Maybe its just a minor bitch out of many

[sdx.livejournal.com]

But I've got 2 for today.

"Ma'am, I need you to unplug the small black power cord out of the back of the modem for 20 seconds".

a) They can't figure out which cord it is. I can't help but get a little snarky, there's 3 cords.
"Ma'am, its not the thick ethernet cable, and its not the phone line, so ....". I still get people who have a problem after that. Their internet license should be revoked.

b) While doing multiple things at once (for the cx, helping other techs out), I'll say "Ma'am, I need you to unplug the small black power cord out of the back of the modem for 20 seconds"

And they'll say "let me know when 20 seconds is up".

If you're so goddamned lazy or retarded that you can't count to 20 seconds on your own, you really have no business operating a computer.

Comments

[zucci-zookeenee.livejournal.com]

Omigod, yes on both accounts. Like, can't you count to 20 in your head?
Lazy asshats.

Also: I had a woman freak out once saying that she shouldn't have to unplug the power, that she didn't know how, that we should send out a tech for that. After bascially insulting her intelligence with a "have you ever unplugged a toaster?" "YES! WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!" "It's no different!"
Huffed away, did it and, poof, it worked! (of course, according to her, we're all still retarded and should've sent out a tech to do that)

God damn lazy asshats.
I swear, people that that were the ones that repeatedly tried to put the square peg in the round hole. And never understood why it didn't work.

The urge to hold back and not opening insult these sorts of people is painful sometimes. (note, I work for business tech support. people that own and supposedly operate large and small businsess! Scary!)

[/end rant because I need to go to work and actually help these morons now]

[shirenomad]

But I need my computer to count for me!

[cirobi.livejournal.com]

it almost makes you want to ask them how their business is doing with the hope that they say "slow" or "not well" so you could point out their lack of intelligence and ability to follow directions may be the cause. Buuuuut, unfortunately that's unprofessional. It'd still be really damn funny and would be a good parting shot if you hated your job enough, lol.

[vulpisfoxfire.livejournal.com]

I wonder if she'll try to bill you because you 'made her do the tech's job'? ;-)

[donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com]

After almost two years working helpdesk at an ISP, I really can't count how many times I've run into that same issue.

Also, people have problems counting how many lights the front of the modem has on. Apparently "none" actually means "one" (cf. Motorola Surfboard standby).