(no subject)

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

I made the mistake of being too friendly to customers. As a result, I got moved to taking escalations six weeks ago, on the grounds that the customers really seemed to like me. Needless to say, my callers have been infinitely more interesting.
We can call my most recent regular called Mr. Ram. Mr. Ram claims that we did a bench repair (which there is mysteriously no record of) for free for him months ago. Funny, he was way out of warranty, and there's no notes from a supervisor approving an out of warranty bench repair either. He claims we replaced the ram. He claims our service technicians managed to shove ram much too large for the slot into a ram slot, and as a result his computer "ran funny". He was not able to elaborate particularly well on the symptoms of "ran funny". He claims he took the notebook to the Geek Squad, where they showed him this horrible thing we'd suppossedly done. He also informed me that because it was running funny, he was afraid to use it, and he "couldn't give my daughter no schoolin'" on it for several months. He specifies that the ram had been bent, without breaking, in the ram slot. Of course, Mr. Ram is asking for compensation. In the form of a check.
Funny, I seem to remember seeing a very special person once attempt to shove the wrong type of ram into a slot. I also seem to remember it involving a substantial quantity of blood, and EMTs.
One of the first escalation calls I took at this company was from a man who was upset that our tech tier 1 members were too nice. Everyone knows that real computer geeks aren't friendly. They're snarky, mean, and condescending. He was sure if our representatives were nice, we obviously hadn't hired qualified people. Fortunately, I was able to find him a "real technician" who was willing to talk down to him.

Comments

[kostika.livejournal.com]

RAM does not bend. It injures.

They bitch when we're nice and they bitch when we're mean. And they wonder why we're mad as a pack of crazy badgers.

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

Yeah. He first said he was going to fax me proof of this, and now says he's emailing proof of the ram issue. I'm wondering what badly photoshopped thing I shall have in my inbox come Monday morning.

[kostika.livejournal.com]

I've injured myself putting RAM into slots they belong in.

You must share this proof. Please.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I want to see this proof, too. Forget RAM, I went to the ER because a case bent while I was installing some hardware, and I sliced my finger open on a jagged piece of case. Almost needed stitches.

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

ER for a cut finger? You pansy! In my day, we staunched the bleeding with a crimping tool and and shrinkwrapped the limb instead of stitches. And we were THANKFUL!

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

LUXURY! At least you had shrinkwrap! Our ER was a cardboard box in a mud puddle. And oh, to have had crimping tools and shrinkwrap! We had oily rags and a hammer, and if that wasn't good enough for ya, you could try staunching the wound in the mud!

And we LIKED IT!

[jecook]

Ah, yes, Gilette cases. That was the sole reason why I kept band-aids in my kit for a while.

'course, I probably should put them back in, especially when of or my clients went all ooky and called the EMTs* when I cut my finger clipping a bad end off a cable in order to crimp a new end on. The three that responded were alternatively Not Amused and annoyed at my request for a band aid.

* Our work has a very well equipped first aid station and employs certified EMTS as part of the security staff.

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

Sadly, while I can tell you all about said "evidence", I won't be able to post the actual receipt, photo, or whatever else he sends me. That would violate the company's blogging policy, which they have a nasty habit of firing people for. And my boss reads this forum. (Hi, Richard.)

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, I was able to find him a "real technician" who was willing to talk down to him.

I want that job!

(Actually, for a while, something like that was my job. Tech boss from three jobs ago used to send me to liaise with projects he wanted destroyed, mangled or hamstrung.)

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Considering what happens when some asks for technical advice here, maybe next time someone asks you to do a hatchet job you ought to pass along the URL...

[jill-idle.livejournal.com]

am I the only one who imagined a dominatrix hovering above him ordering him to drink from the toilet?

"Did I give you permission to look at me? Drink bitch! Drink!"

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Nah, it just annoys the community :)

Besides, it was years ago, on the other side of the country, and I'm trying my hand at non-TS careers in the interim.