(no subject)

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

User brings his laptop in to us with the message "AVG won't update" (he doesn't strictly work for our school, so he's not getting our site licensed Sophos, he can have AVG free). Turns out what he actually meant was "I've been fiddling with my DNS settings, now the Internet won't work". Damn users!

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Comments

Solution

[lunatic59.livejournal.com]

New notebook security protocol ... after three failed attempts at correctly setting IP/DNS values the keyboard issues a taser-like discharge and the desktop wallpaper changes to a picture of the user's own ass.

Re: Solution

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

Oooh, tempting!

[hotclaws.livejournal.com]

"The internet isn't working"
Turn up to fix it to find the kids have been using the laptop.Assorted keys are missing and others are glued down with chewed up biscuits.Oh,and "they might have dropped it once or twice"As we only fix the internet and not users computers I was able to go home and have a large drink.

[chaobell]

Yeah, I always loved the ones that came in and said "hurr, can't get mah e-mail" when what they really meant was "I can't even get into Windows and oh hey it's been making that weird clicky noise for about a year now, is that bad?"

[buckaction.livejournal.com]

"Don't tell me what you want to do. Tell me what's stopping you from doing it"


Of course, they don't understand anyway.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Best troubleshooting phrase ever: "What makes you think that?"

(and 101 variations on same)

[buckaction.livejournal.com]

"EXPERIENCE, YOU FUCKS. GET SOME AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND TOO!"

course, we can't actually say that.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

DESKTOP/NETWORK PHONE QUEUE: What's the problem with your computer?
CUSTOMER: I can't get my email.
DESKTOP/NETWORK PHONE QUEUE: One moment, please. *transfers to email queue*

90% of these were always "no network connection".

Yeah, sometimes there's a bigger issue. Sigh.