Just... I... *snap*

[toxico.livejournal.com]

From the fucking HEAD OF HUMAN RESOURCES:

Thank you for the PC Inventory list for the HR group. I made some changes/updates to it and provided information you reported that is different from our set up down here.

In addition, when Jxxx deployed Dxxxx Wxxxx’s flat screen monitor a couple weeks ago, her old black monitor was to go to Fxxxxx Wxxxxx as her flat screen was deployed elsewhere within our group. At the present, we do not know where it went but need it moved to Fxxxxx so she may have a monitor that matches her keyboard. While this might seem trivial to some, these small things are what keep our group going strong during these trying times. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thanks.

Words fail me.

Comments

[garpu.livejournal.com]

As a tech support minion, I LAUGH. People like that get moved to the lowest priority quickly.

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

I cried a little inside upon reading that.

[brotherflounder]

You should send them a hot pink monitor.

[gilded_lady]

...all I can say is that if they think a matching monitor is going to keep the workforce happy, they must be paying them shit--and have conditioned the employees to be happy about it o.O

[snarl817.livejournal.com]

Dear $HEAD_OF_HR,
If all it takes to keep your people happy is coordinated keyboards and monitors, then perhaps you should consider replacing them with robots. The employees...not the keyboards and monitors.

No love because I'm now stabbing my brain with a fork,
snarl817

[blossomingfire.livejournal.com]

Here's how you really kill them: Give Fxxxx a new keyboard.

[photosinensis.livejournal.com]

And the first time I read that, I thought that you had Doctor Who working for your company. I've got DW fans on my f'list, after all.

[kuang.livejournal.com]

I sympathise, and you're not alone as the first minute of this clip demonstrates.. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIvnz73Zsws)

[ptomblin-lj.livejournal.com]

Hey, *I* was going to say that.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Your HR department must be quite like ours; I don't know what their budget is every year, but clearly it does not include such frivolous items as "decent pay for hard-working people" and "computers that were manufactured in the recent memory of anyone alive on Earth today." As someone else said, if "matching monitor and keyboard" is one of the things that's important to the proper functioning of their team, they are obviously not paying them worth beans, and probably not bothering to spend on frivolities like the occasional carton of bagels for the break room, either.

[tmesser.livejournal.com]

Believe it or not, the IT department in the college from which I just graduated is undertaking a "color coordination" project to make all components black. I can only hope it was all equipment that needed to be replaced anyway.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

I threw up a little bit, in my mouth.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Please let me know if you have any questions.

How the hell do you do your job if you're worrying about the keyboard/monitor coordination?

Hell, I have two different Dell monitors on a Mac, with Logitech track ball. And my socks don't match! Blow me!

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Everybody knows black computers work better.

I mean, duh.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

L to the O to the L

[cirobi.livejournal.com]

i went through that at the last place i worked. they were obsessed with everything matching to the point where deployments were delayed because they didn't have enough of xxx model flat panel available because xxx model and yyy model of the same size looked different. -_-

[mouser.livejournal.com]

The head of HR is trying to prove what a big shot (changed that at the last second) by proving he can get stupid requests.

"CC: Security
CC: Accounting

Since you are reporting that there has been a theft of company assets, (Flat Screen Monitor, SN: xx-xxx-xxx) please forward a copy of the theft of assets report so we can have the insurance paperwork correctly filled out and arrange the replacement item be procured. We will have to have a purchase order from your department, as it will be purchased through normal channels being a non mission critical item.

Since your area must now be considered a high risk item (theft of company assets in excess of $200) we will have to insist that all electronic locks be read to determine who had access to the area at the time.

Additionally, we will be installing locking devices to affix all computer equipment to desks. By necessity this will have to be be accomplished during normal working hours do to current manning levels and overtime restrictions.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter."

[psychotwinkie.livejournal.com]

*de-lurks*
No wonder I am so unhappy. This white monitor is totally clashing with my black keyboard!

*sigh*

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

all computer equipment- including mice, which will be attached to the mouse pad, which from now on will be glued to the most suitable location on your desk.

[shirenomad]

*standing ovation* :D

[wibbble]

The black case absorbs photons that otherwise would have been reflected. The computer can use these as an alternate source of power, reducing the company's utility bills.

(frozen)

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

It almost sounds to me like the people who get tickets sent out to get them color coordinated desktop hardware are the management folks whose butts HR is currently kissing. I'm guessing not just everyone in the company gets attention when they throw a fit about color coordinated accessories. That would be my guess. I could be wrong, I frequently am .. :)

[fenrirvallin.livejournal.com]

Find room somewhere in the budget for nicer mice.

Then get them in random reds and blues. Logitech usually has some that aren't in black/grey/beige.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

The black matches my soul.

/emo /emo /emo

[toxico.livejournal.com]

I actually was going to *do* that.