Gotta love VPs.
Sep. 10th, 2008 02:36 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
toxico.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryYesterday I received a priority shipment of a Vice President's laptop for reimaging. As I figured she hadn't had enough time to back up her data so she could get it shipped that day, I temporarily cast aside my "you didn't back it up; tough shit" policy and copied all her data to a DVD (normally it'd go on the network but she's remote), which I set on the laptop's keyboard before closing the lid after reimaging. I sent her a very nice email stating where the DVD was, what was on it and where I pulled it from so she can put it all right back.
This morning I'm stuck in traffic due to a semi and a city bus deciding that the intersection of two major freeways was a good place to channel Carmageddon 2. My Blackberry starts blowing up with emails and phone calls from the Help Desk, my coworker, our boss and our boss's boss, all wanting to know where the DVD is.
"She says she can't find it."
"She can't fi...you CAN'T MISS IT. It's on the keyboard."
"She says it's not there. She logged in fine, and went to put it in and can't find it."
"...YOU HAVE TO MOVE IT OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY TO START TYPING!"
Finally, after the third phone call from this VP's admin assistant to the Help Desk, I start getting paranoid that I put the DVD in the wrong box, or even worse swapped the FedEx labels (I sent someone else's machine back yesterday as well).
Upon arrival, I go to the Help Desk and have them get her and her assistant on the phone.
Me: Okay, I need you to look at the laptop for me; I want to make absolutely sure you got the right computer back. Look at the model number in the upper left; does it say D620 or D630?
Assistant: Uh... um... I don't see anything.
Me: *sigh* Make sure the lid is open and you're staring at the screen and keyboard and it's in the up--
VP: It says Dell on the bottom, that's all.
Me: No, that's a desktop monitor. Do you have the laptop in front of you?
VP: Oh, one second; let me go into my office.
Me: *DIEDIEDIE*
Ass: Okay, we're in her office.
Me: Okay, now open the laptop and--
Ass: Do we have to take it off the docking station?
Me: *light bulb* Just open the lid.
VP: Oh, there it is!
Ass: Ohhh, I thought you meant you attached it to her extra keyboard!
Help Desk: *falls out of chair, scrambles for Mute button*
Yes. Yes, you stupid twit. I flew from Dallas to Boca Raton overnight, ninja'd my way into her office and MOTHER FUCKING DUCT TAPED THE DVD TO THE KEYBOARD ON HER DESK.
This morning I'm stuck in traffic due to a semi and a city bus deciding that the intersection of two major freeways was a good place to channel Carmageddon 2. My Blackberry starts blowing up with emails and phone calls from the Help Desk, my coworker, our boss and our boss's boss, all wanting to know where the DVD is.
"She says she can't find it."
"She can't fi...you CAN'T MISS IT. It's on the keyboard."
"She says it's not there. She logged in fine, and went to put it in and can't find it."
"...YOU HAVE TO MOVE IT OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY TO START TYPING!"
Finally, after the third phone call from this VP's admin assistant to the Help Desk, I start getting paranoid that I put the DVD in the wrong box, or even worse swapped the FedEx labels (I sent someone else's machine back yesterday as well).
Upon arrival, I go to the Help Desk and have them get her and her assistant on the phone.
Me: Okay, I need you to look at the laptop for me; I want to make absolutely sure you got the right computer back. Look at the model number in the upper left; does it say D620 or D630?
Assistant: Uh... um... I don't see anything.
Me: *sigh* Make sure the lid is open and you're staring at the screen and keyboard and it's in the up--
VP: It says Dell on the bottom, that's all.
Me: No, that's a desktop monitor. Do you have the laptop in front of you?
VP: Oh, one second; let me go into my office.
Me: *DIEDIEDIE*
Ass: Okay, we're in her office.
Me: Okay, now open the laptop and--
Ass: Do we have to take it off the docking station?
Me: *light bulb* Just open the lid.
VP: Oh, there it is!
Ass: Ohhh, I thought you meant you attached it to her extra keyboard!
Help Desk: *falls out of chair, scrambles for Mute button*
Yes. Yes, you stupid twit. I flew from Dallas to Boca Raton overnight, ninja'd my way into her office and MOTHER FUCKING DUCT TAPED THE DVD TO THE KEYBOARD ON HER DESK.
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Date: 2008-09-10 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 08:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 08:34 pm (UTC)Apparently, when I dropped the laptop off - which I don't usually do, those lazy shits can come get it themselves - I carefully explained to THREE of his fucking secretaries that he would need to log on to the network ON CAMPUS so that the computer and network would recognize him and automatically set up his permissions on the computer as well as the exchange server for his Outlook. I even was nice enough to show them where the fucking network cables that are on every goddamn desk since we have VOIP phones so that he could plug his laptop in with minimal hassle.
This process of plugging in a network cable and typing in a password is, however, too complicated for the Vice-President of a college. So, now I have a 3:00pm appointment to hold his hand. I'm sure that by 3:15, I'll be wiping the drool from his chin, too.
Update: This is why they don't arm technicians.
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Date: 2008-09-10 08:42 pm (UTC)This made me giggle like whoa, particularly your use of "ninja'd".
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Date: 2008-09-10 08:49 pm (UTC)And she's in Boca? That's 3/4ths of the problem right there.
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Date: 2008-09-10 09:08 pm (UTC)*headdesk* where do they get these MORONS???
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Date: 2008-09-10 11:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-11 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-11 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-11 01:04 am (UTC)But seriously, I've been on the lookout for a pic of a fox with its paws on its muzzle like it was trying to hide behind them--I've got a nice 'Arrgh!' picture, a sleepy fox, and a 'yeah, yeah' one, but I need a good head-desk/facepalm one. :-)
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Date: 2008-09-11 03:29 am (UTC)yeah, keep looking... I get a lot of material from ratties community here on lj, maybe there's a fox-fancier's community?
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Date: 2008-09-10 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-10 11:54 pm (UTC)Classic example of why stupid should hurt.
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Date: 2008-09-11 02:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-11 02:48 am (UTC)Reminds me of the customer I've had call in four different times complaining that his computer won't boot on the docking station. Two of the four times, it took me three minutes to realize that his monitor was turned off. After those two lessons, I've learned to always check the monitor first with him, as this call repeats itself about once a month.
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Date: 2008-09-11 05:10 pm (UTC)I weep.
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Date: 2008-09-12 05:07 pm (UTC)WOW! You are brilliant! So fucking talented! I wanna grow up and be Just. Like. You!!!eleventyone!
::bows before the master::
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Date: 2008-09-12 08:08 pm (UTC)