*twitchtwitch*

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

Might as well post this here too. :)

Recently started a job in broadband repair. We're the 'go to' people for second line for several resellers. We also had a process change recently which means we now have an inbound customer line. We get the fault and try to reach the customer if some further testing is needed. If we can't reach them we leave a voicemail if possible or send an SMS requesting they ring us back on our nifty free number. This led to the following:

Me: Well...me. Obviously.
Customer: Absolutely starkraving bugnuts. Certified. Fucking around the sodding bend. Past the madness horizon and accelerating away in a purple and pink rocket car. Voice like a buzzsaw in heat.

Phone: *rings*
Me: *spiel*
Customer: *proceeds to throw absolute shitfit*
Me: *tries to get a word in edgewise*
Me: *fails*
Customer: *rantrantrave*
Me: Ma'am, please calm do...
Customer: *rantscreechwail*
Me: I'd love to help you, but could you ple...
Customer: *frothfrothfroth*
Me: I understand you're frustrated. Could I please n...
Customer: *fapfapfap*
Me: Excuse me?
Customer: *rantrantravefrothaneurysmfroth*
Me: Excuse me!
Customer: *dead calm* Yes, dear?
Me: I do appreciate your frustration and I'll be more than happy to help you. To do that, I need your pho...
Customer: *frothfrothfapfapowmyearsarefuckingbleeding*
Customer: And I am not spending one more minute on the phone with you, you hear? I have three children and you had better call me back right now! *frothfroth*
Me: We can do that^*. Could I please have yo...
Customer: Goodbye!
Me: ...ur phone number?

Okay. I'll just pull your phone number from my arse then, shall I? I think it's a few inches to the left of my ESP, and just half an inch beyond the magical FixIt button.

^* We can. We do. I'm not entirely sure I wanted to, but by this time I would have eaten glass to get this screaming bitch of my phone.

Comments

[trayce.livejournal.com]

And I am not spending one more minute on the phone with you, you hear? I have three children and you had better call me back right now!

*blink*... o_0 .... b b but... isnt that what you'd just done?

Brain... broken. Lady... insane.

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

I was just completely baffled by that last sentence. 'I have three children!' It just had no connection to the issue. I'm not sure what she was expecting. A cookie maybe?

[japester.livejournal.com]

I get the feeling that she just wanted someone to rant *at* and you ended up being the convenient target.
It is obvious that she did not want help, or support. She might have actually let you get a word in somewhere if that were the case.

I'd probably have hung up quite some time before you did.

[melstav]

Customer: *rantrantrave*

Sorry, but this is the point at which I would have hung up on the customer.

[canray.livejournal.com]

*When noone calls her back*

Co-Worker: *spiel*
Customer: *proceeds to throw absolute shitfit*

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

Inbound line apparently has no caller ID?

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Not that surprising, at my old workplace our VOIP system used to mung them. (mind you they routed from a central point that load balanced between call centres)

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

It does, but this customer had a withheld number, so all I got on my screen was 'unknown number'.

[2percentright.livejournal.com]

"Customer: *fapfapfap* "

I got really confused and scared at that point in the story.

[kirolee.livejournal.com]

Me too.

Great. Now I have to go watch ROTN. :)
*runs off shouting "Nerds!" over and over again.*

[2percentright.livejournal.com]

I'm not familiar with the reference to ROTN

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

OW OW OW OW OW.

Teh stupid, it burns us!