we're in the web-hosting game

[lavabeast.livejournal.com]

Absolutely PRICELESS conversation between my supervisor and a rep. from another company on the phone. Of course, I only got my super's side:

Hey, I'm calling on behalf of a mutual client. They are using your merchant services, and our hosting services. They say our Apache version is not high enough to support your merchant services. What version of Apache do you need?

(pause)

No. I'm not a client. I am calling on behalf of a client. I dont have a merchant ID or password. I'm just dealing with the hardware.

(pause)

No, hardware. I am not the client. I am not their web designer. I just deal with the hardware, the computers. Our current version of Apache is not compatible with your merchant services. What version of Apache is the minimum requirement?

(pause)

Uh, okay. I dont really see how it's a security risk. I'm not asking for any account information. I dont care about their account, I dont need the merchant ID or password. I just need to know about the hardware.

So then they put him on hold forever, and then a 'tier 3' representative gets back to him and is just like "LOL I DONT KNOW WHAT APACHE IS. I CANT GIVE YOU THAT INFO. BYE".

You dont know what Apache is, when you're providing merchant services that require a certain version of it?

Comments

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Call their sales line.

[sdaemon.livejournal.com]

/agree

I've found it a lot easier to cut through bull sometimes by going straight to the sales weasels, especially with regards to ISP-level issues. I feel a little guilty about it every time, though. I really hate it when my own sales weasels come and breathe down my neck about some client who's calling THEM directly about some freaking issue.

[mouser.livejournal.com]

No guilt this time, though. He TRIED the correct route.

[canray.livejournal.com]

LOL I DONT KNOW WHAT APACHE IS.

The bloody big Indian (Sorry, First Nations Person) who is going to kick your ass if you don't do your bloody job! ;-P

[kallell.livejournal.com]

First Nations?
That's a new one.

[donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com]

It's a Canadian thing.

[kallell.livejournal.com]

ahh, ok i will buy that for a nickel

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Better be a Canadian nickle!

[kallell.livejournal.com]

i was thinking buffalo

[kallell.livejournal.com]

oh, another thing
*ganks icon*

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Fuck, I get that all the time with moronic helpdesks when I try to ring them to tell them that their mail won't be delivered to our organisation because of their stupid config. No PTR records pointing to a REAL hostname, for example.

"Can you read the error message you get when your email bounces?"
"No, I am the mail admin of the destination server. I can read the relevant log entries to you?"
"Um, I need to have the copy of the bounce message you're getting."
"I am the one bouncing your message, and it's because my server doesn't like blah."
"So what does the bounce message say?"
"I don't know because I don't have the bounce message. My server is REJECTING your mail with this notice, blah."
"I'm afraid we can't escalate this to our mail admins without the bounce message, so we have the correct information. And no, we can't get them to contact you either, as you are not one of our customers."

Frankly, then, I don't give a fuck if they can't send us mail.

[piepants.livejournal.com]

I can't tell if you spoke to a script monkey or a moron (what, they can't be both?)

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

I remember once, one of my execs was waiting for a file emailed by an outside party. He got a .lnk file instead, and asked me to call said party to correct the situation. I wish I could say that in a dazzling display of techittude, I was able to get the file sent. Sadly, what I got was a lecture from outside party's ExecSec on how said file should open for me when it opened for her. FROM THE ICON ON HER BLODDY DESKTOP. Twit.

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I was one of the ones doing this.

Why?

Because we weren't allowed to. I could have given you the info you needed, but I would have gotten fired for talking to someone who wasn't our customer.

Of course, had I taken the call from the customer, I would have escalated the call, and the Comm Dept. would have handled it.