Funniest things customers have ever said.

[punkygoat.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'll start a trend here, because I'd sure love to read some posts about customers saying hilarious things not necessarily related to their stupidity, because nothing relieves the stress like a hardy laugh.

This is by far the funniest I've heard:
A customer calls and complains about the spam he recieves. He is a very calm, soft-spoken man of seemingly high intelligence and he already suspects there's probably nothing we can do about the problem. What was particularly troubling was the large number of sexually oritentated mail he gets and cites the example of penis enlargement mails. Now, the way he spoke, it seemed as though he didn't even like to use and particularly "lude" terms.
"And it's not really even the added implication that I don't have enough penis, god knows I'm Italian and they'll have to strap it down when I'm dead."
Then it was a race between my finger and my mouth. The finger won, hitting Mute before the donkey bray could be released, and I then commenced to pound the desk with my fists.

Now it's your turn

(no subject)

[inahandbasket]

I support the people in the research labs at a large pharmacudical company.
This makes for some really interesting opening lines when we get calls.
Lines such as,
"Hi, this is Mary from Infectious Diseases!"
And there's so freaking many doctors, that some of them have great names. We get calls from Dr. Slaughter and Dr. Stoner. There's someone named Ying Yang who calls us, and an I. V. Dick. (I really wish it was a B instead of a V.)

We're an MS Office/Outlook site. (bleah.) We had one guy call who had been with the company for 3 years, and never knew outlook existed. he had been doing all of his e-mail through Excel.

Oh, and know that urban myth about the guy who calls dell tech support, and after 20 minutes of troubleshooting it's determined that there's no electricity in his house?
Yeah, we got that call last October. >_<

They're not the most common sensical doctors.

salut

[zimxim.livejournal.com]

i'm new here, just thought i'd introduce myself. i work for a small ISP in illinois and i've been doing technical support for 8 months. i don't get yelled at often, but i absolutely cannot stand it when someone is transferred to my phone and asks me at least once, "are you technical support?" because i'm female. i don't mind stupid folks nearly as much as the sexist pricks that need to be severely LARTed.