What did it ACTUALLY say?

[mouser.livejournal.com]

My latest pet peeve - people that can't answer the following three questions coherently:

3) Why do you think it's not working? ("Wrong results" ONLY works if you have a CLUE what the RIGHT results are!)

2) What were you doing? (No, "Nothing" isn't valid.)

1) What was the ACTUAL error (not "I think it said...")

Comments

[merlin-t-wizard.livejournal.com]

Yep. Sometimes it seems like it's a game: how can I answer you question incorrectly. I finally came up with: "What does it or doesn't it do that makes you think that it's not working right?"

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the incredibly unhelpful answer .. usually in the form of "I tried that and it didn't work. Just fix it please, I don't have time for all these damn questions."

"Not working" means it's exhibiting only one of an almost infinite number of undesired behaviors, and doesn't specify which. It's a useful answer only it the person trying to help has an intimate knowledge of what behavior was expected. (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance still has about the best philosophical explanation of the whole "working"/"not working" concept, and it clearly describes how individual the concept is ..)

I find myself asking "What exactly is it doing at the moment?" a lot .. usually, if I get an honest and detailed enough answer to that, I can track down enough history of the behavior to figure out what's causing it .. but "honest" and "detailed" are both important parts of that story ..

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

Me: What was the error message you got?
Her: It said it didn't go through!
Me: ... The error message said, "It didn't go through"?
Her: Yes.
Me: You need to call Microsoft right away, and tell them Windows has begun making up its own error messages I'd like you to try that again for me, please.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I've often said that techsupport consists of finding new ways to ask "What makes you think that?" over and over again.

[pat-barron.livejournal.com]

My current favorite: "I got a message that said 'server' something, and then it said something else. What should I do?"

The real kicker: This came from one of the other sysadmins in my department...

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

My favourite is the wague answer to the what product/model they have. Like say calling up sony and saying "a tv" or calling hp and saying "a printer" to the question...

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

err vague... i'm not awake yet and it's lunchtime...

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

And when you ask them "What's wrong" and they answer "The internet isn't working", finding out after 30 minutes of excruciating step by step handholding that what they really meant is they cannot open up the picture their cousin sent them by email...