Down The Road, Not Across The Street

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

Me: "Just enter your initials where it says 'initials.' "
Moron: "My initials?"
Me: "Yes."
Moron: "In what part of the window?"
Me: "Where it says 'initials'. "
Moron: "Just my initials?"
Me: "Yes."
Moron: "What are my initials?"

*facepalm-headdesk*

VPFM.... Virtual Private Farm of Morons

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Call log:

Client states he is having trouble with his "VPFM" login. 
Client states there is a problem.
Asked client what the problem is, and he states that it does not work.
Asked client in what way it does not work and he states that he cannot get a connection.
Asked client what he is trying to connect to, VPN, dialup, etc., and client states that he is currently shutting down his computer.
Client asked if it made a difference if he used the toll-free or local number when connecting to VPFM.
Advised it does not matter what number he uses for VPN.
Client wanted to know if, after the reboot, he should check to see if he is connected to the Internet.
Client now states that he is using a wireless Intranet connection.  Advised client that in that case he does not need to use dialup and in fact may not even need to use VPN.
Client cannot get wireless connection to work.  Advised client that without a connection to the Internet, we cannot make his VPN connection work.
Client needs assistance troubleshooting wireless connection.  Transferring to network/Intranet queue.

Follow-Up To My Last Post...

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

So Mister "What-Are-My-Initials" calls back, and cannot connect to the network via remote login.

Being the hot-shit analyst that I am, with a memory for these types of (l)users, I solved the case quickly and efficiently.

What follows is an exact c&p of my entire worklog:

Cannot log in to network.
User misspelling his name.
User able to log in with correct spelling.
Closing case.

Ugh! I thought I knew what I was doing.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

I recently went to add a second segment to my network. basicly this is how it works right now -

Satellite bidirectional modem (land connections are better but that's a different post) with built in NAT and DHCP (oh how I wish I could turn off both of them and let one of my other routers do that stuff).

Connected to the satellite modem is a DLink 802.11g router (I forgot the model and I'm at work). Router is set to IP address of 192.168.0.10 (modem is set to 192.168.0.1), has dhcp turned off and the sat modem is plugged into port 1 instead of WAN because we aren't interested in the NAT abilities of the router, we just want the wireless bridge and switching abilities for the wired section of the network. All that works fine.both wired and wireless clients can get dhcp addresses and connect to the internet.

Now comes the part I thought I knew what I was doing and I'm not... We recently picked up a USR 802.11g (model 8054) router. The idea is that our network upstairs (which isn't connected to anything) will use the USR to connect to the network downstairs wirelessly (running cables just isn't a viable option). Except I can't get the USR to talk wirelessly to the DLINK.

The USR IP address is set to 192.168.0.254, and I've tried the following things - setting the channels to same number, setting the channels to different numbers, setting the SSIDs to the same name and setting the SSIDs to different names. Regardless the USR doesn't do anything except sometimes interfere with the working segment depending on configuration. I guess I need to do more reading.

Fellow tech requesting advice...

[jecook]

Has anyone here ever had to deal with Sharp All in one devices? Specifically, the AM-900, or any of their home office copiers?

I'm normally an HP man, but I'm open to looking at other products.

My work is looking to put laser based all in one deivces at some of our sites that have been chewing up the inkjet based models, and as I've only used one (the laserjet 3100, which is ancient) I have no idea what to tell them.

Thoughts, comments, opiinions? (besides the obligatory "Read the effin User info!" comment. I'm asking for opinions from my fellow co-horts)

You know it's time to leave when...

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

- when all your co-workers sound like Homestar.
- when unpaid overtime is mandatory.
- when every tool you're given runs slower than Stephen Hawking.
- when the techno-illiterate boss tries to tell you how to do your job.
- when you have to lie more than six times per day.
- when techies are regularly hired based on anything except their technical ability
- when your manager listens less to you than to some interfering old BAT!

:shaking head:: tech still doesn't understand this concept

[prozacnation.livejournal.com]

Customer cannot connect or so she claims.

Customer, hooks up Dialup connection.

Customer initiates a chat session with tech support on dialup.

Customer states that all lights are on the modem including "online" even though she kept calling the modem the router.

Modem is not online - if modem is unplugged for a long time, it will not show up.

Advised customer to hook up modem to computer.

Thinking to self, "She's still on dialup. Won't that connection interfere with the cable connection?"

Lusers have made tech rep stupid after a year of service and cannot think straight during this call.

Advised customer to call in so that she could effectively troubleshoot the issue with a representative on the phone and disconnect that dialup connection and hook up the cable connection back to the computer.

Tech finds out there are many, many cow-orkers who like to run to management to report other employees for small issues in the workplace.

Supe decides to QA that call the day after he "corrects" tech for laughing and talking louder than usual with 3 other coworkers the night before because of a cow-orker who needs complete silence while working.

Tech fails call because of a Luser's stupidity and apparently didn't follow P&P.

No bonus for Tech for the month of August.

Tech feels the stress that if she cannot talk during shift, she will cry.

Tech wants new job.

FISH?!?!?!

[purrrsephone.livejournal.com]

Spoke to some people today who prove my point that HELMETS should be sent out as part of our company's DSL users' equipment when they sign up for a new account.

( Lovely day for HELMETS, I tell you!!! )

Again...helmets...necessary...like WHOA.
Why can't other people see this?!

X-posted to: techsupport & purrrsephone