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jimbojones.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecovery"So, a computer works by having a positive pulse on the wire. What if I want to put a negative pulse out there, to just completely cancel it out. How can I do that?" (My wife was actually there with me to witness this one. The look on her face was AWESOME. No, honey, I really don't make this shit up...)
Of course, as soon as I could stuff my eyes back into my head and shake off the stupid like a wet dog coming in out of the water, I asked the guy (an engineer! with a degree!) "Back up a minute; forget the actual question you just asked - what are you trying to do?"
His response: "well, what about a diode?"
I couldn't make this shit up if I fucking WANTED to.
Ten minutes of fail later, I finally found out that he was trying to figure out how to do something with a car alarm... possibly involving his horn. Possibly not involving his horn. Or maybe when his car doors opened, or didn't open. Definitely not involving a computer, of any kind, in any possible way. I really couldn't get him to be any more clear than that.
He assured me, eventually, that "he had done all this before", he was just asking me questions hoping to save himself some time "remembering all that stuff", and as a closing question wanted to know "where can I buy diodes?" I told him, well, Radio Shack sells "diodes"... but, um, if what he was trying to do was install a car alarm, he'd probably be better off looking for parts related to that at a car stereo place. His face instantly screwed up like he'd bitten a lemon, and he said "yeah I know Norton [Car Stereo] has that stuff, but I was hoping not to have to deal with them."
I can only fucking imagine what the reactions from the guys at a car electronics place must be like when they deal with this guy... especially the second time he shows up. I am guessing it involves something along the lines of "hey Earl! GET IN HERE, that dude is back! Seriously you gotta fucking hear this shit."
Of course, as soon as I could stuff my eyes back into my head and shake off the stupid like a wet dog coming in out of the water, I asked the guy (an engineer! with a degree!) "Back up a minute; forget the actual question you just asked - what are you trying to do?"
His response: "well, what about a diode?"
I couldn't make this shit up if I fucking WANTED to.
Ten minutes of fail later, I finally found out that he was trying to figure out how to do something with a car alarm... possibly involving his horn. Possibly not involving his horn. Or maybe when his car doors opened, or didn't open. Definitely not involving a computer, of any kind, in any possible way. I really couldn't get him to be any more clear than that.
He assured me, eventually, that "he had done all this before", he was just asking me questions hoping to save himself some time "remembering all that stuff", and as a closing question wanted to know "where can I buy diodes?" I told him, well, Radio Shack sells "diodes"... but, um, if what he was trying to do was install a car alarm, he'd probably be better off looking for parts related to that at a car stereo place. His face instantly screwed up like he'd bitten a lemon, and he said "yeah I know Norton [Car Stereo] has that stuff, but I was hoping not to have to deal with them."
I can only fucking imagine what the reactions from the guys at a car electronics place must be like when they deal with this guy... especially the second time he shows up. I am guessing it involves something along the lines of "hey Earl! GET IN HERE, that dude is back! Seriously you gotta fucking hear this shit."
UPDATE: Upon relating this story to a coworker, the coworker said "yeah... he said now that he's 'figured it all out' I should pay him to do one for my car."
do it Do It DO ITDO IT!!!!1
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Probably not
Date: 2009-01-20 07:38 pm (UTC)And stare at him blankly.
--H
Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-20 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 08:09 pm (UTC)Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-20 08:09 pm (UTC)Of course, it was in English. I suspec that the guys working at your local audio service center hear less than that.
--Hawk
Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-20 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 08:29 pm (UTC)NEEDS MOAR DIODES
Date: 2009-01-20 08:33 pm (UTC)Just... what!?
NO, NOT MAH DIODES
Date: 2009-01-20 08:42 pm (UTC)Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-20 09:45 pm (UTC)The dude in question was plenty incoherent enough to be a Murloc, but nowhere NEAR angry enough.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 09:58 pm (UTC)he designs jacking rigs and lift systems for offshore drilling rigs. he loves his job. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 10:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 10:39 pm (UTC)and he'd agree with you that an incompetent engineer isnt worth the oxygen s/he's breathing.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 12:10 am (UTC)Long live the 2N2222 and 2N3904!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 01:14 am (UTC)Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-21 08:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 10:23 am (UTC)But somehow I wonder, they just make anyone an engineer these days... (which kind of shows in the software that some of our customers put out... but they're (mech and electrical) engineers! How hard can mere software be?)
;)
Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-21 02:21 pm (UTC):-D
Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-21 04:04 pm (UTC)Re: Probably not
Date: 2009-01-21 04:06 pm (UTC)Have one shiny "win" badge :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 04:30 am (UTC)Wow, they make anyone an engineer? Where can I sign up?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 04:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 06:54 pm (UTC)