Tech Support: Not Just For Work Anymore

[davesmith42.livejournal.com]

I work for an ISP in a smallish town. One of the upsides to living and working in a small town is that you can get to know your users, and do things that the bigger companies can't (like ask customers to bring their busted-up PCs to your office and repair them hands-on).

The downside is that you get to know your users.

Here's a ticket I just had to put in, on a Sunday afternoon, because I know this guy will end up calling my boss to complain...

Ticket 56834 for (768k broadband acct)

Customer approached me in the laundromat today, began talking at me (not to me) about the relative virtues of RAMBUS RAM, how he thinks it's amazing that they make computers with two processors now, drooling occasionally on my clothes while talking about his four degrees in Computer Science that weren't worth the (bleep) paper they're printed on. After about ten minutes of trying desperately to ignore him, while I went about folding and fluffing, giving customer nothing but monosyllabic responses and the occasional grunt, I told customer (paraphrased) "Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but this is a laundromat, and I'm not on the clock, do you mind?"

Customer started crying and called me a bad person.

None of this is directly work-related but I think it should be documented.

(I wish I were making this up.)

If you know me, or even just have seen me in the office, I'll usually say hello at least; that's just polite. If you catch me in the Electronics aisle at Wal-Mart and ask a goofy question, I'll probably answer as best I can. But talking like an idiot, while I'm trying to sort out socks and fold my damn boxers, you've gone too far. And if you really can't handle this fact without being brought to tears you probably need to go back to your cave or something.

Comments

[davesmith42.livejournal.com]

I did omit some of the details, but "no social skills" is probably a fair assessment. This same customer calls the office every week or so, just to tell us about the weather (we can look out the window) and about once a month he calls to make sure we're aware that Microsoft will be releasing some patches next Tuesday.

A few weeks back he wanted to tell us about this brand-new thing he'd just heard of for the first time called Linux (pronounced Lie-KNUCKS, like "brass knucks" with a really hard emphasis on the second syllable so that it almost sounds like you're coughing) that we should look at. Way to keep up with the time, Mr. "Four Degrees in CS."

I'm not gonna claim to be a paragon of social grace, but if someone's actively ignoring me, I usually get the hint in less than ten minutes.

[ximinez]

Linux (pronounced Lie-KNUCKS, like "brass knucks" with a really hard emphasis on the second syllable so that it almost sounds like you're coughing)

Isn't that how Linus pronounces it? ;)

[vertelemming.livejournal.com]

Cue the "Linix" vs. "Linux" wars.

[ximinez]

Woops.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but I'm a RHCE and I call it "lihn-icks" rather than "Line-ucks"

[soruk.livejournal.com]

Way back when, I came across a sound sample (may have been a sound card test utility) that featured Linus introducing himself and saying how he pronounced it.

"Lee-nucks". Probably works better when spoken with a Finnish accent..

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

one time at Fry's, i was looking at cordless mice, and some lUser came up to me and started asking me questions about this and that. I told him to "fuck off, i don't work here." He got all teary eyed and vowed to tell the manager to fire me.

[dagbrown.livejournal.com]

You should've challenged him to, just to see what would happen when he did bring the manager out. That would've been fun.

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

when i walked away he started screaming for the manager.

[dagbrown.livejournal.com]

Ooh, at that point I would have definitely turned around and waited for a manager to show up.

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

i flipped him off, startled some actual employees so much that they were afraid to help him and went to look at some laptops and sega games (this was a while back)

[soruk.livejournal.com]

I made the mistake of visiting a branch of PC World (UK) whilst wearing a purple shirt. Yes, big mistake.

One customer (seemingly in a hurry) tried to get my attention while I was looking at random bits of hardware on the brown-box shelf. As I turned round - slowly - he was already going on about how bad the staff were at this branch. Holding up two different nVidia cards in their boxes he asked for a detailed explanation of their differences. To be honest I had absolutely no idea, but said "They both satisfy the requirement of enabling the computer to drive a CRT or flatscreen monitor. As for the differences between the two they would be lost on someone as lacking in observational skills as you."

(ouch)

At this point he was getting rather irate, started shouting and demanding the store manager. Who duly arrived at this very much one-sided scene. He explained to the manager (surprisingly truthfully) what had happened, though finishing up with him actually *throwing* the video card boxes at me.

The next thing I knew is a couple of large individuals from the store security team grabbed him, and forced him to buy *both* of the video cards he threw, with the manager threatening to call the police for him abusing and assaulting another customer (me).

The only thing the manager asked me after telling me that guy was permanently barred from the store was, "Didn't you tell him you didn't work here?", to which I replied, "He wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways. As for my comment about his lack of observational skills, I was referring to the fact it doesn't say PC World on my shirt."

I've not made that (shirt colour) mistake since.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

You made a customer cry! I salute you!

***golf clap***

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

I was about to say the exact same thing. Except I don't know what a Golf Clap is.

[davesmith42.livejournal.com]

If someone calls me when I'm at work and wants to talk about whatever inane computer stuff they want, within reason, I'll deal with it. I'm at work, that's my job.

When the user sees me at a laundromat, where it's reasonable to expect I'm not at work, and starts (literally) drooling on my freshly-laundered clothes, I believe I'm entitled to draw a line.

Do the rest of you really think I went too far? (Obviously, I don't...)

[bamatone.livejournal.com]

Hell no. You did fine.

*thumbs up*

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

I don't. I came here to say something along the lines of "You made the dude cry? Awesome".

There's not called lusers for nothing.

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

Automatic fingers, apparently not paying attention to brain. *They're

[davesmith42.livejournal.com]

Damn Internet, not conveying tone of voice properly. (I thought the golf-clap dude above was being a smartass. Maybe he was, I dunno.

The crying really was both the best and worst part of the story. He was sobbing like I'd just raped his kittens or something. At least his girlfriend shot me a "sorry you had to put up with this" look.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I heartily approve! I wish I had more chances to make my users cry.

[gotica.livejournal.com]

*picture of guy* + girlfriend = does not add up?

Maybe he has some redeeming features.....

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

oh, a golf clap is a compliment, not an insult. and to save you the spoiler, you need to learn it for your self. really. it's funny the first time.

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

no. You didn't kick him in the balls. YOU SHOULD HAVE KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS!!

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

You know how, when they televise golf, and everyone's silent while the player takes the difficult shot for the tee? When the player makes it, everyone does the polite/quiet clap. Or they used to.

[brotherflounder]

Most still do, but you usually one or two drunkards shout "GO IN THE HOLE!" as well.

[ohmyhead.livejournal.com]

I made a user's wife cry once. He made her do everything computer-related for him, and got frustrated with what I was walking her through, and started crying. I felt really bad, so I offered to drive 90 miles to their houseboat to do a bunch of computer stuff for them. So I went down there and that's when I found out how hot she was. Then I cried.

Sympapthy

[phyrewall.livejournal.com]

I totally sympathize. I'm an Active Duty Army soldier who does helpdesk tech support for around 1,000 users here in Germany. I try to stay in my cubicle as much as possible, but seeing as I'm one of only 6 techs, and I have to do support at the user's desk occasionally, people tend to recognize me...

So I get stopped at the chow hall, the PX (post store), the post office, etc (since we all have to go to the same places!).. All. The. Time.

I hate it. I'm not working, please don't ask me about your computers. My favorite is, "Can you come to my quarters and help me set up my wireless network?" I would love to reply, "Sure, I'll go to your quarters and fix that, you go to my quarters and re-caulk my bathroom..." but I CAN'T... I have to be respectful since most of them out rank me any way... sigh...

Much sympathy your way, I think you handled it well.

Re: Sympapthy

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

One point I loved when I went to work for helpdesk in a large government department was that we were located in the same neighborhood as HQ, which meant that in order to be ranked somewhere above 'footstool' we were automatically advanced to a Level 5 somethingorother. This put us equivalent with 'tea boy' anywhere around headquarters, but when the other 96% of the country called us up, we usually outranked them.

So nice to be able to tell managers to go cry in a corner.

Re: Sympapthy

[superbus.livejournal.com]

Easiest answer:

"I'm sorry, seargeant/sir, but my direct supervisor has instructed me that I am not authorized to give off-hours support".

[ayelmar.livejournal.com]

Oh, lord...I've literally had nightmares about a luser somehow getting hold of my home phone number....

*shudders*

Thank you SO much for reminding me of that...