This is not the Psychic Hardware Diangosis Network.

[laptop-mechanic.livejournal.com]

Cross posted from my normal LJ:


Dear $random_student:

A few thoughts:

• No, I cannot tell you what is wrong with your machine with any certainty at the check-in counter. If I could diagnose machines merely be laying hands upon them, I certainly would not be working here.  Unless you have a blatantly obvious problem (and you don't), anything I tell you at the check-in counter is at best an educated guess, and at worst a WAG. 
  
• Yes, I am fully aware that you need a machine to take your tests on. Yours will be fixed as quickly as possible. I explained this to you as nicely as possible, using small words even a 3 year old could have parsed without difficulty.  Calling afterwards to complain to the shop manager that you were not sufficently coddled after the fact was very poor form. But since I am a professional, the machine will get fixed on time anyway.

Comments

[ptomblin-lj.livejournal.com]

Don't you just want to tell these sort of people that if there *were* a way to jump the queue, it would be something more pleasant for you than "who whines the most".

[laptop-mechanic.livejournal.com]

Oh, certainly. I dont think that would go over well with the management tho. Officially anyway. Unofficially, they'd be laughing themselves silly.

[egearman.livejournal.com]

I can imagine that some sort of 'computer paladin' would be in high demand. Lay on hands to fix problems, remove virii 3/week. What would 'smite evil' translate as... hmmm....

Ok, enough geeking out, back to work.

[ptomblin-lj.livejournal.com]

"Smite evil" requires a physical component, a "+3 disk of Ubuntu".

[egearman.livejournal.com]

Or maybe it crossing the 'Intertubes' (yeah, heard that one recently) to smack malware writers.

[ateji.livejournal.com]

In similar vein...

A techie LJ friend of mine kept putting "cleric" rather than "clerk" on his résumé (fully by accident).

[kalifla.livejournal.com]

If I could diagnose machines merely be laying hands upon them, I certainly would not be working here.

"I COMMAND THA DEMONS TO COME OUT, IN THE NAME OF THA LAWD!"

[reynardo.livejournal.com]