Labor Day Bitch #2

[darkmattr.livejournal.com]

Dear Sir,

I am truly sorry you are losing 20K a day because your internet is down. I am unable to get a tech out there today.

I also personally suggest that if you're business requires that kind of turn around on service calls, you go with a business package, not the cheapest home package possible.

Also, if you're losing that much a day, feel free to fly me out there tonight, first class, pay me a grand, and I'll personally fix it myself, saving you at least 2 days of down time, and at your rates 40K minus my pay and travel expenses.

Thank you,
Me

Comments

[brothersterno.livejournal.com]

I love those customers. They get pissed off and the thought "maybe if my livelyhod depends on the internet I should have a redundant connection..." never occurs to them. Nor having a connection with a better service level agreement...

I occasionally get into trouble when someone says this phrase, because I laugh.

[zucci-zookeenee.livejournal.com]

I love when they go on about loosing x-amount every hour or whatever.
If their business relies on the service perhaps they should be able to spring for a slightly more reliable service?

Then again, making sense would be asking too much, wouldn't it?

[xforge.livejournal.com]

I guess he never asked "hey, why the price difference?" Here's a clue, Doc: The expensive one comes with some sort of GUARANTEE. Frickin' DUH??

= )

[jecook]

I'd actually like to thank my ISP for having at least a token staff at work today to take billing.

I am a yutz, and forgot to pay the silly thing. :slaps self on head with a trout:

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you just admitted that you were running a commercial service on your residential service? Oh, that's easy enough to fix. ... There, fixed."

"MY INTERNET IS STILL DOWN!"

"Oh, yes. You see, running a business off of the residential service is a violation of the terms of service you agreed to. I've disconnected your service, and will now transfer you to Business Sales. They'll be able to install you in a few weeks."

"WHAT???"

"Yep. Oh, and you have one week to return the modem to us. Either by booking a tech to pick it up, or dropping it off yourself. Otherwise you'll be charged with the replacement cost and..."

*Slam*

[sethb.livejournal.com]

"If your Internet-based business brings in $7 million a year, don't you think you should be buying connectivity that's more reliable than the $40/month consumer package?"

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

My favorite part is when you suggest a business account and they start neeping and nopping about the costs...a REAL businessman/woman would have done cost analysis and wouldn't wait for a phone agent to point out the benefit...

[whitewolf3399.livejournal.com]

To add insult to injury the ISP I work for actually has a product that is actively marketed to business when it fact it's little different from our consumer product. Same MTTR, no uptime guarantee etc but of course it's cheap as all hell.

Guess how many times the sales weasels have pointed out that little nugget of information before signing the customer on the dotted line, sometimes to the tune of several hundred sites/locations for thousands of bucks per month.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

So what kind of business is buying connectivity without doing basic research first? Or, indeed, allowing purchasing of any kind to be done by people who aren't doing basic research?

(Immediate answer that sprang to mind: "One that won't be around long.")

[whitewolf3399.livejournal.com]

You would probably be surprised... One of our largest users is a very large, very well known bank who uses it for their ATM machines. And yes they scream bloody murder when they go down.

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

I miss doing tech support and getting people like that.

Jackass: "I'm running a business here! My website is on my home server!"
Me: "Sir, that's a violation of your terms of service. I'll transfer you to sales, and they'll hook you up with a business account."
Jackass: "But-"
Me: *transfers call*

[benatwork.livejournal.com]

And there is one of the (many) reasons why I have business-class to my house. Well, that and the ability to go, "Hey, I'm having this problem, and appears to be your network." with a response of, "Well, I can have a tech out there by 3:00.. today."

Now if only the techs they sent could figure out what the hell was going on.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

I miss those customers