Ah ha, I found it....

[slayne-souls.livejournal.com]

Instructions from the I.T. Department

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art.

2. Don't ever write anything down, especially the error message that was on your screen.

3. If we ask what the last thing you did was, always respond with, "I didn't do anything."

4. When we say we'll be right over, immediately find a reason to leave so you won't
have to answer silly questions from us, like "what's your screen saver password?"

5. When describing your problem, just tell us what you were ultimately trying to do. For example, just say, "I can't get my email". We don't need to know that the computer won't even turn on.

6. Feel free to ignore any email sent from us, especially those marked with high importance.
You don't really need to know about the latest virus that wiped out your neighbors hard drive.

7. Always send important and urgent emails in all uppercase.

8. When the copier, or anything else remotely electronic, doesn't work, call us.
Heck, if we can fix computers, we must know all about copiers too.

9. If the document you sent to the printer didn't print, send it at least 20 more times.
One of them is bound to work.

10. Don't ever learn the proper name for anything technical.
We know exactly what you mean by "my thingy blew up".

11. Don't waste your time using the built in help files.
We already had to learn the hard way, why should you?

12. If any of the computer cables are in your way or keep moving, be sure to route them across
the top of your portable heater or set something big and heavy on them to hold them in place.

13. Never bother reading any message that pops up on your screen.
Just click the X to close it or the first button your mouse gets to.

14. Don't ever try rebooting the computer yourself. Call us immediately.
Only experienced, highly-trained professionals should attempt that.

15. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know anything about this computer crap".
We love hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

16. When you receive a huge movie file that's really funny, be sure to forward it to all your friends.
We have plenty of disk space and bandwidth.

17. Don't bother bringing a radio to work, just listen to music over the internet.
Like I said, we have plenty of bandwidth.

18. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks.
Somebody else might squeeze their one-page document into the queue.

19. When an I.T. person is carrying heavy equipment, worth thousands of dollars,
that's the best time to ask why your screen saver quit working.

20. Don't bother to tell us when you move computer equipment around on your own.
We certainly don't need to keep track of those things.

21. Your computer case makes a great flat surface for sitting drinks or potted plants on.

22. Do whatever you can to cover up those ugly open air slots in the computer and monitor.

Comments

[tragicsupergirl.livejournal.com]

9. If the document you sent to the printer didn't print, send it at least 20 more times.
One of them is bound to work.

Do this especially when printing a 300 page job. And after you found out first time around that it WILL print all 21 times perfectly eventually, please do it again the next time this problem occurs...

And number 7 makes my head hurt.

[superbus.livejournal.com]

I send them my reply in 72 size font, and in red. And caps.

[bamatone.livejournal.com]

That first one really hit home for me. Gah...

[vertelemming.livejournal.com]

... I admit, I'm guilty of number 21. Though in my case it's a lamp and a network switch, but same principle.

[gholam.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, we sold cases that had a curved top with a built-in carrying handle. Some noname chinese crap made out of tinfoil, but if you google for ASUS S-presso it'll give you the general idea - except S-presso is mostly flat, while those cases were really bulging on top. Just try stacking anything on one of them :)

[egearman.livejournal.com]

There needs to be a software list as well. #2 here could be reused.

My contribution would be:

"If you are the marketing or sales droid, don't come up with your own terminology for what we do and then immediately expect us to understand what you are talking about."

[blossomingfire.livejournal.com]

I had half of them just today.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

Refer to us disparagingly as geeks and nerds.

[jjjiii]

Or, worse, as though you're one of us.

[forever-damned.livejournal.com]

Thanks to the media, and those flogging bad support companies that have "Geek", "Nerd", "Techie" in title, people seem to think its the IT equivalent of "Mate".

I *hate* being referred to as Geek or Nerd, especially on the job. It also relates to:

15. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know anything about this computer crap".
We love hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

I can't think of another industry that requires as much constant (read: Daily) training as ours does. I hate when people dumb it down.

[meljane.livejournal.com]

Alot of those I've been through and also my hubby , we work at a uni in one of IT areas and we get some real bright sparks ,particularly Lecturers .

I've had worse than the first one mentioned ,I've had the obstacle course of paper and books to try and get to the computer that is unplugged on the floor in the far corner of the room.

I've also had some other annoying things happen but you've definetly hit on the top 22 of them.

The thing thast surprises me the most how do these people get to work without getting killed , maybe there is someone that looks after the idiots *sigh*.

[gholam.livejournal.com]

Working theory is, computers emit a radiation field, exact properties of which continue to elude scientific research, but it does seem to eliminate all traces rational thought within human brains in a certain radius. Some people appear to be immune - those are drafted into tech support.

[sigurther.livejournal.com]

You forgot 'Be sure to attach notes and pictures to your computer case with large, garish decorative MAGNETS.'

[catmmo.livejournal.com]

I was going to mention that one. I had a user once that was sneaker-netting and couldn't understand why her floppy worked in one computer and not in the other ... I found 2 huge magnets sitting on it - like the kind of magnets you find in speakers ...

[jdotmi.livejournal.com]

Someone stuck a magnet to the side of monitor when I worked at the bookstore back in the stone age. It made all sorts of pretty colors!

[sami-rdwd.livejournal.com]

My contribution:
"When we remote into your computer to help you, ingore us. We don't need control of the mouse, so by all means click on anything you please and move it all over the screen if you wish."