Illiteracy!

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

Today, I was asked by a secretary if I knew how to read because she couldn't locate the print or back button in IE8. I don't get it either. Of course, since I'm apparently illiterate, I don't even know if this post makes any sense whatsoever.

Comments

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

Say what?

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

She was upset because, in IE8, the buttons aren't labeled. The little picture of a printer and such...it's not enough for her.

I behaved. I didn't call her a harpy, nor did I give her a ghetto z-snap and tell her I could read her up and down Michigan Ave.

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

So the 2/10 of a second that it takes to hover the cursor and get the label is too long for her? :p

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

Well, obvs.

[batchfile.livejournal.com]

I think this is where you smile, say "no. i can't read" and then pass it up to your supervisor.

Insults like that do not belong in the workplace at all. It's unprofessional.

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

Next time she sends a ticket through email I'm responding to her and telling her I kant reed it cuz Im illitereite.

Just like that.

[dave-iii.livejournal.com]

Because clearly. all problems are your fault. *eyeroll*

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

Well clearly. We're getting outsourced in 2 weeks - I wonder how much fun she'll have with the new kids.

[nathaniel (from livejournal.com)]

I think the correct response to that is, "Why? Do you need some help?"

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

I was so surprised she would say something like that, I couldn't respond right away.

That's why I need an airhorn next to my phone. Every time someone says something that catches me like that, I can just obliterate their eardrums.

[tanetris.livejournal.com]

I confess, I've never actually seen IE8, but does the print button still look like a printer?

Back, I'll give you if you've never used a web browser before. It's an esoteric concept associating left with back and right with forward, much like how one reads from left to right in the English language. Of course, if you're familiar enough to expect a Back button to exist, you're familiar enough to know what one looks like.

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

It does look like a printer. It has a little piece of paper sticking out of it and everything.

She's been with the firm since before the intarwebz was born, and has been using IE6 for at least a few years now, so she should be familiar with the forward/back idea. It's just change. She doesn't like it.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Sounds like it's time for her to be dragged off to the kind of remedial training where she doesn't get to leave until she's mastered concepts that two-year-olds would consider basic.

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

She can't, from what I've heard, figure out how to get her Porche out of first gear. I'm pretty sure she's beyond all hope of operating anything more complex than an Etch-a-Sketch.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Someone that dim has a Porsche?

...you'd think there would be a service somewhere you could call for separating fools and their money. Ideally, one that works on commission.

I wonder if she could be convinced to buy a holiday timeshare in swampland or an underwater island?

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

It just goes to show there is very little justice in the universe. She can't operate a Start menu and has a Porche. I spent 2 1/2 years reformatting 8 year old Net Vistas and I'm driving a 4 pound Corolla with part of the driver's door falling apart.

Maybe I can sell her this bridge I've seen...

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

She can't operate a Start menu, *or manage a manual shift transmission*, and has a Porsche. That latter must not be omitted. (I'm cringing just *imagining* what she's doing to those poor gears. Sort of like giving a two-year-old a Stradivarius to knock things around the room with..)

[caira.livejournal.com]

...you'd think there would be a service somewhere you could call for separating fools and their money. Ideally, one that works on commission.
From the evidence presented, I'd say that would be her local Porsche dealership.

[tanetris.livejournal.com]

"She can't, from what I've heard, figure out how to get her Porche out of first gear."

*chokes on rage*

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

I know. I know. *patpat*

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

"I have no idea how all the oil drained out of the engine and made it all seize up!"

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

No, no, if you're going to do that, fill it back up again. With maple syrup. So she doesn't get that annoying oil light.

Did I say that out loud?

[amynnah.livejournal.com]

I like this idea...

[jecook]

The *real* fun is applying that to a Hebrew-language version of windows, where everything is backwards and in a completely different language.

Fortunately, those users happened to have enough intelligence to translate for me, because Hebrew is one of the languages I can't grok readily.

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

Not only in a different language, but in a different alphabet too.

Zark, I wish I could've turned her IE Hebrew.

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

And even if she couldn't see or identify the button, all you have to do is click File and there will be a Print under there.

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

That's too many clicks - the people here want computers to be pre-cognizant and completely automated. It's funny, some of the things they ask.

[mix-hyenataur.livejournal.com]

Did you accidentally the whole button?

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

All of them, too.

[hotclaws.livejournal.com]

She needs a seeing brain dog.

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

Hang on -- she couldn't find the button, and accused you of not being able to read?

[crazycatlady.livejournal.com]

That's how she rolls - rather like a cube.

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

Good - I wasn't the only one thinking "WTF? How does HER being an amoeba have anything to do with YOU?"

[vulpisfoxfire.livejournal.com]

Wow--I know IE8 has lots of interface problems (I think it lasted all of maybe 5 minutes on my machine, 4 of which were making sure I could uninstall it without hassle, before I set Firefox to my default browser for good), but how in the world does a lack of text (I'm presuming IE8 does away with the handy-dandy 'text labels' feature?) on a Microsoft program construe illitercy on *your* part??? Definitely a 'Wait, whut?' moment there...

[codecattx.livejournal.com]

Nope, the feature is there.

Just right click on the toolbar and select Show Text Labels.

The default is "Show selective text" so you have text for new icons that people might not know, and just the icon for the standard ones.

You can also turn all text off too.

Hells, it is pretty much the same as right clicking on Firefox's toolbar and choosing Customize, just without having to close a dialog at the end.

[amynnah.livejournal.com]

Hit Ctrl+Alt+Left arrow on her PC. Maybe seeing things at a different angle will improve her perspective. And when she asks how to fix it, shrug and say, "I'm not literate. And it's above my paygrade."