I swear this just happened.

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

I get a call from a customer wanting to know about his dial-up account. He'd previously brought in his computer and asked me to "set it up so I can get on the internet," which was a simple Dial-Up Networking config on a Windows 98 box. Script-style, for your viewing pleasure.

CG = Clueless Guy
Me = *waves*

CG: Yeah, I can't get on the internet. When I go to connect there's this thing that says "default".
Me: Sir, you need to change where it says "Default" to the username you registered with $isp.
CG: Okay, thank you.

Ten minutes go by, phone rings again, manager answers and then hands it off to me because the guy asked for me specifically. I hate it when they do that.

Me: This is Tag.*
CG: Yeah, I know I'm doing something stupid. It keeps saying "Check your password."
Me: *headdesk* Sir, you need to talk to $isp_company and verify your password with them.
CG: Oh. Okay, thanks!

O_O WTF? I told him when he picked his computer up that he needed to check with his ISP. Are people intentionally this forgetful?

* I don't actually use my nickname at work. But I don't use my real name on the interwebs. It's a fair compromise, I think.

Comments

[snoopyh42.livejournal.com]

User logic: He can get through to you on the phone in a matter of seconds. If he took the time to call his ISP, it could be several minutes, longer depending on the ISP.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Not to mention that his memory consists of:

"I spoke to Tag and got help. Tag knows computer things. Therefore if anything electronic AT ALL is confusing, I should call Tag FOREVER."

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

+several_thousand. you poor bastard.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

About the only way out of it that's even remotely effective is to carry around neon orange Post-its and a sharpie, write "For computer/internet problems, call xxx-xxxx" on it (using the appropriate ISP number etc), and stick it to their monitor.

If you can't do that in person, walk them through doing it themselves, even if it's only with a sheet of A4 sitting between screen and keyboard.

Also: that policy of handing calls off to named technicians should be dragged out and shot. Correct method is for any phone answerer being asked for a named technician to say "They're attending to another caller, is there anything $team_name can help you with?" by default. Otherwise you get dozens or hundreds of callers who will want to wait on hold forever for a favorite tech, clogging up the phone lines and giving the tech a persecution complex.

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Brian: I am NOT the Messiah!
Arthur: I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

Most of the time I manage to solve this by saying "He's with a customer, can I help you with something?" When they say no they need him specifically I ask if I can take a message. He gets around to it eventually.

One good thing about my manager. He keeps the retards out of my way so I can work.

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

You've all made me very sad. But even more saddening is the knowledge that it's all true.

The worst part is that I like to learn about all things electronic, not just computer-related.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

A fine thing to do. Just don't let timewasting idiots know what you can do unless they're paying you. Up front. In cash.

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

The trouble with the timewasting idiots is that the people they work for (or at least the ones they report to directly) don't understand how much time they waste, how disruptive they are to the support resource chain, or how in fact most of them abuse the support system to either get out of work or offload it onto unsuspecting subordinates. And most of the time, the reason the management doesn't realize the full cost of their behavior is that they're timewasting idiots too, and at best have managed to hide it better than the people under them.

(Of course, the higher up the ladder they manage to climb, the more VIP-ish they become, so when they get to people like me, they have VIP attitude and VIP expectations, and I think they honestly believe they're fooling me into thinking they have a clue. Even *during* the process of inserting their feet firmly into their mouths.)

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

Oh, I only do that for work-related and audio-engineering-related. The rest I have to hoard or I'll never have a moment's peace.

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

dial-up?

seriously?

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Seriously.

South Georgia, dude. America's taint.

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

I've got a dial-up NAT router I could probably sell him .. ;D

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

Might want to save that for the CNS cable customer who thinks he needs to connect his phone to his cable modem somehow and doesn't understand when I tell him that no, cable internet does not come off your phone lines, that's DSL and that's a higher frequency than phones carry, that's why they give you those neat little filter things.

Of course, he was probably lying to me and has dial-up anyway, or maybe something like a MagicJack.