callcenter Hell