Request for everyone

[canray.livejournal.com]

OK folks, I've commented a few times that I'm a Paranoia XP RPG GM.

And I'm currently working on an adventure for it, one that will send the characters into the very depths of HELL!

Their mission, and they volunteer for this mandatory mission, is to pose as Call/Field Techs for a Computer Tech Support Firm (Meaning that while they're fixing systems in the field, they also have to do phone support at the same time!) for a very specific reason (Currently under design, but I might just go with the typical Paranoia theme of "To lure the Communists out.").

So folks, I would like to request your favorite issues! The rare, the weird, the common, what is it that causes you to wince in agony, slam your head into the wall, make you want to pull out a laser pistol and just shoot the person you're dealing with, smash valuable property rather than fix it again and again and again!

Special thanks and cameos will go out to those that help!

For those of you who don't know what RPGs are, and Paranoia XP specifically, well, I can only say this:

Friend Computer Approves of Google.

Comments

[redhillian.livejournal.com]

Red tech support. Yellow help files.

Uh, no.

[alexmizell.livejournal.com]

Friend Computer would probably not approve of free exchange of information in general, comrade. In fact, I seriously doubt if you have clearance for any search engine more useful than Ask Jeeves, troubleshooter. Please report to the nearest suicide booth for summary reeducation. You will also be taught to fix broken hyperlinks.

Re: Uh, no.

[canray.livejournal.com]

*Beats Infrared HTTP Monkey Until Morale And Quality Inproves *

[canray.livejournal.com]

That's a good start, and a given. :-D

[shadedspriter.livejournal.com]

I have only ever played one game of Paranoia...

I was killed by out of control scrubber droids (the ones on the "cleaning oficers card")...TWICE.

This was in the adventure set out in the book...but changed slightly because we had a really good GM.

Also worst way to die..."Automatic tooth picks."

------------

Now onto the topic at hand...

currently I am thinking how many out of control items may need a power cycle - which a customer experiencing the (maybe explosive) problem doesn't think of.

[tysolna]

Oh fantastic. Would you mind terribly much if I nicked your idea for a Doctor Who RPG I'm running?

[canray.livejournal.com]

Only if you help out with the adventure. ;-P

And you'll have to come up with problems a sonic screwdriver can't fix, as well. :-P

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Um... I... Can fix Friend Computer."

"WHAT?"

"Well... It turns out that all Friend Computer needed to be was shut off and a full drive scan for missing clusters."

"GREAT! Wait... How long would the drive scan take?"

"Ummmmmmmmmm... Eight years."

"Oh boy. And Friend Computer runs..."

"Everything, especially life support."

[canray.livejournal.com]

Sonic Screwdriver Field Techs! I love it!!!

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Backup files encrypted with a randomly generated password.

The Rainbow (http://csrc.nist.gov/secpubs/rainbow/) series of government computer security standards.

Audit trails (and other event logging) done by hand.

[tysolna]

Right - I'll sleep over it and talk to you in the morning. ;)

[canray.livejournal.com]

Excellent!

Just kidding about the requirement to help out. Nick away! Us Gamers gotta look out for each other!

[canray.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking more that primary files would be encrypted with a random password, and the back-up files in a non-decryptical encryption.

[mouser.livejournal.com]

"There exists a problem with the auto-target laser cannon. Please diagnose and repair."

(Cord RIGHT next to it is KIND OF loose. A slight jiggle and it will reactivate and re-orientate - by shooting random things in range. A *lot*.)

Laser Printers that don't have a stun setting.

(I keep imagine having a campaign where they find a dusty disk marked "Computer O/S update - 1.01" where the find the computer is running version 1.00 - not sure what the update would DO, but it WOULD make any situation... worse...)

[shadedspriter.livejournal.com]

I have heard of the Doctor Who RPG...(It came out in the 80s didn't it.)

I also have a friend who wanted to run a Call of Cthulhu game...but with one of the characters "secretly" (i.e. not known by the other players.) being The Doctor or a time lord.

[shadedspriter.livejournal.com]

I just realised...GMing Paranoia is like a Tech Geeks wet dream...you are the Hal9000 shooting people out of the airlock.

or is it just my wet dream...

[canray.livejournal.com]

Not exactly a wet dream. More along the lines of a nightmare where I was one of the Troubleshooters.

It was at that point that I knew I needed to quit that job. ;-P

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Just having users that don't read drives me nuts.

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Laser Printers that don't have a stun setting."

This made me choak on my TeaSir. +50 Credits.

[canray.livejournal.com]

SHEER BRILLIANCE! I can use that in so many different ways!

*Steals*

"For your service to Alpha Complex, you are hereby promoted to Red clearance!"

"Ummmm... I am Red clearance."

"Keep up that bad attitude and I'll bust you all the way back down to Red, Mister!"

[knottie.livejournal.com]

Not sure if this is what you're looking for, but my favorite issue recently had us laughing because of the user description..."My typewriter is typing Chinese!".

It was a laptop, she was typing numbers, and the shift key was stuck...we probably would have cottoned on faster if she'd said it was swearing at her. For a few minutes I entertained the notion she actually knew what a chinese character looked like and that slowed me down. !@#$% lol

[canray.livejournal.com]

Call of Computer?

[canray.livejournal.com]

That one will work nicely as well.

Beware the wrath of the Printer Queue Manager!

[tryst-inn.livejournal.com]

Oh dear Gods...can I mention the asshat who wanted us to add a large volume paper shredder to the printer server? 0___o

Seems some protocol requires his department to print out monthly reports so there was an autoprint command on a chron setup for an outdated program (whose vendor shut down years ago - natch), then an addendum security protocol required almost immediate shredding. It never occured to him we could have someone quietly crack the program to wipe the autoprint without disrupting the regular processes of the outdated software.

We still talk about that guy over drinks. Lots of drinks.

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Excuse me, can you help me? ... See, I'm a spy and..." *Clonks Heads Together*