(no subject)

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

Man I wish my customers would stop trying to have a conversation with me about crap that doesn't concern the issue at hand. I love being a dick at times.
Cx: "I had this error and it reminded me of this time my friends computer system had a similar error and blah blah blah."
Me: "Focus, ma'am, Focus."
Cx: "Excuse me?"
Me: "We need to keep ourselves focused on the problem at hand."
Cx: "I'll have you know I waited.."
Me: *speaking over cx* "You waited an extraordinary amount of time, and for that we thank you for your patience. Now, in order to keep you from having to waste any more time than is absolutely necessary on this phone, we have to focus on the issue you're having NOW. That will help everyone behind you as well by shortening their wait time."
Cx: "But I'm certain this is related to my friends system that had blah blah blah..."
Me: *speaking over cx again* "No, it's not. I will make the decisions on what information is pertinent, and right now what is pertinent to the issue at hand is what lights are on your DSL modem, what version of windows you have, and what you see on the screen that is out of the ordinary. Now we can continue to fight one another or we can solve your problem. What do you want to do?"
Cx: "I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE ELSE!"
Me: "Thank you ma'am, please hold."
*Transfers to bottom of que.*

Let someone else mollycoddle the damned user. Idiot. Abrasive? Yes. Abrupt? Certainly. Right? ALWAYS.

Passing along the knowledge

[hoffman-log.livejournal.com]

How to bend some asshole's criticism to work in your favor

Names have been changed to protect the oblivious and emails have been truncated to only relevant subject matter.  (x-posted to personal LJ)

---

(What started it all)

To: Matt (BlackBerry)
From: John (BlackBerry)
Sent: Today, 2010 -0500
Subject: BlackBerry Info

Matt,

I saw your attachment, but I am not sure that it is what I was looking for.  Perhaps I am not seeing it right.  I do not expect you to worry about this until you are scheduled to work.  Please do not respond unless you are working (at work).  I only expect support from you when you are scheduled to work.

Thanks,

John

---

(The reply)

To: John (BlackBerry)
From: Matt (BlackBerry)
Sent: Today, 2012 -0500
Subject: Re: BlackBerry Info

John,

I'm glad to see that you think I'm exceeding expectations!

Thanks,

Matt

---

(His response)

To: Matt (BlackBerry)
From: John (BlackBerry)
Sent: Today, 2015 -0500
Subject: Re: BlackBerry Info

Matt,

I never said that...

Thanks,

John

---

(My amusement)

To: Karen (BlackBerry)  (our supervisor)
From: Matt (BlackBerry)
Sent: Today, 2017 -0500
Subject: Fw: BlackBerry Info

Karen,

Need a laugh?  Read this thread :-P

Thanks,

Matt

---

Bwahahahhahaa

I got the mother f*cker :-D

_MaH

Well, I got MY laugh of the night.

[tadiera.livejournal.com]

This one isn't even about the customer - this was another tech!

The issue got sent up to the senior agents (Tier 3, essentially, and while I'm Tier 1, I'm knowledgeable enough and chat with them a lot, just haven't been with the company as long) and one of them is looking over the ticket.

'ping yahoo.com.... Okay...'
'ping ..... Wait, what the hell?'

The tech had the customer ping her own phone number.

I about fell over myself with laughter - I was on my way out for the night, so it was a good note to leave on.