Email = reason for marriage.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

While I was giggling over horse porn and kids gone wrong...still, I got a call from one of the professors who did research in chem.  I talked to him and seen him before, because SquirrelMail is the bane of his existence, apparently.  Today, he decided to use pine, for which he needs to know extremely easy unix commands...and how to log into our unix server.

So, after I explained all the one's he'd need and sent him an email in case he forgot, he decided to get a little personal.

Prof. ChemHead: Wow, awesome!  Thanks!
Me: You're welcome!  Is there anything else you needed?
Prof. ChemHead: Yes, just one question.
Me: Okay, shoot!
Prof. ChemHead: Are you single?
Me: What?
Prof. ChemHead: I said, are you single?
Me: Uhh...yes?
CH: Well, so am I.
Me: Really?  I thought you would have had nerd babies between calling me.
CH: Ahaha...  Well, we've been getting along pretty well lately.
Me: Really, now?
CH: Yes, really.  And after this relationship has had such a great chance to develop and be nurtured as it was, I was wondering if you're the type to marry.
My Brain:  W.  T.  F?
My mouth: I don't think that's supported, Sir. (Still trying to figure out why this comes out as my response to things when I don't know what else to say)
CH: Would you like to go on a date?
Me: I'm a student.  A 19-year-old student.
CH: Oh...call me when you graduate.

Click.

...What the fuck?  This is a help center.  For tech support.  Not a dating service for professors who have their head in the chemicals.  "Develop and nurture"...our relationship...because he has issues with his email constantly (because he's incredibly...not..tech...savvy.)

Lesson: Tech support is serious business.  However,  if while receiving tech support you feel feelings of elation to the point where you even momentarily consider marriage, dating, or otherwise with your tech supporter, it may be time to visit counseling.

Oh well, at least I didn't have some weird girl stalk me to the point of getting her schedule to match mine after I fixed her computer once unlike ONE of my coworkers.  ...But he's also a bit of a chronic flirt and may have deserved it.

And the great thing about working with guys?  My new office nickname is "Princess Bride"...after that movie.

I'm so changing all their passwords the moment they're not looking.

Comments

[russianswinga.livejournal.com]

Wow. I feel for you.

(Thanks god for being a guy, as not too many female professors at this university hit on male computer support staff)

[spiker-uk.livejournal.com]

*nods* Well... no female computer support staff in my group; but I have been slightly flirted with by a slightly neurotic female prof...

All I can say is: yick.

[azzy23.livejournal.com]

I have this problem a lot too. I have an outgoing personality. I don't flirt, but I laugh if something is funny. That sorta thing.

I've been told I have, I guess, a sex voice? I personally think I have a high sotto kind of voice, but whatever. Chick techs get hit on. Apparently it's like... an extra service we provide or something.

I get everything from guys asking what I look like, theorizing that I've got lovely dark hair (I'm a blonde), all the way to statements like, "I enjoy messing with pretty little techie girls" (said in response to my scripted questions of "What issue can I assist you with today?"... and I hung up on the guy, by the way).

What goes for techs goes doubly so for female techs. We hate you just as much as the male ones, perhaps even a little more.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

...A...sex voice? What the hell...?

Props for hanging up on the bastard!

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

"Sex voice" is very much a matter of individual taste. I'd have to hear yours to make any kind of real call on that, but any voice works for at least some of the population.

(I've been told my voice is TV-broadcaster level professional, but a lot of that is due to a childhood spent around my transplanted Midwestern dad whose accent is as rural western Kansas as you can get. I've also been told I turn Canadian when I talk to Canadians, which is a little scary especially if I'm keeping up with someone in, say, Edmonton, but that's the downside of a linguistically trained ear. I can think of exactly one person who's ever told me I have a "sex voice", and more than once I've pictured her writhing on the floor moaning when Peter Jennings or Ted Koppel comes on .. sigh ..)

Yeah, "messing with pretty little techie girls" has been known to fetch an instant dial tone around here too. It's really funny to see case notes where the customer called back, got a very unsympathetic male agent, tried to complain about being hung up on, and got taken to account by the agent. One of the nice things about my current work environment is that people take that kind of stuff seriously ..

[azzy23.livejournal.com]

Well, what pissed me off about that particular call, was I couldn't even get the guy's NAME. He called back right away and got a guy, and was all business.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

Yikes! I have to do in-person tech support, and most of my users respect me. There was one fellow who liked to cop a feel when he thought he could get away with it. Then he tried it in a crowded elevator. I deliberately stepped back and stood on his instep, and I was wearing high-heeled boots.

"Oh, was that your foot? I am so sorry!"

He never laid a hand on me again.

When I worked retail, I got what I called 'the grilling' from one customer- "Are you married? Do you date? Etc?"

I replied, "Excuse me- would you ask those questions to a guy?"

That did the trick.

Most people respect me and commend my work, but from time to time, I have to deal with someone who does not see me as a person. It was really bad when I was in the USAF, but I also ran into it in retail, and very rarely, in my current job. The fact that I am female seems to make some guys brains short straight to ground. It's probably why women tend to stay out of technical fields.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

"Excuse me- would you ask those questions to a guy?"

<--I am SO trying that.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

The look on their faces is the visual equivalent of that needle ripping across the record noise.

Seriously. Suddenly, you're a person. And a pissed-off person, too.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

Why did that remind me of the story of the serial killer from back home who couldn't kill one of his victims after raping her repeatedly cause she shouted, "I'm human too" at him? ...That can't be good.

Moment I get a chance to try it out, I'll get to sing your praises! Buuut, I'm off work for the day, so time to partyparty...or take a nap. Whatever.

[darkrosetiger.livejournal.com]

With my luck, I'd get that call, only it would be some 80-year-old emeritus professor.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

Emeritus profs need love too? My school offers a "computer university" for older people to teach them how to use...well, computers, but technically they don't have an affiliation, so we technically aren't supposed to help them... Anyway, a bunch of cute old ladies always flirt with my coworkers. Cracks me up.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

...Seriously? I've had coworkers hit on me, but usually the customers are so confused or angry or dumb that they look at me as a fountain of spewing information--which I certainly hope doesn't = hit on material.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

Cynical, older, and not a twig? Can I hit on you? :D

I think it might be since my coworkers are college nerds and don't know that whole... "work-safe" environment thing. I love them dearly, but...

[alstaria.livejournal.com]

"I think it might be since my coworkers are college nerds and don't know that whole... "work-safe" environment thing. I love them dearly, but..."

So that happens in all Uni tech depts., not just mine? I swear some days I don't know if I want to slap my coworkers or just pat them on the head and smile.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

Yours too!? It's usually a mix of both for me... Crazy kids.

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

many years ago, ex-housemate took a call for me as I was out. Call was from the organiser of a horror film fest - she was pretty much what you would expect from a horror film fest organiser (slightly goth, smart, well paid, wicked sense of humour).

Ex-housie's comment was that "she gave good phone"...

o.O

[dukesnorre.livejournal.com]

/me hopes this means it's techsupport sex story day

[caitriona27.livejournal.com]

Yep, I've been told I could be paid well for my voice, I've been asked out repeatedly and sometimes by the same guy (who finally was only able to talk to my boss after one harrassing phone call). And this is all from ones who haven't met me. On the odd occasion I get to go out and meet my customers..

It's not easy being a female techie..

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

What the hell? Since when is it appropriate to make sex hot line references with someone who is trying to help you?

Note to self: Grow penis.

...Then again, those futanari guys might come after me. Huh...

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

I've been proposed to a couple of times. One guy was a really old jewish guy from Beverly Hills too, lol.

I've also been called the Queen of All that is Good and Wonderful bt a man who practically burst into tears after a 2 hour-ish long call.

Comes with the territory of being female in a tech job.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

I suppose so. It's still a hell of a lot better than working in the computer store on campus. I actually have something to do, and CS nerds don't have conversations with me about how amazingly arousing the fact I can turn a computer on is.

Maybe they should have a blow up doll policy. Hit on me once, shame on me. Hit on me twice, shame the blow up doll.

Still...Queen of All that is Good and Wonderful is a nice title :D

[brothersterno.livejournal.com]

So, a few male techs have spoken with customers who sound hott. Like, husky voice, slow speech, nice laugh, just wonderful to talk to on the phone. sometimes you get a little crush, but I always remember a lesson I got to learn the easy way.

I was speaking with a lady who sounded wonderful, like some film noir stereotype, about their corporate website. They had profiles of the employees on the website, and in the course of talking (OK I was curious) I found her picture. Emphatically *not* hot. She was probably pouring it on because she found you got better service that way.

From that day on, I've always remembered in the back of my head that the woman who sounds so hott on the line can be not, and it's a lot easier to be professional. Also, I hate everyone who calls me.

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

That's so cute!

Though...I like about 80% of the people who call me, because they're happy even if they are too stupid to look at our documentation page which explains EVERYTHING. Ever.

The others...should have vegetables thrown at them so I can point and laugh.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

(Note to self: Put more pictures of Grandma on the website.)

[the-ninja-style.livejournal.com]

I get everything from, "Are you single?" to the extreme, "I love you!"
I guess not being able to see the person on the other end of the line give some kind of security.

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

I can recall only one instance of being hit on in this job, and it was a very masculine-female service tech somewhere in Florida who was a true riot to talk to, but sounded like she wouldn't let a weekend go by without a 24 pack of Beast and a carton or two of cigarettes if she could possibly help it. My weakness for masculine women aside, I had visions of hellraising a bit too intense for my blood (if only a bit!) and decided I would do best to treat her invitation to fly out there and visit as a friendly joke. :)

That being said, yeah, no matter how amazingly well your tech has come through for you, marriage is taking it too far, even dating is iffy. (Hanging out someplace drinking beer and shooting the shit is another matter entirely. :) And guys hitting on female techs is just slimy, IMHO, and I've heard customers do it here to my friends, even the married ones .. ew .. keeping it professional avoids those awkward moments that seem to cry out for a call to Smackdown Dispatch ..

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Besides ..

.. I would think people would find the idea of a support tech knowing exactly where they live and occasionally knowing their email account info and various other personal info just the slightest bit intimidating. I'm an ethical tech and I tend to respect privacy, but I know there are people who aren't as careful about it as I am .. and I know all too well what can be done with that info given sufficient provocation ..

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

I get invites to visit all the time, and have had a few marriage proposals... The ones that really creep me out are the ones that ask for my address to send me something....

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"c/o MyBoss, 3rd floor, corporate headquarters" ?

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed that anyone would have the gall to propose to someone who has just spent the last hour plumbing the depths of the caller's stupidity and/or ignorance.

"So, would you date me?"

"Sorry, I only date people who can fix their own computers."

[canray.livejournal.com]

Let's see, two heterosexual marriage proposals, one homosexual marriage proposal, one polyamourous marriage proposal, four requests that I give babies to them, and two demanded I come over so that I could be chained in the basement and used in a degrading manner while doing the occasional tech thing.

Ironically enough, the degrading manner ones seemed more interesting than what was currently happening to me in the Pod Farm. :-S

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

I'd so go for the basement one. Good way to pass the time :D

[canray.livejournal.com]

If it wasn't eight States and half a Province away, I might have. ;-P

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

!roll 1d20
karopanda rolled an 18!

...Yeah, distance is a bitch, though Canadia-land is nice. They have timmies there. <3

[canray.livejournal.com]

Yes, bow to the power that is cheap, but good, coffee!!!

"Now with Liquid Crack, in order to ensure you *ALWAYS* come back. And your first taste isn't even free! MUH-HA-HA-HA!!!"

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Visted there only once [between flights] STILL got hooked!
I wake up some nights just seriously jonesing for Timmies! [and that's not icing suger on the donuts either!]

[canray.livejournal.com]

And now you know Canada's secret plan to take over the world!!!

For the good of the world, of course. We have to take it over to save it from Starbucks. ;-P

[spiker-uk.livejournal.com]

Tim Hortons FTW!!!11! :-P

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Methinks the Chem prof has been partaking of his supplies again!

"

I'm sorry sir but I only date men who are able to fix their own computers and are within at least a decade of my age!

"

Hehe, or maybe "

I don't date creepy perverts who hit on teenage tech support staff!

"

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

Seriously to the last one. I mean, honestly, I wear fucking RIBBONS in my hair and pink fluffy dresses. What is he, a pedophile!?

That, and I have a nerd complex, and any guy who can't speak binary to me should roll over in the dirt and die. ...Or call up so I keep having a job, whichever.

[dan-arbro.livejournal.com]

thats gross

[pixelchik.livejournal.com]

ah yes, I feel your pain..I've gotten a couple of those.

flirt: "the guys around here wanna know what you look like."
me: "a girl."

...

flirt: "are you hot?"
me: "ask my husband."

I've even been invited to dinner, drinks, etc. Most times we're not in the same state or even country (thank God!) so I just tell them to have one for me. :)

[karopanda.livejournal.com]

Crazy kids these days... Honestly, I wouldn't think of someone who knows for a fact I'm a techno-moron as a great person to hit on...or ask any nerd how they look since we're all a little off in the head. :D