"It won't print!!!"

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Remote to a woman's machine and she's got a web page with the online version of some print publication displayed in some kind of Flash app. Click the Print button for her, at the top of the Flash app, and put in the page range she wants, click OK. Windows print dialog box pops, change settings from Auto Select to Printer Auto Select and save the settings.

Pages print fine.

Woman calls back almost immediately. "Now it's asking me to save a file!" Watch as she clicks File-Print in Explorer, selects Microsoft Office Document Writer, probably without even looking, and clicks Print without even entering a page range. Tell her "if you don't use the print button in the window there, you're going to get unpredictable results" and also politely inform her that she has selected a "printer" that will only create a file and not print anything.

Watch as she does the exact same thing again and listen to her complain that it's not doing what she wants it to. Inform her that if she doesn't do it the way I showed her, she's not going to get the same results I did, and once again inform her that she has selected a "printer" that will not print anything. Listen as she says "oh, well, all right" and hangs up. Tell associates you're not taking calls from that person any more. Walk out back door of office and throw self in front of bus.

Comments

[mouser.livejournal.com]

With some people "You're Doing It Wrong" is just not in their vocabulary.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

I just hope I remembered to hit Mute when I told all my associates "and now she's doing exactly what I just told her not to do."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_caecus_/]

I just had a call like that. A user locked herself out of one system. I assigned her a temporary password and asked her to log in to this portal system which will allow her to set her active directory password which is universal on the systems she was trying to access. She calls back, because the password isn't working on the first system she asked about. She didn't even bother trying to reset it, like I told her.

[wuglet.livejournal.com]

I always wonder what would happen if you told users like that "listen, I can SEE what you are doing on your computer!" Would love to see the freak-out. ;)

[egearman.livejournal.com]

"You can't do that! It's illegal!"

"No. As a matter of fact, as part of the employment contract you signed and as part of my job duties, I have to do this. Now, there are over a thousand computers in this facility alone, so I generally am not looking at any one in particular. Unless someone or something draws my attention to it. Are you doing anything like that?"

*click*

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Scared the shit out of someone recently when their mouse cursor started to move on it's own!

Makes me wish I could put a force feed mouse (http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-WingMan-Force-Feedback-Mouse/dp/B00001W01Z) on some peoples desktops...

[xforge.livejournal.com]

I get one of those about every other day. Always with someone in the background saying "yeah, they can do that."

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

Scared the shit out of someone recently when their mouse cursor started to move on it's own!

I loved doing that. I supported farm equipment dealers, who were usually more familiar with bush hogs than PCs.

"I control the vertical, I control the horizontal. I can launch a thousand apps, or I can expand one to fill your screen."

[black-spot.livejournal.com]

When IT did that to a colleague and they didn't understand, I tried my best to persuade them it was them going mad. That was a fun ten minutes.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_caecus_/]

Half the time they have a stroke every time I start moving the mouse, when they can't follow instructions. I've had a couple of them actually fight me for control of the mouse, until I say, "Do you want me to fix it? Leave it alone, so I can please." I wish the remote software we used would allow us to disable the end user input.

[jecook]

I had to nuke and reload someone's crackberry this morning. Out of the four or five that we've deployed to this group, she's the only one who consistantly frags her contacts every two months like clockwork.

She's getting something else RSN, which pleases me- less support for her.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of glad a lot of people are getting Androids and iPhones and leaving BB behind because we were forced to officially support BB, but iPhone we can tell them "well, we don't support that, here's the instructions how to set it up to receive emails and that ends our commitment to that device, have a nice day!"

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Damn - I had to write up "instructions" on how to setup iPhones with mail. "Click-Click-Click-Enter this and that-Click-Click-Click-DONE!"

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

We don't support mobilephones as each one has a different way of setting up email. Here however is your settings.

I did however do a quick guide for iphone cause it was way easier then just having to discuss it in lenght.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_caecus_/]

I am *so* glad that all phone and VoIP support is a totally different group than us.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

There are some people who you really wish you tell them to hand over their computers as they're too dumb to use them safely.