The trouble with locks...

[ulnagar.livejournal.com]

This post reminded me of my own experiences with someone's grand idea of preventing theft.

I work for a tertiary education institute, spread out over nearly half the state. Our classrooms are maintained by us, but are actually the property of the relevent campus. Some of the campuses thought to put in place security measures to prevent theft of equipment. That in itself isn't neccessarily a bad idea, but what they chose just makes my head spin.

It's called a "lock-down pad", and that is basically what it is. Two metal plates, with interlocking channels. The channels hold rods which are then locked in place on the outer plate with a key. The bottom plate is secured to the underside of the computer, while the bottom plate is secured to the desk. I have no idea what they used to "secure" the plates to the desk, but short of absolutely demolishing the desks, they will not come off. The plates also have a loop for a notebook-style cable lock so you can secure the monitor as well.

Because the classrooms are "owned" by the campuses, they keep the keys for these "lock-down pads". With up to 4 years in the rotation cycle of computers, they don't need to pull out the keys very often. In fact, when I came to replace 3 classrooms of computers (16 computers per classroom), they had no idea where the keys where, or where they could find them.

What makes it even scarier is that each pad has two locks, and different keys. We had to try and find ninety-six different keys and match them to the locks they went with. In the end, we still had a number of locks that we couldn't get off and had to physically drill through them to remove them.

Needless to say, when I replaced the computers, I did not lock them down again. However, since it's just about physically impossible to remove the pads from the desk without destroying it, the computers still sit on top of the pads.

Oh, and did I mention that the positioned the pads too far back on the desk to be able to actually reach behind and connect any cables? If you're ethernet cable fell out, you'd have to get a very small child with very small hands in there to reconnect it.

*brain explodes*

Comments

[awarrenfells.livejournal.com]

This is why I firmly believe anyone that has to design or engineer ANYTHING should be made to work on it first before anyone else... then they may be prompted to change the design.

Worked on airplanes years ago, and I grew to hate engineers....

I quickly understood why I was volunteered (more like voluntold) to work in the tail sections of airplanes we had to reconfigure.... I was the only one that would fit between the oxygen tank and the storm scope. I guess they thought no one would ever have to do any work back there :P

Not necessarily a 'tekkie' tale, but I know the pain nonetheless. :)

[kahoko007.livejournal.com]

IAWTC

I work on cars a lot as my hobby, and I think that anyone who designs the engine compartment setup of a vehicle should be made to at least change the oil in the car before it's sold.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Ever work on A4 VW's? The Jetta/Golf/Bora isn't *too* bad, but the New Beetle can be royal pain. Technically, in order to remove the battery, you are supposed to loosen the power steering pump and move it out of the way.. then remove the bolts holding the battery splash guard thingy, then the bolt holding the battery, then slide it sideways and lift out (because the fender comes over the top of the battery).

However, most folks have broken most of that crap, or just not reattached it, so the pump is now mounted by 1 bolt instead of 2, so the stupid plastic splash guard thing just sits in there, and so you pull all that crap out, then remove the battery bolt, then make sure that the caps are on the wells tightly so you don't get battery acid on you, then sort of tilt it sideways and pull it out.

In other engines, you have to get at the filter from underneath, which means you have to drop the skid plate to get to it. The TDI engine, which I have in my Golf, is much nicer - filter is right front and center, next to the dip stick. Much easier to deal with.

[samldanach.livejournal.com]

I had a similar experience trying to change the headlight in our New Beetle. I mean, I'd changed headlights before. But, I could not figure out how to do it. So, I took it into a Jiffy Lube. The mechanic looked at me with that look. You know the one. "This pathetic excuse for a man, who can't even do the most basic maintenance on his car. He's lucky he knows where the key goes!"

Fifteen minutes later, he'd given up, too. After consulting with two other mechanics, the latter of which told him that Jiffy Lube doesn't do Beetle headlights.

I had to take it to the dealership. Where it was, literally, an hour-long process for them to change out both headlights (I went ahead and had them do both, as I didn't want to go through this again!).

I loved that car. But, damn, it was different experience from trying to maintain an old Beetle!

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Actually, that isn't so bad once you get the hang of it.. My wife's NB is a '98, so not only does it have the normal electrical eccentricities of a VW, it also is the first year they did it, so it is even more quirky. Every few years, her headlights start to randomly not work. You can bang it to make it come back on, but eventually you just buy a new bulb because it's easier.

Anyway, you pop the hood, then release the latch on the headlight housing. Slide them out, remove the end cap. Change bulbs. Slide back in, making sure the nubs line up with the channels. Close latch. Done. Takes about 20 mins to do both, once you get proficient at it. :-)

[kahoko007.livejournal.com]

I haven't worked on any VW's, actually. I mostly stick with vintage Mustangs and other, newer Fords, Lincolns, and Mercurys. Lemme just say, the worst car I ever had to deal with was and old (c. 1970) Dodge pickup truck. A friend of mine asked me for help, because he needed to replace a spark plug.

Well, in order to get your hands anywhere near the engine block, you have to remove the radiator and all of its connecting lines. That's not too terrible for a tiny little truck, right? Wrong. Upon removing the radiator to see the block, I discovered that the plugs were on the underside of the block. WTF? Thinks I. Sure enough, you can't get to them from underneath either thanks to so many criss-crossing wires and lines that I didn't know which was which. We ended up literally having to lift the engine block out of the car so that I could reach under it to change the plug.

He promptly sold the truck.

[mavikfelna.livejournal.com]

Yes, we've discovered the same principle of late.

The Neurology department got a alot of money to move into a new building. They did not, however, consult IT in any of this. Come to find out, the printer they choose does not work with the back end printing solution we're tied to so we've had to order 40 new printers.

The problem, they built the cabnets to house the printers to EXACTLY the same specs as the prints they were going to use. They of course do not fit the printers we are replacing them with.

--Mav

[gholam.livejournal.com]

But, but, but... electronic equipments needs WIRES to function? Who'da thunk it?

[wibbble]

The wires are just there to distract you from how it really works: MAGIC.

That's why they get pissed off when it takes more than 14 seconds to solve any problem, no matter what it is. All we really need to do is just refuel the magic. Duh. We just stall because we like the sense of power we get.

[kallell.livejournal.com]

machines run on smoke

but once the smoke gets out the machine doesnt wok anymore

[hiroe.livejournal.com]

The smoke comes shipped in powder form, which contains the magic that makes the device work. When the magic fails, the powder turns into smoke, alerting the user that it's time to repack the machine.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

We had a similar issue, so we numbered each lock and key so we knew which went to which.

Oh, and ours was a braided steel cable which went through the desk and a screw in the back of the case. Basically, it was a screw with a collar, so you would replace one of the case screws with this, so you couldn't get the side panel off without removing the screw.. which had a collar around it.. through which a braided steel cable passed, keeping access to the screw blocked off, and securing it to the table, which had a hole drilled in it. The use of the cable gave you enough flex to be able to move it all around, which was nice.

Sure, you can get it with bolt cutters or a dremel tool, but let's be honest - it's not that hard to get through the lock at that point either.....

[revchris.livejournal.com]

Years ago, I heard from campus police that one of the computer labs had been broken into, and that nothing was stolen. They eventually caught the people involved, who confessed to not taking anything because the computers were all on those pads (yes, I recognize the pads of which you speak).

The pads were attached to the computers, but hadn't been anchored to the desk yet, and upon seeing that they were there, the thieves didn't even bother checking, they just left.

To remove those pads, which are mounted with a full-coverage sheet of foamcore adhesive, the manufacturer recommends heating the anchor plate (they recommend a heat gun, we use a propane torch), and then peeling the anchor plate off of the table, one segment at a time. All in all, it's a pain, and the anchor plates are non-recoverable, so you have to buy a new anchor plate when you move a computer.

We've had much better luck using a hot wire to slice through the adhesive, but you have to poke it though the adhesive first, as there are pins in the corners to make the process difficult. Then you cover the adhesive residue with rubber cement, and have a student hourly work on cleaning it off the table.