Rediscovered USB sticks are like a window into the past

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Enough time has passed that even the guilty parties probably won't recognise themselves in these logs, so perhaps they can safely be shared. (If not, meh. I don't work there anymore.)


[1CampusTech2] hey
[HD5] Hey
[1CampusTech2] i was up in the admin block today
[HD5] No! I don't believe it!@
[1CampusTech2] shut up and listen
[1CampusTech2] i was auditing pcs and guess what [Professor A]'s intern has on his? a 200mb folder of porn
[HD5] Uh-oh
[HD5] Goodbye intern.
[HD5] Wast here anything good on [Professor A]s PC?
[1CampusTech2] so i cleaned it out, scanned for spyware and told him I wasn't gonig to report it this time but it better
[1CampusTech2] not ha[ppen again
[HD5] you're the peoples hero, man.
[1CampusTech2] and he said, that's not good enough.,
[1CampusTech2] and I said, what?
[HD5] Clever one, is he? :)
[1CampusTech2] then he said, i want all those pictures back.
[1CampusTech2] and i said, what?
[HD5] A moron says what?
[1CampusTech2] adn THEN he said, i have permission from [Professor A] to use that pc after hours.
[1CampusTech2] and i said, for porn?
[1CampusTech2] and then h
[HD5] The internet is for porn
[1CampusTech2] e siad, I don't answer to you.
[HD5] Goodbye intern :)
[1CampusTech2] so i told him that if he logs a request then the network manager and his four asistants can talk to the data
[1CampusTech2] warehouse managr and all of his team andmaybe they can pull the files from a backup.
[1CampusTech2] but only if his supervisor and my supervisor and probaly their supervisors sign it off first
[HD5] Hey boss I want my pooooooorn
[1CampusTech2] and he says, i'm going to complain about you to your manager and [Professor A] will back me up.
[1CampusTech2] so i tol;d hi m
[HD5] What did you tell him?
[1CampusTech2] i told him to check with [Professor A] first, because the only reason he needed an intern in the firsmt
[1CampusTech2] place is [Professor B] got fired for emailing porn to himself at home! :-)
[HD5] Score!
[HD5] :)
[HD5] It was in the papers
[1CampusTech2] i know , we kept a cutting
[1CampusTech2] i'm going to slide a photocopy under his door tomorrow


[1CampusTech2] so [secretary A]'s hearing was today
[HD5] How did it go?
[1CampusTech2] they gacve her a warning
[HD5] really? Ithought they were going to walk her
[1CampusTech2] well she brought a copy of the conduct agreement with her
[1CampusTech2] and showed them that it only said no downloading porn
[HD5] think it still counts if you bring it from home.
[1CampusTech2] not if their your holiday photos!
[HD5] your'e not serious
[1CampusTech2] dude, she's IN THAT PORN
[HD5] lol
[HD5] OH MY GOD
[HD5] I CAN'T BREATH
[HD5] LOL!
[1CampusTech2] she looks so proud of herself


[HD5] [secretary B] called again.
[1CampusTech4] i don't wnat to hear it
[HD5] She wants to know when you're goignt o fix her phone.
[1CampusTech4] i want to what i'm supposed to fix
[1CampusTech4] every time theres a problem all she says is its broken
[1CampusTech4] i dont know if i need to go to the pbx room or teh hub room or her office
[HD5] I called her, but she says that's our problem not hers.
[1CampusTech4] well
[1CampusTech4] if its my problem it can wait
[1CampusTech4] im dedicated like that


[HD5] [secretary B] called about her phone.
[1CampusTech2] imagine my surprise.
[HD5] She wants to knowwhat priority we gave her job.
[1CampusTech2] did she say what's wrong with the phone?
[HD5] She says it's our problem not hers.
[1CampusTech2] there's 5 official prioritys
[1CampusTech2] top is mission critical
[1CampusTech2] next is high.
[HD5] I know
[1CampusTech2] next is standard
[1CampusTech2] next is long-term
[1CampusTech2] and last is tba
[HD5] I know
[1CampusTech2] after that is the unofficial priority
[1CampusTech2] the oink oink flap flap priority
[HD5] lol
[1CampusTech2] and all my little piggies will have flown away before i fix her phone.


[1CampusTech3] what is iot with [Soylent Corporation] staff and porn?
[HD5] You tell me.
[1CampusTech3] one of the overnighters has bee n using the pc in the childrends room to jerk
[1CampusTech3] off to porn at night.
[HD5] Cripes
[HD5] It wasn't child porn was it?
[1CampusTech3] No
[1CampusTech3] girl/girl stuff
[1CampusTech3] but the CHILDRENS ROOM ffs
[HD5] Going to escalate]?
[1CampusTech3] don't know who it is
[1CampusTech3] hes using the overnight common account
[HD5] Common accounts aren't suppose dto have internet access.
[1CampusTech3] I KNOW
[1CampusTech3] and this is why
[HD5] Need me to dc it?
[1CampusTech3] wait til networks give us the proxy log for latst night
[HD5] The childrens room is the one with the posters the kids painted, right?
[1CampusTech3] yeah
[HD5] What kind of weirdo whips it out in front of Professor Plum and his five fruit friends?
[1CampusTech3] idk
[HD5] Poor Professor Plum
[HD5] , forced to witness sights not meant for mortal eyes.
[1CampusTech3] (:
[1CampusTech3] hes got this kinda haunted look now .


[1CampusTech3] cc any more jobs from [Temp A] to the dispatch maanger
[HD5] Problem?
[1CampusTech3] that mouse fault she booked this morning
[1CampusTech3] she wanted me to change the battry for her
[HD5] Mouse battery?
[1CampusTech3] wireless mouse
[HD5] Oh.
[HD5] Why couldn't seh do it herself?
[1CampusTech3] i asked her that. she waved her hands and me
[1CampusTech3] at me
[1CampusTech3] and said I JUST PUT MY NAILS ON
[1CampusTech3] stupid


[1CampusTech2] there won't be any more panic jobs from [Professor C]'s office.
[HD5] Oh THANK GOD.
[HD5] Are they finally making [Personal Assistant A] do that training course?
[1CampusTech2] no
[1CampusTech2] they hired a temp to work night sfixing the mistaks she makes during the day.
[HD5] [Professor C]'s office is its own fucked up incestuous little world, isn't it?
[1CampusTech2] yep

Comments

[ulnagar.livejournal.com]

OMG, that is frickin' hilarious! I'm going to have to request an "oink oink flap flap" priority for work. I can already think of some of the jobs that need it!

[jecook]

Same here.

[gotica.livejournal.com]

much lols to be had.
Top Shelf to you ;)

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

Oi, that's feckin great stuff there.

I wish we'd used chat at some of my old employers, some great conversations to be had...

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

lovely

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

bwahahahaah

[brotherflounder]

Those are great!

[confectionqueen.livejournal.com]

[1CampusTech2] they hired a temp to work night sfixing the mistaks she makes during the day.

WHAT. There is no logic.

[sigurther.livejournal.com]

That's it, I quit. This world is too stupid for me to exist in.

YOU WON WORLD. YOU WON STUPID PEOPLE.

*gunheadbangdead*

[awarrenfells.livejournal.com]

Stop the planet... I wanna get off O_O

[ravan.livejournal.com]

There is if her real job is NOT secretarial work, but "emotional support"... :-O

[agmlego.livejournal.com]

I do believe, good fellow traveler, that you have just won yourself an Internet. Enjoy!

--
"Memento Mori Ergo Carpe Diem"

[shirenomad]

*dies laughing at poor haunted Professor Plum*

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

This totally kicks ass.