Awesome - I am it.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

This customer was a pain in the arse, and rude to boot. Email failing to function, internets are fine, customer running Norton. Obviously, it's time to uninstall Norton. Customer: "I'M NOT uninstalling Norton."

Ooookay, we'll reboot in safe mode. "Reboot, and start tapping F8." Customer: *taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap...*

Computer freezes on POST. Customer powers down PC, and PC refuses to power back up again. Refer to local consultant.

email problem solved. =)

Comments

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

One place I worked at years ago, I saw people deliberately crash computers so they could RTV.

That job was fucking awful.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

RTV?

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

Refer To Vendor. Gets 'em off the phone and cuts the call short, keeps the handle time down.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

ah, see, here handle time isn't one of our important metrics. first-call resolution is our first and primary metric.

so getting off the phone just makes you get phone calls. :)

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, that would be beautiful. Getting things working is far, far more satisfying when you're not spending the whole time worrying that you're taking more then ten minutes a call.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

I happen to average 10:30, or at least I did last month. It's just the way these things work out. I don't even look at my call time, except to complain to my coworkers how long this $_noun has been on the phone.

it's neat. :)

[jdotmi.livejournal.com]

Our tier 1 techs have First Call Closure AND Average Talk Time as primary metrics. ~_~ And their talk time goal? 8 minutes. o_O

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

><;;

Those metrics are generally mutually exclusive.

[jjjiii]

<sings>You've got the touch!

You've got the power!</sings>

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

mwahahahaha.

[jecook]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1sZLSO9va0

You are welcome! (MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!)

[jjjiii]

Was actually thinking more along the lines of...

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

Oh, Gods, Norton. The number of times I have had conversations along the following lines:

"Well, you're running Norton. That would explain why your PC is running so sluggishly"
"Really?"
"Yes, it's a real resource hog. There are free antivirus solutions that don't do that. Do you want me to uninstall it and put one of those on instead?"
"But ... but ... I paid for it!"

*sigh* OK, fine, you continue with a perfectly capable machine that's running like toffee for the sake of ... what ... £30?

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Did you do any research before you bought it?"
"No..."
"Did you ask any Techie friends about it before you bought it?"
"No..."
"Who did you talk to about it?"
"The Salesman."
"Who got a commission for selling that expensive software, with the extended service plan, right?"
"SON OF A..."
"Talk to Techs."

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

This is the reason that when I went shopping for new ADSL gear, I just phoned up the ISPs in my town and asked the techsupport "What's the model you've had the LEAST problems with?"

When 90% of them recommended the same thing, guess what I picked up? And funnily enough, I've never had a line problem, sync problem, settings issue, anything.

Don't talk to those who get a commission for selling things, talk to the people who have to fix them.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

these days a lot of TS is paid commission to sell crap too, but hopefully they'll sell you crap that works so that they don't have to deal with you calling back.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I've never encountered any local TS team trying to sell me anything. And it's not as if I'd be buying gear from an ISP anyway.

[floatingpencil.livejournal.com]

We are supposed to sell stuff. The thing is, we object (loudly and frequently) to this, to the point where they've totally failed to bring in any targets, and the commission is so crap it isn't worth the hassle anyway. So what happens is that sales say "Oh yes! The software will do that, for it is all-seeing and all-doing!" and we then say "Bollocks will it. Sales were lying."

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

This was a while back, while we were going from dialup to ADSL1. I ended up getting one of the Netcomm NB1300 variants.

Basically, I didn't necessarily want the biggest, funkiest router around. I wanted something which worked damn well with the quirks of the phone lines in that city and which a majority of the local TS groups knew of and were comfortable troubleshooting and repairing, should it become necessary.