(no subject)

[mix-hyenataur.livejournal.com]

So I got this email from some "we text you random tickets over the phone. Accept/Deny?" places.

I visit their site and notice "live help chat" and wanted to make sure they weren't scammers.

Please wait for the next available representative…
Herm Afrodite: HELP

You are next in queue. We will be with you in just a moment.
Ilya: Hi, Please hold on a moment while I review your problem. I will be with you shortly.
Ilya: How can I help?
Herm Afrodite: I can't get off
Ilya: really?
Ilya: thats pretty awful
Herm Afrodite: yes, i tried getting off, and there's a problem
Herm Afrodite: "User doesn't exist. Please contact your administrator."
Ilya: ........
Herm Afrodite: I don't understand
Ilya: ok sure we can help with that issue
Herm Afrodite: I can't get off on computer
Ilya: we can have a technician come to your home or office to fic that issue
Herm Afrodite: I rebooted, same issue.
Ilya: We can schedule an appointment Monday-Friday 9am-9pm or Sa-Su- 10am-7pm
Herm Afrodite: I am on a satillite uplink, offshore
Ilya: zip code?
Herm Afrodite: offshore? meaning, in a yaht. I can give you the number of fish I see, though.
Herm Afrodite: Can't you get on me and help me get off?
Ilya: lol! ok i gotcha
Ilya: YEah sure!
Ilya: We charge a flat hourly rate for all of our services. It's $99 for the first hour, then $25 for each quarter hour after that. On average, our calls range from around an hour to an hour and a half.
Ilya: for that price Im sure you can get off
Herm Afrodite: That seems illegal.
Ilya: because its too cheap?
Herm Afrodite: The phone calls seem a bit much.
Herm Afrodite: because I would have to pay for other charges as well
Ilya: yeah thats no good
Herm Afrodite: I could do Skype.
Ilya: You may want to consider looking in a better place than a computer repair shop
Herm Afrodite: But I need someone to get on so I can get off. Otherwise, I will keep losing my power.
Herm Afrodite: Can't you remote in and check it out?
Ilya: I think the problems you are having are beyond our repair skill
Herm Afrodite: it's a login issue
Herm Afrodite: i cannot log out to shut down
Herm Afrodite: how is that hard?
Ilya: do a hard shut down
Ilya: its in an HP DV2000?
Herm Afrodite: Am I too hard? Can't you check out how hard it is?
Ilya: IDK Im a dude, man
Herm Afrodite: let me see.
Ilya: i doubt you would like that
Herm Afrodite: DV6620US
Herm Afrodite: I want you to
Ilya: k lemme check
Herm Afrodite: please, I will pay you
Ilya: ANNNDD that model number does nto exist
Ilya: and i think you are a lonely miserable person that is obviously not on a yahct
Ilya: or has any money to pay for sexchat
Herm Afrodite: DV6626us
Ilya: Wich is understandble for a pathetic asshole like yourself
Ilya: thanks for the amusement tho
Ilya: we all had a good laugh
Herm Afrodite: lol
Herm Afrodite: you guys emailed me, thought i'd give ya a laugh
Ilya: Yah know Im at WORK
Ilya: doing work
Ilya: unlike some folks
Ilya: that dont WORK
Ilya: haha well our mistake
Ilya: *** Left the conversation ***
Herm Afrodite: daw

_________________

Please wait for the next available representative…
Jon: Replying to your email about job recruitment.
You are next in queue. We will be with you in just a moment.
Ilya: Hi, Please hold on a moment while I review your problem. I will be with you shortly.
Ilya: ok
Jon: hello.
Ilya: sure can I answer any questions
Jon: Sure, give me a sec.
Ilya: Herm Afodite?
Jon: Is this a 1099 contract?
Ilya: yes
Jon: And can I cancel a ticket if the customer is unruly?
Ilya: haha,
Ilya: some customers can be jerks but if there is ever an issue on site, please call the office, we are trained to deal with the hariest ofsituations
Jon: What if I accidentally the whole thing?
Ilya: what whole thing
Jon: 93MB of .rar files
Jon: what should I do...is this dangerous?
Ilya: rar files? which ones are you talking about
Ilya: I mean dont delete anything without customer knowledge
Jon: Ok, gotcha.


Needless to say, I got the job.

Comments

[docskurlock.livejournal.com]

Wait, they're serious? No effing way.

[mix-hyenataur.livejournal.com]

way. i just signed the contract

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

So, what...you work their online chats at your leisure?
Awesome that you got work. :)

[mix-hyenataur.livejournal.com]

it's just the 'leisurely contract', it doesn't gauruntee work, it's just dispatch, and I'm sure they have other techs that compete for the same tickets.

[trayce.livejournal.com]

There are jobs where you can call customers pathetic assholes and not be fired? o_0

[mix-hyenataur.livejournal.com]

apparently so