(no subject)

[fnordx.livejournal.com]

Why do customers lie? Do they think we won't notice or something? I mean, I'm not just talking about small lies, I mean big obviously affecting lies.

"Sir, do you know how to use the Unix operating system?"
"Yes, of course I do."

a little while later in the call...

"What's the command to change directories? What's the command to create a directory?"

I was around 2 seconds away from telling this guy that he shouldn't be on a Unix plan, since he was obviously going to do more harm than good... but then I reconsidered, and figured out that if he ruins his system he'll have to rent one of our sysadmins to fix it.

"What's the command to make a directory?"
"It's mkdir."
"Ok, it's giving me two options, which one do I choose?"
"Sir, why are you trying to create a directory?"
"To see if I can."
"Why are you trying to create a directory here?"
"So I can see if I can FTP into it."
"Sir, you really shouldn't be trying to create a directory in the FrontPage configuration directory."

That's just a small sample of what I'm sure was at least a 45 minute call. And the guy spoke English as a second language to Spanish. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but there were times when it was so bad that I had to give up on trying to understand him and just tell him not to try to do whatever it was he was trying to do. And, of course, he's setting up a pr0n web site. And he's had 12 tickets opened over the last two days. Lord knows I spoke to him 4 or 5 times last night.

Oh god, he just called again. Thank god he hung up when he heard it was me. It's calls like this that seriously make you lose what little bits of remaining sanity points you have left.

(no subject)

[trenthamfamily.livejournal.com]

Me: Do you know your computers IP address so I can proxy in?
Dumdum: Yeah I have it.
Me: *waiting*
Dumdum: How do I get that?
Me: *smacks head on the desk wishing for unconsciousness*

Why can't people just SAY they dont' have it? *sigh*

:)

today's first call...

[mellay.livejournal.com]

old man - "yea i dun take care of these things i just get on teh internet...i can't get on this thing is brand NEW why can't i get on...i don't even haff aol on here!"
me - "sir, it shows here in your order details that no modem was ordered for the system."
o.m. - "wha...what'ssat?"
me - "a modem?"
o.m. - "yuh"
me - "the modem is what allows you to be connected to the internet."
o.m. - "nobody never told me that i just wanna get on my aol now why didn't i get a modem just get me on the internet."
me - "ok sir, what i can do is connect you to our sales department so you can order a modem for your system."
o.m. - "now, will that get me on the aol?"
me - "... ... ... yes...if you go out to the post office, target, or any other store that carries the FREE AOL DISKS."
o.m. - "ok now if i can't get on my aol i'm callin dell back and i'm gonna give em YER NAME"
me - "ok sir, do what you feel is necessary. please hold, and i'll transfer you to our sales department."

yeah.
not only did my day start out like this...
he didn't know his service tag, express service code, customer number OR order number.
it was FUN trying to find his name.,

...and the ONLY reason i had to deal with him today was...dun dun dun...his son owns a marketing office, and bought him a computer...on the company's dell account.

oh....head splodie.