From the lackeys (again)

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

One of the phone monkeys sent me this.. *shrug*

I have a 'paid' version of $OLD_UNSSPORTED_PRODUCT ( build ver . $VERSION )
To me, anyway, the ' built-in dictionary ' (of English U.S. , ONLY ) , well, this really sucks !
Are you taking America's side.......that THEY are the ONLY ones who speak 'perfect English' ?
I am Australian, an I am constantly being offended by this American 'attitude'.....that they alone are the best in the world....at everything .....that nobody is allowed to prosper 'without' their 'say-so'.
So, my 'request/enquiry' is this ..........
" Why is there NO 'alternative' dictionaries, included into your $OLD_UNSUPPORTED_PRODUCT !?! "
To cater for those of us who DO NOT 'speak' the 'Americanised' version of English..............and, please,include the DICTIONARIES equally 'required'....for ALL other LANGUAGES !?!
I would be not be 'displeased' , with this 'paid' product, otherwise, as it does everything else very nicely, for what I want of a $PROGRAM_GENRE program !

------------------------------------------


Dear Captain Australia,

I am so glad you e-mailed to remind us of how arrogant us Americans are. I find it ironic that you chose this medium to do so, considering you are running on AMERICAN technology. An American named Ray Tomlinson invented e-mail (http://itmanagement.earthweb.com/entdev/article.php/1408411). Regardless of where your computer was manufactured, Ted Hoff (Intel--and an American) invented the microprocessor. The Internet was a defense network invented by the NSA (edit: oops. I meant ARPA) (American) to link defense computers together. You use Windows, right? American.

I guess you could call..oops no you can't: Americans invented the Telephone. Courier Pidgin might be a possibility..Maybe.

So you see, yeah, we're arrogant because of assholes like you who constantly slam us for such stupid tripe as we didn't include a localized dictionary for your language. I guess when we discontinued that product line a couple years ago, our developers were too arrogant to compile and include a localized language version for every single language ever spoken in the software to avoid such conflicts.

At any rate, I'm sorry our dictionary thinks "Vegemite" is a misspelled word. That stuff is nasty anyway.

PS: I realize that the British shipped all you assholes out there because you were a bunch of criminals, but did you ever consider using the British dictionary that IS included, or did you just want to sleight America? Just curious.

Comments

[orchidaceous.livejournal.com]

PLEASE tell me you sent that back. I would love you forever.

Also, wtf is with the random 'air quotes' in that email? Talk about irritating.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

The boss made the level 1er send back a nice reply about how to change the dictionary settings to UK english. :(

[politas.livejournal.com]

The random 'air quotes' are part of the phone monkey's transcription ability, one presumes. Sounds like a Chronicles of George situation.

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

not only should you sent that back to him, you should send it in Spanish

[wignersfriend.livejournal.com]

My vote is for esperanto.

[ptomblin-lj.livejournal.com]

You know, generally the rants on this community are there to give the impression that the person on the *other* side of the conversation is the moron. This time, I'm not so sure.

[tysolna]

I'm glad someone said that.

[bitterfun.livejournal.com]

The first line in the "About" description is:

"For Technical Support Reps to say everything you always wanted to say to a customer, without losing your job."

The moron additive is a bonus, the rant is the requirement.

[momentarygenius.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's normally a "I'm dealing with a moron" thing.

This time, it's more of a "I'm frustrated that I even get this type of request" thing.

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I was just waiting for the "And we saved your asses in WWII. AMERICANS R GODS AMONG MEN WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WE DON'T WANT TO I'M TAKING MY TOYS AND GOING HOME."

P.S. The "us Americans" bit hurts my brain.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Word.

[marco262.livejournal.com]

Sooo...you're telling me the "We Americans! We better than yoooo" part wasn't said just to make fun of the luser's accusations? I must be out of the loop...

[momentarygenius.livejournal.com]

"let me get that right out to you, along with Neapolitan, Hollandic, and Mandarin."

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

Heh. I was thinking cuneiform, myself, along with ancient Greek and perhaps Etruscan...

[sethb.livejournal.com]

The NSA didn't invent the Internet.

ARPA paid for (BBN to build) the ARPANET.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

Yep, you're right.. I wrote it in haste and didn't check facts too much) :)

[soruk.livejournal.com]

Alexander Graham Bell (inventer of the telephone) was a Scot.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

But invented the phone in Salem, MA. (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Where_and_how_was_the_telephone_invented), according to this article. The patent was also a US patent (http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/bltelephone1.htm).. That's what I was going on.

[politas.livejournal.com]

Just a small point; UK English is not the same as Australian English (though it's much closer than US English), so it's a compromise, not a real solution.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

Sure, but like I said this guy is complaining after the product had been sunset 2 years ago. According to the support minions, he had used it for about 3 years prior to that (so a total of around 5 years now) before complaining.

The bottom line is the product doesn't support it and never will because we are not going to invest the time and effort into developing the software any further. Our direction has turned from end users to more of a B2B model.

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

Not too sure to be amused or disgusted by your proposed reply. Fuck it, I'm both.

Of course, maybe because it's because I'm Australian. And we're all just criminals, right? </sarcasm>

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

You should be disgusted. I'm an ass and I made generalizations. :(

Sorry.

[phyphor.livejournal.com]

Concentrating on the microprocessor seems a bit narrow. They are, after all, based on the transistor (invented in Germany).

And although ARPANET was an American invention, the Internet wouldn't be where it is today without the World Wide Web (invented by Sir Tim Berners-Lee KBE, English).

As for the telephone, even if you accept that Alexander Graham Bell invented it he was born in Scotland. That conveniently ignores the possibility Antonio Meucci (an Italian) or Johann Philipp Reis (a German) invented it first.

Although others have commented on your inability to spell either "carrier" or "pigeon", nobody has yet pointed out that you do not mean "sleight". You probably mean "slight" (to treat with discourteous reserve or inattention), although if you are aware of the UK meaning you may have meant "slate" (to criticise harshly).

[metao.livejournal.com]

Thank you for pointing out most of the stuff I was going to, and saving me the trouble.

Id also like to point out that, here in Australia, we speak English, just like you Yanks. Whether our written version is more accurate or not is under some debate, but since the language originated in the UK, and we do it how they do it, Id say that that you guys have got it wrong. Of course, Im biased ;) I realise that this mistake may have originated in the luser email, though. That guy was a bit of a weirdo.

Still, while the luser in this case was about an 8/10 on the douchebaggery scale, Id have to say the OP's reply gets close to a 6.

Still, on behalf of Australians Who Hate Vegemite: Yes, Vegemite is nasty, but Id rather be from a nation of petty convicts than from one descended from a bunch of religious freaks who moved because nobody liked them.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

Your suggested reply looks like a classic case of some one trying too hard to be funny when they're not. Though your reply is funny, more for the need of a dictionary than for actual humour, particularly when the original request was for a dictionary in a different dialect. That's irony.

P.S. LJ has a built in dictionary, though it looks to be limited to American English.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Also, the FF browser has cute little spellcheckers when editing in text boxes. Which include, OMG, most varieties of English, including the Yankee kind.

Actually, one thing that galls me is when American English is rebadged as "international English". Hello?

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

...And WHERE would the INNARTUBES be without ENGLISH??!?!

Invented in POMLAND!

-grin-

T

[gotica.livejournal.com]

*wince* there's nothing worse than twats like that promoting antagonism towards the land that I call home.

Though... were you having a bad day? Apart from the painful gut churning experienced from reading that I'm supposedly an arsehole and a criminal (I'm certain the sector I support would love to hear that with the whole terrorism thing running rampant) I'm not really that patriotic.

It does seem like you were having a sucky day and a half.

It was never nasty to me

[drwally.livejournal.com]

What let me down was the statement of opinion, not fact. Never a strong return in any argument.

The opinion stated 'Vegemite is nasty'. There are also people who feel anchovies, olives, liver pate, avocado, brussel sprouts, cow's milk, tofu, etc is 'nasty', however that food has never really lifted a hand or spent a word in anger towards anyone, or anything else.

Re: It was never nasty to me

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Hey fuck you man! Brussel sprouts are evil fucking things and must be wiped out - and that's a solid gold FACT.

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

The user's email? Postworthy. The reply? Nope.

[mago-frog.livejournal.com]

confronting america bashing with australia bashing is like trying to fight stupidity with stupidity.

yep im another aussie who thought the customer was an arse but then so was your response.

[bbblakey.livejournal.com]

I respond to your accusation of cultural imperialism with arrogant jingoism and blatant bigotry! So there!

Also, her point still stands in that the decision not to include a localise Australian dictionary was made BEFORE your company stopped supporting the software. I personally think Australian dictionaries are completely unnecessary since Australian english is very nearly identical to UK english, but her point does, indeed, still stand quite well.

I really think you have no idea how incredibly offensive you've been.