Net-what?!

[boogara.livejournal.com]

I really was trying to suppress this one, but I figured this might get some lulz out of here.

So, yesterday I was talking to a retiree, and he was trying to log into the discount site for the big ol' bad car company. Now, here's the catch on the website: if you're not using IE 6 *AND* Windows XP (more important for the next wtf), the website most likely (read: won't unless you're God) work for you. Now, I've got the troubleshooting part down to a science, so I run through the two questions..."what browser" & "what os".


Me: "Okay, sir, what browser are you using to view the website?"
Him: "Browser?"
Me: "Yeah. The program you open up to view the Internet." (best way I can describe it to retirees)
Him: "Oh, uhm...MSN."
Me: *facepalms into a different direction* "Alrighty. Sir, what do you do when you want to view the Internet?"
Him: "Oh, I use Netsex!"
Me: "Uhm...pardon?"
Him: "Uhm...I don't know. Can you tell me what you mean?"
Me: "Sure. A few common ones are Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, Opera..."
Him: basically says he opens up IE...I can't remember what he said specifically though
Me: "Alright. Now, do you know what version you have?"
Him: "Uhm...I don't know. How do I find out?"
Me: "I want you to go up to the 'Help' menu."
Him: *takes a couple of minutes to find it...during this time thinking he has IE7...* "Okay, found it!"
Me: "Awesome. Now, go to 'About Internet Explorer', and tell me what it says for version."
Him: "6.0"
Me: "Alright. Now I want you to close out of the about window. What operating system are you using?"
Him: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Are you using Microsoft Windows?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "And what version are using?"
Him: "2000."
Me: *chokes and dies*

[I can't remember how the rest of the call went...I think I escalated a ticket...can't remember.]


This one rarely happens, but has happened more than it should...and, I'm going to share the best one.


Some problem...retiree can't get into the benefits/discounts website. I go through the same troubleshooting as above...but, this is different.

Me: "What browser are you using?"
Ma'am: "Internet Explorer."
Me: "Awesome. Now, what operating system are you using?"
Ma'am: "Mac."
Me: *...* "Alright. Ma'am, I am sorry but the website is not compatible with the Mac operating system, and that is why you are having issues."
Ma'am: "What? When is Ford going to make it's websites work for the 2% of it's Mac and Firefox users?!"
Me: "Honestly, ma'am, I cannot tell you." *thinking: well, never...because of that 2% usage for Macs, compared to 98% Windows.*
Ma'am: "I can't believe this! I've gotten into the website before! Why can't I now?!"
Me: "I cannot tell you that either, as we are aware of only the Windows version of Internet Explorer 6 working with the website."
Ma'am: *disgusted* "Okay, thanks. Bye." *clicks*

If you're thinking why didn't I still try to help her out...here's why:
1) I have no Mac experience...so, that'd be like trying to convince hardcore GNOME users that KDE is better.
2) We can only go by what we have. In the documentation it specifically states that the website is only compatible with Windows XP AND Internet Explorer 6.
3) I really couldn't hold in my laughter much longer after being asked when is the 2% population going to become a majority. I understand the question, but she made it sound like she was higher and mightier...which, yeah...no.


Last one...just a simple rant. Don't know if this is more customers_suck or not, but hey...why must you hang up so hastly after I spent an hour (literally) fixing your damn home Internet issue? Of which I am not supposed to even do, but decided to since it was a slow day and I wanted to make time go by faster. EVERY ONE is doing this. I don't even get a (sincere) thank you...all well. Come next month, I'll have a job and you won't...:D

Comments

[alpha-orionis-v.livejournal.com]

The 2% thing is just about as dumb as the one I get about ten times a day.

"I've had my console since it launched nine years ago. What do you mean it's out of warranty and I have to pay $45 to get it fixed?"

[boogara.livejournal.com]

LMAO, I think in some ways yours is way worse. At least mine has somewhat sensible logic behind it, lol.

[alpha-orionis-v.livejournal.com]

I love that they go ballistic over that, too. And it's such a small fee. The one I had today, the guy started screaming at me about how "America doesn't work that like this. America is the land of customer satisfaction."

I was biting my tongue to keep from telling him that, no. America is a capitalistic republic where you're not getting anything unless you pay for it.


It was made all the better by his thick Japanese accent.

[awarrenfells.livejournal.com]

Heh. My favorite ones are as follows.

*I can't log into the internets == I can't log into windows. **Note to customer... your ISP does not know your windows login. Kthxbai.

*My modem won't connect to the internet. Solution? Power cycle the router. I mean, who thinks its a good idea to put a wireless modem on top of a wireless router.

*Customer wants the WEP key to get into their router. I mean... srsly. Why would I even know that. O.o

[boogara.livejournal.com]

Haha...I get #1 & #2 more often than I should. I hate it when I tell someone they need this or that password, and they ask me what the password is. I can sort of understand when it's related to work, but when people are trying to connect to their home network...yeeeeeeah, not gonna happen. So, I end up having fun saying, "sorry, but we do not know that information, and you must contact who ever set up your home network." Usually, their response is either "I don't know who that is" or "I did it."...both of which deliver from me to them, a worthy "Sorry, but that's all I can do...anything else?" (We get in trouble if we don't ask that at the end.)

[alpha-orionis-v.livejournal.com]

*Customer wants the WEP key to get into their router. I mean... srsly. Why would I even know that. O.o

Uuugh, I know! And then they get pissed off when you tell them to call Linksys.

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

I get three all the time from some of our customers. Thing is, if they had us set it up, the key is their own phone number - and I've had some of them forget/not know that.
I always want to answer it with "Sir, you are plainly too dumb to be on the internet. This is our screening mechanism. Thank you and good day."

[muddyroad.livejournal.com]

My own father used to ask me to fix the computer because he couldn't get on the internet = couldn't get into Windows.

Made worse by the fact that he kept insisting it was my fault.

... Pass the vodka. :/

[ravan.livejournal.com]

So, basically, if the user don't have the exact OS and browser that your vendor demands (ie their programmers were too fucking lazy to do any cross browser compatibility work), the retiree, on a fixed income, must go out and buy a new computer to satisfy the requirement? Nevermind that they probably got the computer as a gift from a family friend.

Even if it's only 2% that use macs, or win2k, or linux, that is still putting the burden of compatibility on those who can least afford it. A benefits site is not a very optional thing. If it was a porn site, you could say "so what, go elsewhere where they understand about customer service". But a benefits site, for a company? Fail. They can't go elsewhere, and they can't really justify buying a specific computer and browser just for the one site.

Yeah, 98% (that figure is high, BTW) may use Windows XP, but the other 2% are a) still customers, b) have no alternative options, and c) do not deserve to be penalized because they dare to be different, or have been gifted their computer by someone who didn't understand about their benefits site being a special snowflake that doesn't need to be cross-browser, cross-platform compatible.

BTW, the market share for all versions of Windows is 89.62%. Mac OS is 8.87%. Source: http://marketshare.hitslink.com/operating-system-market-share.aspx?qprid=8

Browser market share: 69.77% MSIE, 20.78% Firefox (http://marketshare.hitslink.com/browser-market-share.aspx?qprid=0)

So your vendors are actually freezing out about 10% of your users based on OS alone - and that's assuming that all Windows users are using XP, which you know damn well they aren't (I have a roomie who uses Win 98).

[simoncion.livejournal.com]

Nice strawman. You wanna show us the other side of 'em?

[reanimated.livejournal.com]

god forbid a company keep up with the technology...IE 6? srsly?

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

I see no strawman in that post.

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

What strawman?

[boogara.livejournal.com]

To answer your question...yes. We have no control over how it was developed...it's just what we are told, and what we have to relay to the customers. Actually, since the benefits site is only for health care and stuff, and getting a discount # on a car, they do have other numbers to call, and we give them to the user as another choice (assuming they stay on the line, and let us tell them; yeah I didn't do it during the 2nd call...we don't do it 100% of the time, but we do try...bad_service on my part maybe). The website might work with Vista, 2000, 98, etc...but the only officially supported version is XP. Basically, as long as they are using IE6 and are on a Windows machine...we do what we can. We couldn't even help the non-Windows users if we tried because we aren't trained on it. Our company only uses Windows XP and Unix machines period in it's buildings, and we don't even get to touch a Unix issue, since that's a different help desk entirely.

[reanimated.livejournal.com]

here's the part that is weirdest...IE 6?? but not 7? *headdesk* what year is this?

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

Me: "Are you using Microsoft Windows?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "And what version are using?"
Him: "2000."
Me: *chokes and dies*

How is that answer - from a retiree, no less - worth a "choke and die" response? 2K's been obsoleted, but it's a stable OS not materially different from XP. I am barely starting to see businesses and users who still have 2K ask about upgrading, and that's only because the very latest versions of Quickbooks and AutoCAD require XP.

[boogara.livejournal.com]

It was just an answer I was not expecting, that's all.

[lillyflowers.livejournal.com]

There ought to be a minimum competency test before these people are let out into the wilds of TehInternetz.

[ptomblin-lj.livejournal.com]

BTW: The Macintosh version of IE hasn't been supported or updated for a good 5 years or more. Apple doesn't even ship it with Macs any more. Tell her there is a perfectly good Safari on her computer and she should use that. Even your web site will probably work for Safari, in spite of being written by idiots.

[thecrazyfinn.livejournal.com]

IE doesn't even run on anything new enough to run a usable version of Safari.

Firefox, maybe. But chances are that box running IE is an ancient Mac running OS9 or OS X 10.2

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

I think she was using Firefox.

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

While I understand your frustration - does it say anywhere that they might be able to see that your company's site only works in IE6 on XP? If not, perhaps they can be forgiven for being confused and irritated. Especially people on older computers who may not otherwise need or be able to afford the upgrade from what is, after all, a perfectly good os. (I'm not going to get into the Mac lady's crazy, because she plainly is, and I'm typing this on a Mac anyway, sooo....)

[boogara.livejournal.com]

Honestly, we don't know if it's on the site, as we don't have access to it. No one knows why they won't let have even a generic account for the site, but yeah.

[get-a-mac.livejournal.com]

Me: "Honestly, ma'am, I cannot tell you." *thinking: well, never...because of that 2% usage for Macs, compared to 98% Windows.*

That's a really stupid thing to say.

[syberghost.livejournal.com]

Toyota and Honda's websites work great with non-IE browsers. Even on non-Windows OSes.