Head-banging.

[wibbble]

Were they typing - or banging their head off of the keyboard?

[Message: hiya,,i am using [flagship product] for internet but the problem is when i get connect ti internet then if wana to use phone as weel thn my net is disconnected..so i wana use my phone for calls as well as for internet at tht same time. as whn i use my phonne for recieivng or makin cal but a msg come like packet data hold on and i m disconnected from internet . a si is a big ponblim for me,,so how can i b bale to use both at da same time]

The guy replied to my answer and it wasn't any better than that. One guy at work suggested that I should've said 'We're sorry, [Company] UK and Ireland are only able to answer questions in English.'

Comments

[thebabynancy.livejournal.com]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

Chavtastic!

Oh, and shouldn't this be a secure post?

[wibbble]

It's not quite identifying enough to worry me - and what are they going to do? Fire me?

We've been told that as of today there is no way for people calling in to complain about the service they've received. Supervisors (all two of them - and one is on holiday) don't take calls and the written complaints address is no longer available.

So now if we call someone a cock and hang up on them, when they call back to complain - we can just hang up on them again! The only down side is that 20% of the calls are being taken by the new people, who presumably have some inclination to behave properly since they still have a job.

[soruk.livejournal.com]

In that case you could have an awful lot of fun telling the idi^Wusers how to do something in a way that is convincing but entirely missing the point, or actually fixing the problem using the most contorted and tortuous method possible. ^_^

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

Ponblim?! Fantastic.

[nykeyoung.livejournal.com]

This is why IMs need a spell check that disconnects the internet if the message is unintelligible.

[wibbble]

These are actually incoming 'emails' that are sent through a web-form. His reply - which I didn't save - was an actual email sent from an email client.

[nykeyoung.livejournal.com]

The language threw me off.

[kayfox.livejournal.com]

What I would say:
"Sorry, you can either buy an iDEN phone (think Telus Mike or Nextel) or buy a UMTS (or later) unit. No GSM phones currently support this service (although IIRC in theory they can)."

What I'm thinking:
"Are you fucking daft? What you want is not possible.

PS: Learn English and how to type."

So... no questions in Gaelic?

[wibbble]

GSM can't - either the channels are used for voice or GPRS, can't be both.

The handset in question was a 3G/UMTS handset, but with someone that incoherent I'm not going to go into explaining the difference between getting a GSM signal and getting a 3G signal. It's a lie, but one that preserves my sanity.

[kayfox.livejournal.com]

GSM devices with a capability class of A can be connected to both at once, I have yet to see a cell phone with this capability, but I have seen some experimental Sierra devices with this capability.

see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Packet_Radio_Service#Capability_classes

But, preserving your sanity is more important when talking to a customer.

[wibbble]

I find that lying to customers has become essential in my job these days - there's been a rush of very, very non-technical people (we fondly refer to them as 'retards') using extremely complex handsets and wanting to use all of their features. Rather than saying 'that might work, if you do X or find some third-party software, or know about wireless networking', I just say 'no'.

[ateji.livejournal.com]

Dang. And I thought the crazy emails we get at work were bad.

*thinks fondly of the eight-line paragraph full of "You took away my drugs and had me thrown in the mental and the police sexually assaulted me and I'LL SUE YOU" email of great infamy that was shown to nearly every person internally*