tentacle support

[pixilated-serra.livejournal.com]

dear user

if you would like to RDP into your laptop from home you can't use the laptop from home at the same time. unfortunately we don't have MAGIC running on our network.

love,
tentacle support.



also wondering: what sort of fancy titles have you people proclaimed for yourselves to indicate "angry little techie person locked in the server room / networking godness / helpdesk extraordinaire" etc?

they won't let me use TENTACLE SUPPORT on my business cards, so i'm looking for a new title.

Comments

[ianhess.livejournal.com]

I guess customer placation engineer is out?

[glitteringlynx.livejournal.com]

It's PC and professional-sounding. Me likes!

[evilbutcute.livejournal.com]

I like that one.

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Harry Whodunnit
Cerebral Surrogate
Department of Neural Prosthetics

[kostika.livejournal.com]

In my last job my email signature had IT Monkey as my title for nearly 2 years before one of the CEOs finally noticed.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

I use this one quite a bit.

Technical Ninja

[areolamay.livejournal.com]

I got away with it.
Well, until they caught me.
9 months later.

LOL

[heinousbitca.livejournal.com]

i'm "support overlord."

[japester.livejournal.com]

what? no allowance for references to His Noodly Appendage.

awwwww dang.

[caerleon.livejournal.com]

I've always been a "General Specialist"..

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

Uber IT
IT Overlord
Chief of all I see


If I'm sending a email to one of my IT brethren I've been known to change my title.

[jecook]

My official title at $WORK "system Specialist". For my 'official' messages that pertain to notification messages to the small userbase on sub-ether.net, it's 'System Administrator'. I've been known to put in different stuff though, especially if I'm sending it to a smaller set of people who know my sense of humor:

• IT Janitor (true story- at my last place, I had to take a side job as a janitor at a church to make ends meet)


• IT Marine (mostly because if I get sent in to fix it, I damn well fix it and own the process from there in.)


• System mangler (usually if I'm getting ready to take down a machine for hardware maintenance)


• BOFH (Obvious)


• PFY - usually if there's someone above me handling stuff

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

I've had business cards with 'Computer Ninja' before. I always wanted 'Queen Tech-Bitch', though.

[jennielf.livejournal.com]

hmmmm....i wonder if my boss would let me get away with that... :D

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

I have a sign above my desk that simply says:
"I Void Warranties"

True story.

I prefer "Company Bitch" as a working title.

lurker

[fluffydragon.livejournal.com]

I'm not in IT but my hubby is. I get all kinds of stories from both him and my dad (he works for Lenovo)

Hubby's been using the title "Cat Herder" on his business cards and resumes for his current job.

He also works for an office owned by a porn company, and does some of their programming support.

::waits for it::

Re: lurker

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Pussy Wrangler?

I use Cat Herder too...

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I ought to make a sign like that! (I've already got one of the Make leathermen that say 'warranty voider' on them.)

[codecattx.livejournal.com]

My unofficial title at work is "Management's Bitch" - because what I do nowdays really does not match my job description any more - well except for the "special projects and additional duties as assigned" phrase.

My official title is simply Systems Engineer.

Now at the place where I volunteer? I'm their whole IT department, and there, my job title is BOFH.

And I even get emails directed to bofh as an alias.

*evil grin*

[ateji.livejournal.com]

I go with "Angry Editor of Doom" a lot, usually when fixing others' mistakes. ;)

[ohmyhead.livejournal.com]

For me...Tentacle Support = Blue Girl Action. :D

[random-c.livejournal.com]

When they gave me an assistant I asked if I could be Queen of Disks and the assistant Disk Minion, but they didn't like that and said we had to be Senior/Junior Master Disk Engineer. I think that makes it sound like we sit about building things with them, which is always a bit tempting with the dead ones...

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

I've taken the title :

Senior ISP support technician.

I figure after 8 years in the trenches adding Senior to my title was good enough.

[meitemark.livejournal.com]

"Black magic support technician; after all, most hardware runs a little bit better with the blod of endusers"

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

Solution Finder.

[delta_mike]

MacGyver, I think, was once described as a "Professional Troubleshooter".

[mikelmotorcycle.livejournal.com]

sanitation engineer

[sdaemon.livejournal.com]

I haven't really given myself a title yet, but I've been hoping to aspire to one from Dune for forever:

"Thufir Hawat, Master of Assassins"

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Titles I've used [until told to stop it]:
Head Honcho Cat herder
Ships McGyver.
Technomage. [and Technomancer ]
Silicon shaman [I talk to dead computers]
Quantum Cat [I was quality control actually]
Bastard Techie Engineer.
Cheif Framis-Drive Wrangler.
NetWork Untangler.
Knight Erratic
Paladin of Platters.
Customer Servicing Agent
Agent of Chaos
Network Karma-Cop.

[blueashke.livejournal.com]

I'll admit to being predominantly a lurker, but around here I'm the Excel Goddess and Professional Vampire.

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

I'm currently trying out ETH (Emergency Technological Hologram).

[pixilated-serra.livejournal.com]

when you say hologram i think zordon from power rangers, and i think that is so much awesome

[zzyzx.livejournal.com]

Please state the nature of the self-induced emergency.

[emsporter.livejournal.com]

THis is something of a sidenote to your original point, but has anyone else noticed that the shittier the job, the more grandiose the job title?

[syberghost.livejournal.com]

My best rejected idea was "SysGod" and of course "Senior SysGod".

Of course, if you're worried about turnover, take the Dilbert suggestion and use "Convicted Felon". It really screws up their resumes, they can never leave.