Tech Support Drinking Game, BETA 1

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

Edit: Finish the bottle if you receive numerous flames for posting the file in a proprietary format...

In honor of lordchaos for starting another tech support drinking game, I've compiled some of the best submissions into an Excel Spreadsheet.

So, here you go:

THE PRINTABLE TECH-SUPPORT DRINKING GAME. (Google Docs)

Comments

[rbos.livejournal.com]

You couldn't copy and paste it in plain text? :P

Also, look into "cutePDF", it's a PDF output printer driver, and free.

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

I uploaded it to google. I thought it would be easier to have it laid out a little bit more logically. *shrug*

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Actually, look into PDFCreator (http://www.pdfforge.org/), as it's free (freedom), not just free (beer).

[jill-idle.livejournal.com]

or use a Mac, where everything you can print is pdf'able.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

or use a Mac anything but Windows, where everything you can print is pdf'able.

Fixed that for you, since there is a CUPS virtual PDF printer for anything which uses CUPS, which is pretty much everything but Windows... This is, of course, why people who come over can automagically use our printers.. unless you use Windows. They you have to go find the driver and install it and point it at a server and...

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

... but no matter WHAT device you print to, you can't set a fucking print margin.

[rbos.livejournal.com]

good tip, thanks.

[gaymafiakingpin.livejournal.com]

You can install OpenOffice (http://www.openoffice.org) and use it to export to PDF.

[110billion.livejournal.com]

That's once you install the Compatibility Pack, open it in Office 03, save it as a regular .xls file. Then you can take it to OO. See my reply just below :)

[110billion.livejournal.com]

You can open it in Excel '03 with the Compatibility Pack (http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyId=941B3470-3AE9-4AEE-8F43-C6BB74CD1466&displaylang=en). I'll see if I can convert it to XL03 and then into OpenOffice to save it as a PDF.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Hahahhahahahahaha...

Engineered incompatibility (which they then "fix" with a "Compatibility Pack" to make you think they're adding value) is so funny. (http://www.vanwensveen.nl/rants/microsoft/IhateMS.html).

[110billion.livejournal.com]

It's hosted in pdf format (http://members.ii.net/~leavellana/drink.pdf). Took all of 10 half-arsed minutes to do. Please rehost, as I'm not leaving it up here for long.

[azurelunatic]

There's also Google Documents.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's great for sharing stuff like this. Or Zoho (better interface, IMO).

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

Thanks, went this route and edited the original entry

[vampireborg.livejournal.com]

File --> Save as --> File type --> Excel 2003

[110billion.livejournal.com]

Agreed, that'd have been so much easier. Why TF does MS have to go and screw a perfectly fine file format and create a new one with office 07?

[vampireborg.livejournal.com]

Because they're M$ and, well, 'nouf said. The MicroSquish guy who did our training went into orgasms about how it was all XML compliant, which is rad, but not when you have 5000 users who suddenly can not read each other's docs.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

XML compliant, which is rad,

Buzzword bingo, means nothing. Just as you take HTML and load it up w/ ActiveX doohickies that only IE can read, you can take XML and load it up with tons of stuff which only Office 2007 understands. Further, if you imply any type of obfuscation to this data (a simple XOR would do it), and include some basic crappy content management (which they have), if anyone tries to reverse engineer this format, you can claim that they are "circumventing a copy protection device", which is a felony under the US DMCA..

Microsoft - stopping people from working together since 1985 (initial release of Windows, where they kicked IBM in the nads vis a vis OS/2).

[gholam.livejournal.com]

Considering that the new format is fully documented, this comes across as baseless hatemongering. Microsoft uses a proprietary format, they're bad. Microsoft switches to an open format, they're worse.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

You mean the full documentation that even MS has acknowledged is not actually accurate?

Or maybe I should just fix your original statement:

Microsoft switches creates a new to an open format which they then try to establish as a standard, despite existing widely-used standards, they're worse.

And yeah, the are.

[gholam.livejournal.com]

Existing widely-used standards meaning what? ODF, which, so far, has a dozen differing implementations with different features incompatible with each other and minuscule install base for each? Or CDF, which is implemented by, oh let's see, nobody? And I guess this (http://b2xtranslator.sourceforge.net/) is a very subtle way of Microsoft trying to keep their formats as closed and proprietary as possible.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Existing widely-used standards meaning what? ODF, which, so far, has a dozen differing implementations with different features incompatible with each other and minuscule install base for each?

Funny.. I've never had a problem reading ODF in different apps... I don't know where this "incompatibility" of which you speak is...

And I guess this is a very subtle way of Microsoft trying to keep their formats as closed and proprietary as possible.

Yep. Yay! It converts from a binary proprietary MS format to an XML based proprietary MS format - a format which is held by some to be released under terms incompatible with the GPL (this is yet to be thoroughly dissected - these people could be wrong).

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Money. More specifically "to force people to buy Office 2007".

(1) Too many people figured out how to open the old one, creating competitors to Excel. By changing the format, these folks need to buy Office 2007, or wait for someone to figure out how to open the Office 2007 docs. Meanwhile, MS can claim "see how your open source software is crap? They can't even keep pace with technology". Never mind the fact that they are creating this incompatibility in the first place.

(2) Since all the folks with older versions of Office can't read the documents created by people with new versions of Office, they will be forced to upgrade as well.

So, it's all about selling Office and, by extension, Windows, which are MS's core markets - they lose money on pretty much everything else.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

I absolutely positively completely refuse to click on a random Excel doc from an internet stranger-type. PDF needs to ensue.

[110billion.livejournal.com]

http://community.livejournal.com/techsupport/1652612.html?thread=17084292#t17084292

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Surely plain text would be the way to go?

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

I uploaded it to google. I thought it would be easier to have it laid out a little bit more logically. *shrug*

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Bah, don't be a pansy!

Seriously, OpenOffice + !Windows = who cares? Unlike certain other word processors, OpenOffice treats these as files, not executable code.. So, the only way that someone could use it to hack your box is to buffer overflow OpenOffice (which means they'd have to know what build you're using) and then do something naughty...

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

And even so, I refuse to touch it. :)

[jerith.livejournal.com]

If nothing else, you can export to CSV or something. There's really no excuse for putting a nasty (and entirely unnecessary) proprietary file in a tech forum like this...

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

I uploaded it to google. I thought it would be easier to have it laid out a little bit more logically. *shrug*

[digitalraven]

Because I am an idiot, I've compiled some of the best submissions into a file in a worthless proprietary format that has no place in a tech-savvy forum, doubly so for information that can and should be saved as plaintext or another format that God's own text editor can read. I will now go die in a fire to save you all the hassle of dishing out appropriate painful retribution.

Fixed yer typo.

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

You win the internet.

[digitalraven]

That's two internets in two days. Soon I'll need another computer to hold them all.

[dr-atheist.livejournal.com]

OS X ftw, took MS's new format and opened it fine in Numbers, the only error was that you used a font I don't have. I don't have any web space right now, but can email you a pdf of it if you want.

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

I uploaded it to google. I thought it would be easier to have it laid out a little bit more logically. *shrug*

[jjjiii]

I wish to report a bug with this game. Every time I try to play it, I end up dying of alcohol poisoning after about an hour.

[black-spot.livejournal.com]

My mother calls floppies “tapes”. She was on ‘98 (not on net so reasonably ok – she only uses Word and plays Lemmings), now she got XP (still not on the net - thank goodness). Tomorrow I will have the joy of creating a filing system for her and explain what a back-up is – no, saving things directly onto floppies that have now corrupted was not making back-ups. I will also try to make a restore disc for her.

Wish me luck – I’m not a tech and have just drunk a bottle of wine in anticipation.