(no subject)

[mynameisnotreal.livejournal.com]

"Good Afternoon, this is BuggStompers!"
"Hi Simon, it's $customername."
(Oh god, not you, you short-bus riding pain in my ass)
"Hello $customername, how can I help you?"
"Well, I keep getting this pop up whenever I turn on the computer. It's really bugging me. I want it gone."
(shivers)
"Okay, tell me what it looks like."
*user reads off, verbatim, the entire window of the registration screen from AVG Anti Virus, even when I tell him, several times, that I know what it is now*
I tell him that the trial period is up and he needs to register it now, just like I told him when I installed it for him 59 days ago. I also tell him that no, I won't get rid of the program as that is his anti virus. Virus bad. No turn off scanner.
"I did!" he says "several times! I clicked on the box and nothing happens."
"Okay... What did the email say that you got the authorization code from?"
"There is an email? Where would that be?"
Oh god...

I'm sure you've all had these yobs before. You know the drill.

Some highlights though:

"Click on 'file' and open a new window. It will be blank."
"No! It's not blank! It's full of words!
"Huh?"
"It's full of words! You said it would be blank! It says 'You've opened a new tab, with tabs you can'..."
*interrupting* "Yeah, I get the idea. Okay. Now go to the site where you get your email."
"What!? How do I do that!?"
"In the address bar, enter the address of your site."
"You mean put my email address in this line?"
*exasperated*
"No... The. Name. Of the. Website. You. Get. Your. Email. FROM."
"So, I put my email address in that bar?"
*my lunch pays for his crimes* *smashy sandwich, smashy*

Some people should be banned from using computers.

Comments

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Some people should be stabbed in the neck with a pen. But maybe that's just me. = )

[maxm.livejournal.com]

*unnecessary tracheotomy'd!*

[tpajaz.livejournal.com]

- the registration screen from AVG Anti Virus,

- I installed it for him 59 days ago

Yes, the user doth require murderousness.. but didn't you set yourself up for the problem by not installing the free version?

[mynameisnotreal.livejournal.com]

It's free in that after 60 days you need to register. You just give them an email addy and they send you the authorization code which lasts for another year. I gave him detailed instructions on how to do this. I won't use my email, since it's his computer.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like the woman I talked to yesterday who when I asked her what operating system she was using swore blind it was Microsoft Office. *stab*

[mynameisnotreal.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain...

[emsporter.livejournal.com]

I fairly frequently get calls saying "the microsoft isn't working"*. Oh boy, do I ever love those.

*From fish who really, truly have no idea how true that comment is, of course.

[jasoncrowley.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, when none are looking, I secretly kiss my new swipecard, usually when I realize I'm not on the phones anymore.

The doctors told me that it wasn't good for my metabolism to eat silk ties, so I got out.

[bitchtude.livejournal.com]

Oh how I have been in that hell before. I have seriously wanted to tell people to box up their computer and store it in the garage or take it back cause they're just too stupid to own one.