At least the job isn't boring

[cesaretech.livejournal.com]

Every so often, we receive calls that just deserve some sort of reward.

Caller: I have a computer problem (why else would you call us?) and I need it fixed. I've tried to turn on the computer and it still won't get passed the black screen. I've tried five times. What am I doing wrong?
Me: You've booted the computer?
Caller: Yeah, I'm pressing the button over and over. It still won't work.
Me: (knowing how people think) You've booted the CPU, right?
Caller: No, I'm trying to turn on the computer.
Me: Yes, the CPU.
Caller: No, the computer. It won't turn on.
Me: Press the button on the CPU.
Caller: The...what?
Me : The tower. There should be a button for you to press.
Caller: Wait, the tower, the CPU...what? I'm trying to turn on the computer.
Me: Press the button on the tower.
Caller: But that isn't the....Oh, nevermind.
Me: (dies a little inside)

Who actually taught these types of people that the monitor screen is your actual computer? 
Why do we get at least two calls like this a month?

--

Caller: Hey, come somone come over and help me plug in my USB mouse?
Me and my co-workers: .........Plug it into your USB port.
Caller: No, can someone come in and help me do it?

This is why our Technicians insist on having us. We may have some less-than-great workers at the Help Desk, but at least the majority of us know how to weed out really stupid calls. This way, they only get moderately stupid requests.

There's a reason why this university does not offer a Computer Science major/minor.

Comments

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Who actually taught these types of people that the monitor screen is your actual computer?

Reverse darwinism. And TV

"But but but it's the part I look at, right? Therefore it is the whole of the machine!"

Someone needs to educate them about fucking icebergs.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

It's strange that I've never had one of those first calls. I *have* gotten:

(trying to find out if they're on a PC or a thin client)
"What brand name is on the box your mouse is connected to?"
(gives name of monitor manufacturer)
"No, that's the monitor; follow the mouse cable..."

The second, I get an awful lot. Plug it in, you peabrain!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/hub_/]

give them an iMac

;-)

or a etch-a-sketch

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

ugh, just yesterday my dad comes over, i'm building him a new computer. he looks over at my desk and says "oh, is it that one? or that one? or can i have the computer in the middle?"

.... he's looking at my 3, 21" crt MONITORS all driven by ONE pc... ssiiigghhhh...

"no dad, those are SCREENS, not computers..."

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

I want to know who taught people the tower is the "hard drive"

I'm tired of bringing out brand new Seagate drives for when "the hard drive is making funny noises"

[garpu.livejournal.com]

you'd be surprised the number of people who have trouble turning on a mac...

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

I think they think knowing the word hard drive makes them less pooter stoopid.

[cesaretech.livejournal.com]

I was almost tempted to call it that, betting the caller would guess what I was talking about sooner. But I would have felt like I was selling my soul to ignorance.

[whizzy.livejournal.com]

Pft. *I* have trouble turning on a Mac. Buttons are unsightly and Apple likes to hide them where they can't be seen. Or easily reached.

[cesaretech.livejournal.com]

...And the number of people who do not know the difference between a Windows PC and a Mac.

[garpu.livejournal.com]

That, and they like to change the place of the power button from model to model.

[whizzy.livejournal.com]

Technically, calling the tower/case/computer a "CPU" is exactly the same as calling it a hard drive. Both are internal components and neither accurately describes the box upon which the power button is mounted. :P

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

Blame Apple.

[cesaretech.livejournal.com]

You're right. But sort of like mixing up the difference between information and data, it's the lesser of two computer sins. That, and I wanted to get the caller off the phone.

[kuang.livejournal.com]

Sounds like the following exchange, not verbatim but typical:

'My computer isn't doing anything'
- It's not turning on?'
'the screen's on but it's not doing anything'
- Oh, it IS turning on. So 'not doing anything' isn't really true, is it? How far is it getting? Can you log in?
'Yeah, I've logged in but it doesn't work'
- WHAT.. DOESN'T.. WORK?...
'I can't get email'
- Right. From nothing at all to email. What happens when you try it? Any errors?
'It's not there'
- What isn't? Your emails, your brain, my will to live?
'I can't see the little picture'
- The shortcut? It's in the start menu, then programs, then staff programs
'Oh. It didn't look like that yesterday'
- No, I'm sure you're right. It's clearly evolving faster than you. Take two a day after meals and only come back when you're dead.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Nope. Why?

Because idiots were doing this before Apple became the shiney colourful rampant whore it is today. Idiots were probably doing this in the days of the atari 2600. (And most people if you ask them to pick an apple pic prior to an iMac will point to a IIe anyway - which had a completely seperate monitor and cpu/keyboard)

[taleya.livejournal.com]

It's infinitely preferable to my older sister, who repeatedly says she needs "more ram space" (bigger HD), sits her tower on top of a ducted heating vent and thinks I can magically pull data out of her computer when it's turned off simply by twitching my arse cheeks...

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

The Atari 2600, like every nonportable console, doesn't have the tower integrated into the same case as the monitor.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

I know. I've got one...The point was being used to illustrate the heights of their idiocy.



Not only that, the 2600 used a television set as its "monitor", and was a cartridge-run game console



I'd go a long way before I called that a "Tower".

[falnfenix]

we have to differentiate between monitor and CPU by calling the CPU the "hard drive" at my work (since most of our workstations are space-savers). somehow, many of our lower level users had never touched a computer before working for my employer.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Although CPU used to initially refer to what's now the case, tower, desktop etc. Hard drive has never referred to that.

Of course, unless the caller is a tech from way back when, calling the current tower/box/case a CPU just means the caller's an idiot.

[psychotwinkie.livejournal.com]

That happened to my sister when she was in high school. She is in no way a tech, but had to explain to her business teacher that her CPU was the tower, not the monitor.

When i heard the story i pretty much died of laughter. thus i am giggling a lot over yours

*goes back to lurking*

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

Quote:

'Oh. It didn't look like that yesterday'
- No, I'm sure you're right. It's clearly evolving faster than you. Take two a day after meals and only come back when you're dead.

ROFLage because... yanno... I've been there myself :)

[dagbrown.livejournal.com]

...many of our lower level users had never touched a computer before working for my employer.

How exactly does one accomplish that particular feat in the twenty-first century? Personal computers have been around for nearly thirty years now. It's like never having seen a car or something.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

I just had to search for the power button on a big iMac.... ;-)