Hey, douche- yes, you, with the cable-ties.

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

That's right, Douchebag McTwatNozzle. I'm talking to you. PUT. THE FUCKING. CABLE TIES. DOWN.

Don't make me fucking come over there.

Yes, that's right, I'm talking to you. The shithead who produced a giant bag of VGA cables and DVI-VGA adapters (and, inexplicably, VGA-DVI adapters) from who fucking knows where so you could plug them into every fucking monitor onsite that had both DVI and VGA jacks onboard - and then haphazardly plugged as many DVI and VGA cables as you possibly could into a random selection of every jack you could find on each computer, then just left the rest to dangle free. THEN PUT A CABLE TIE TIGHTENED DOWN SO FAR AS TO LEAVE SCARS IN THE CABLES, EVERY FUCKING THREE INCHES, ALL THE WAY DOWN the clusterfuck you created. All without so much as turning the machines on to see, hey, do these fucking things even light up. Protip: they don't.

Yeah, you. No, there's nobody standing behind you, and if there was, they sure as shit wouldn't have pulled the same retarded shit you just spent the last three hours of your life pulling.

Seriously. I WILL KILL YOU.

Comments

[taleya.livejournal.com]

You have a bag of cable ties, and One Asshat.

The possibilities are deliciously endless :D


(on a side note, we learned to hide the cable ties from one TL as he would inevitably tie himself to something, cutting off circulation and resulting in a manhunt for sharp scissors and a delicate touch with alarming regularity. Half the time he wasn't even aware he was doing it when playing with them until his fingers went purple)

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

Very much LOL

[kenbrody.livejournal.com]

First time: Quick, get a pair of clippers!

Second time: Would someone get TL a pair of clippers again?

Third time: Hey, everyone, come look at this pretty shade of purple!

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Actually, given it was graveyard shift and we were all rather fond of the bong-addled hippie bastard it was more along the lines of:

*plaintive whine*"taleya..."
"Ah, shit. $TL's been in the cable ties again....Anyone know where the scissors are?"

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

hey, that's really special.

BOFH mode irrevocably on...

[spiker-uk.livejournal.com]

It's very tempting to take those self-same cableties and use them on his fingers until they scar. Well, cables have feelings too, y'know...

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your pain, and I share it to a degree (we just did a huge move, and the movers were asshats. Also, the desks were made by asshats) but I think I just broke something laughing.

[vortex.livejournal.com]

*Jaw Drops*

I noticed my jaw dropping further and further as I read on...

[jecook]

must be dropping in time to mine.

I used to have a fiery hatred for cable ties equaled only by the heart of the sun, because of asshats like that.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's time for a new job or a vacation. Before your vacation is a trip to your local psych ward. Them homicidal feelings can really put a "crimp" in your style.

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

I saw what you did right there. I LOL'd.

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

Was the intern bored? Or did someone play a trick on them...

[falnfenix]

zipties have ONE purpose, and ONLY one: keeping car parts attached when one feels like ghettorigging everything.


*coughs* ok, so i'm joking...but someone should educate that mofo, stat.

[dreamatdrew]

Actually, they also make for good handcuffs, in a pinch.....


*innocent whistle*

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

Allthough wrapping annoying salespeople in a partition is also fun.

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

oh, well PLAYED sir, well played...

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

I've become fond of the reusable hook and loop (aka velcro) cable ties. They're about $20 for 50, keep cables nice, don't pinch like cable ties, and you won't knick wires when you cut them off (because you un-velcro them).

Downside - the collect dust bunnies.