Inspired by x_deliveryboy's post..

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

It seems that often customer complaints can be reduced to : "But YOU should be responsible for MY actions!"

I'd like to ask you to relate any story you have of customers expecting you to be their conscience/common-sense director/financial advisor/guardian angel... Any time a customer thought that your omniscient-like abilities extended to dealing with their inadequacies or fixing their mistakes before they've even thought of making them.

So, what happened when a customer mistook you for God?

What to doooooooooo what to dooooo

[normal1.livejournal.com]

I really dont see the point of people calling TWICE in the same day for the same issue. An issue which has been resolved by the other technician - resolved in that an FSR has been scheduled to fix the problem - Are you some sort of freaking internet addict? Do you not have a life? Are you fat, ugly - wait, even fat and ugly people have friends so.. you're in a category all on your own.

Yes, you. You that has the indecency to call up at 8:00am to troubleshoot a connection problem which has ALREADY BEEN RESOLVED and have the balls to have an attitude about it. You should be shot, mauled and stabbed in places you've never even thought existed. Get a Life

P as in penis . . .

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

ME: Thankyou for calling , my name is ladynisa, may I please have your .

CU: Oh, I'm sorry, I was looking for technical support.

ME: This is technical support, can I have your please?

::I unplug my headset as the customer beings furiously mashing the number buttons::

After waiting for 15 seconds...

ME: Why did you do that?

CU: You asked for my .

ME: I need you to tell it to me. Pressing the number buttons doesn't do anything.

CU: ::grumbles something under his breath about women and begrudingly gives me the account information::

ME: now how can I help you today?

CU: I want to speak with a technician.

ME: You are, how can I help you?

CU: No sweety, I want to speak with a *real* technician.

ME: You ARE speaking with a real technician.

CU: Well then, why don't you just be a sweetheart and get me up to a higher technician.

ME: This is the first time you've called us sir, there is no reason to bother a *higher* technician, especially just because you can't handle a woman sitting behind the phone.

CU: Well, I . . I . . .

ME: I know. You didn't want to hurt my feelings because I'm a delicate woman. Well, I can see right through your act. I'm not a delicate woman, I'm a technician. I'm probably the least delicate woman you will speak with, at least today. Now what exactly do you need help with?

(no subject)

[das-prompt.livejournal.com]

I'm too tired for this today.

*****

Customer calls in, speaking in broken english with a Mexican accent. He's trying to send an email, and is being prompted for a password.

Customer: What is my password?

Me: I don't have access to that, but I can reset it for you.

Customer: But I'll lose my paragraph! It's very long and I don't want to make it again.

Me: Hold on, let's back up. What email program are you using?

Customer: Reply.

Me: "Reply" is not a program. Are you using Outlook, or...?

Customer: I hit the reply button.

Me: Are you using an email program or are you getting your email through the web?

Customer: Yes.

Me: No, which is it? Are you using a program like Outlook, or are you on our website?

Customer: Reply.

Me: OK, you're replying. Obviously you can receive email, which means you had to have your password sometime. How did you receive your email?

Customer: Someone sent it to me.

Me: Yes, I understand someone sent you email. And if you don't have your password, it's probably already in your email program, so if I reset it, you won't be able to receive your email unless you change it in the program.

Customer: Do you know my password and don't want to tell me?

Me: No. We can't see the password, we can only reset it.

Customer: I'll lose my paragraph!

Me: *silence*

Customer: I'll ask my son. *click*