What's the worst thing to hear at the start of the call?

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

My vote goes to "This is the second day I've been on the phone with you people..."

Comments

[spiker-uk.livejournal.com]

"I did everything my next-door neighbour/cubemate/colleague* who's good with computers said and it still didn't work."

(* delete as applicable). Mainly because we know that'll have made things worse rather than better.

[goatavatar.livejournal.com]

"i just had my machine in there and its doing the same thing"
when working at a computer repair store. then you look up the paperwork to find out it as 6+ months ago. dont know how that constitutes "just in there"

[fuego.livejournal.com]

I vote for "I forgot the password and the master password on my encrypted user account and that's where I have the only complete copy of all of the records for my multi-million-dollar business"

Then there's "I just spilled a cup of coffee into the grate of my $50,000 video conferencing unit."

[captpackrat.livejournal.com]

"I'm not actually in front of the computer right now."

[azurelunatic]

"I want to talk to a supervisor."

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

I once got the Super "I'm not actually in front of the computer right now" Turbo Tournament Edition. The guy's internet was out, and he'd switched to a VOIP phone and disabled his landline (and this in 2005!). He was calling from a payphone a block from his house...

[vertelemming.livejournal.com]

The phone ringing.

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

"Okay, LOOK...."

[gargoyle575.livejournal.com]

"I need to talk to the person I was talking to before. I don't remember his name but it was a guy, and he had an accent." 90% of our staff is male and/or has some kind of accent.

The phone ringing and "This is the nth day I've called" rate up there.

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

"The person I just talked to over there told me..." (insert blatant lie)

[taleya.livejournal.com]

"Now look..."

[lolotehe]

"Is there a guy I can talk to?"

[tattooofhername.livejournal.com]

"I don't have time to go through all your scripted start-of-call BS. Just do exactly what I tell you, in order, or put me through to someone who can..."

When the department I was working in had nothing to do with what he wanted, I had no way to even pull up his details on the system, and he refused to call the correct number and talk to someone who COULD help him.

[fnordx.livejournal.com]

I have two:

"I'm an MCSE and..."

and

"I'm losing millions of dollars every minute!"

[fnordx.livejournal.com]

Those are the best for me normally. If the person on the other end asks for a supervisor, then I don't have to talk to them for more than 1-2 minutes to get their info, and that's it. And then normally we all make fun of them after the call.

[azurelunatic]

Due to a not insignificant number of customers abusing the immediately-talk-to-a-supervisor-to-bypass-the-front-lines thing, we on the front lines were expected to see if it was something we could resolve, while flagging down a supervisor.

This ... wasn't always the best way things could have been done.

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

"It worked yesterday"

and

"My grandkids were here...."

[jewelz996.livejournal.com]

I work at a technical support office now. I get that all the time. "You're going to attempt to fix my problem?"

Or my favorite whenever I have to carry out a large desktop machine (Think Mac Pro)
"Oh My Gosh Honey! Are you going to be ok carrying that? You should really have a man do that."

[4ti3k4t35.livejournal.com]

"I am a realtor." or "I have been in networking for over fifteen years." usually translates to "I couldn't pour piss out of a boot if there were instructions on the heel."

But what I really hate to hear is "I think I deserve some sort of compensation for my trouble."

[mouser.livejournal.com]

I've gotten calls from guys driving down the street, and from coffee shops while he was trying to VPN with his home computer and neither of us could hear the other.

[mouser.livejournal.com]

One job my supervisor wasn't a technician - he was management.

Yea, good luck with THAT one buddy!

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Heh - I've gotten that one. Currently I'm the ONLY ONE that is on the queue line (not as bad as it sounds).

[azurelunatic]

Bonus points for "I'm driving".

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

LMFAOOOOOOO

Realtors go stupid on the phone. I work for an answering service; four or five of our clients are real estate agencies. They're arrogant, petty, and have the weirdest sort of superiority complex...

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

I got an IM earlier today from my coworker who was leaving: "Phones are all yours!"

And oh god, they were.