I know why, it's because I'm a woman!

[angelofastheny.livejournal.com]

Back story: I work for a medium sized university, doing very basic tech support. I help you change your password, I help you set up personal folders on the network, and I help you figure out Office programs.

For the first time since I've been here (for over a year and a half), I just had an asshat make me cry. He came in and my supervisor ducked! I was sitting here at the front desk, calming munching on my raisin bread and the second he walked in, my feelers went up. He asked to talk to someone about e-mails that he doesn't want coming to him (AKA spam) and some other questions. Now for the record, we're currently blocking about 80% of incoming mail and trying the best we can to stop spammers from getting in. Incoming mail people want is actually getting assigned higher spams scores and so the x-spam-score system isn't exactly as effective as one would want it to be, but it's all we've got. I sat back and my super's desk for 10 minutes while we struggled to print out the clearest document we've got on how to set up rules in Outlook for spam scores. It finally printed (for some reason my super was having trouble with printing PDFs from Adobe 8.0) and I carefully tiptoed back up front. I presented him with the documents, explaining that this is the best line of defense I can offer him, but he wasn't having it. His wife has e-mail here and she doesn't get all that crap. (Later we decided she only thinks that because she "blocks" e-mail addresses.) And ooh...the document had too much jargon in it. I asked him calmly to point out what he was having issues with. "Click the filter button," was his response. WTF? I then told him perhaps I could have him log in to the computer and we could set it up, with me walking him through it. Not good enough. He asked to speak to my supervisor. I ran to her desk and lost it. I was done with this guy. Apparently he has a reputation and my entire office/department hates him. But my super went up and told him the same things I said, only she's been able to stand up to him before. I cried. My super actually just went to talk to her head and he's going to talk to the dean of this guy's department to tell him to back off. Apparently he thinks women in general don't know what they're talking about and he'll only back down if you show him up. I'm timid and so I don't typically sound as strong as anyone else, even when I know what I'm talking about. I'm now self-medicating with Hershey's Vanilla Creme Kisses. It's only 10 o'clock. I'm here until 5.

Comments

[garpu.livejournal.com]

Aw man. Another university tech support person, here. I find it isn't the men who give me grief, but one woman in particular, who always likes to remind me of how stupid I am.

This site has helped me keep my sanity: Bastard Operator From Hell (http://members.iinet.com.au/~bofh/)

[dukesnorre.livejournal.com]

There's also the scary devil monastery (alt.sysadmin.recovery), and whisky. Though I suppose whisky recovery on campus might be frowned upon.

[shirenomad]

*eyes the warning at the top warily* What's the NSFW Quotient on this site?

[azurelunatic]

Ferocious British language. Plenty of violence, little to no sex.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Hang tough. My wife also does tech support (is better at it then me as well). Hate it when I hear stories like this. Are more people out there that will respect you for what you do than asshats like this example. Also recommend strong coffee with lots of milk, sugar, and chocolate syrup.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

I do hope you didn't cry in front of him. Blech (him).

As for that kind of bollocks, I've had that so many times I've lost count. One example, $LUSER rings up, has a problem with, surprise!, some mailbox rules. He was setting up client-side rules and then wondering why they didn't work when he moved to another machine (no roaming profiles). After my trying to explain that and suggest that he use server-side rules only for the important stuff of moving mail around, he utterly refused to look at what I was suggesting and asked to speak to someone who knew what "he" was talking about.

Ok, I fobbed the wanker off onto one of my male colleagues. $COLLEAGUE tries to talk him through modifying a rule to make it server-side only, but after about 15 minutes, $USER is giving him grief, so $COLLEAGUE says, "Look, if you don't believe that it's the easiest solution, I can pass you onto the Exchange admin, who can talk you through it."

Call comes back to ME. I loooooved taking it. $LUSER goes "Er, um, I just don't quite understand the difference..." and was as docile as a lamb for the remainder of the call (which took a total of 5 minutes to sort, once he stopped being a wanker).

[angelofastheny.livejournal.com]

No, I ran back behind the cubicles. I don't think he even heard me yelp though before I started crying. And I frankly don't think he cared either way.

[bekscilla.livejournal.com]

That's awesome :) I'm actually the specific go to person for my team - they transfer calls to me if i'm available instead of logging a job to tier 2. Since I've stopped taking calls and doing this instead, I don't get the "can i speak to someone about *insert basic issue here*" calls. No, I'm nooot a secretary, I'm the one with the most knowledge of this customer.

[aylinn.livejournal.com]

*hands over Large box of Godiva*

I share the pain. At least your supervisor & mgt are backing you up. I've had days & bosses who didn't.

[patgund.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathies. When I was still doing phone support, my somewhat high voice ment that:

a) I had asshats think I was a woman
b) Therefore I automatically didn't know what I was doing

*Grrr* People like that make me ashamed of my gender.

And M&Ms are good for self-medicating :-)

[amynnah.livejournal.com]

I haven't cried over anyone (yet) at my job, but I keep a stash of hot cocoa, green tea, Dove chocolates, peanut butter cups, and the like in my drawer.

I have a "sweet" voice, but even when telling someone "no," repeatedly, eventually they back down. I joke about crying on the phone at people to make them stop being asses... but from the sounds of this guy, he'd probably thump his chest, grunt, and say something stupid like, "This why wimmins don't belong in mans' work! Buh!"

At that point, pelt him with Hershey's and tell him to GTFO. ::hugs:: I really hope you have a better day. Happy Friday the 13th. ;_;

[greylady.livejournal.com]

I have a "sweet" voice too. It helps in some cases (people calm down for me really well when they're frustrated and upset), but sometimes the voice makes people think I don't know what I'm talking about. The worst of them usually settle down when the sarcasm starts creeping in.

Chocolate for self-medicating is the best response. Second is having a manager and coworkers who are willing and able to run interference.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I can't really pull off the "sweet" voice thing - my looks mitigate against me. :-)

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathies, having had the joy of being condemned for being female in a technical job which I obviously don't deserve (by virtue of having no penis). Each time I've dealt with this by getting hold of someone with an obviously non-soprano voice and putting them on the other end of the phone, so they can tell the feckwit precisely what I've just told him.

If you've access to a colour printer, you may want to print out this particular webcomic panel:

Queen of Wands (http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040324.html)

I used to have this sitting rather prominently on my cubicle wall.

I also second the recommendations for the BOFH stories, and the scary devil monastery - both of these have been very useful to me in retaining my sanity through over five years of tech support. Or at least ensuring that the bodies are very well hidden indeed...

[fuego.livejournal.com]

OMG! I love that one!!! (I've had more than a few people send it to me when I've had days like that.)

[bekscilla.livejournal.com]

I've got that Queen of Wands on the wall behind me, right now. Definitely a good strip.

I think it'd be better sometimes to put them onto the most non-soprano voiced person you can, and have them um and ah and then say "sorry, i just have to check with megpie71 how to do this" or possibly have them fix it and then have them say how great it was that you could show them how to fix it - that way it's not just a guy telling them how to do it, and it shows the user that you really did know (and their issue would've been fixed tons quicker if they'd let you do it).

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

I love love love love your icon!

And yes, BOFH is fab.

[azurelunatic]

Motherfucker.

There's so much advice out there about how to "toughen up" and stand up to angstwankers, but you know what? Being badgered by angstwankers shouldn't be part of your job description. It would be so nice to refuse service to him on the grounds of him being a stupid jerk.

[jecook]

I think that if anyone pulled that crap at my place the IT directer would have their nuts mounted on a wall in her office.

::hands over the booze and the shotgun::

[genjutsu-01.livejournal.com]

yeah I used to work for AOL tech support and i got people like that all the time, i didnt get angry at them instead i pitied them, because they need to do things like that to make themselves feel better and also for them not having a life as they have nothing better to do

hes probably just not been laid in years or ever, your young, good looking and he hates you for it

besides he probably needs to find something to do when hes not gratifying himself over pictures of animals. Dont let losers like that get to you.

chin up

[spiker-uk.livejournal.com]

Yup, I'm another university tech-support type too... we have one academic in particular who throws hissy-fits in this style once every while. Fortunately the Head of Department is very much on our side and has nailed this guy's balls to the wall when he has done it -- so much so that he has had to come and apologize to us personally.

Frankly, this guy you're talking about -- with his misogynistic tendencies that'd be a "Hello. We're the nice people from HR. How do you want your LARTing today?" level of offense here.

The official BOFH site is at: http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard_Indexes.html -- Simon rocks.

My LARTs-of-preference?

Digital: telnet to switch.... show fdb [luser mac address]... disable port [luser port]. (ooh, look, luser has no network. whaddapity.)

Physical: There is a steel desk support, lying next to my desk, with a dent in it. Not that I've ever *actually* used it, but it's good enough to scare students :-). In real terms... we are on very good terms with the lovely Campus Security guys... :-)

nsts

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

Longamany years ago, I had a customer abuse me to the point of tears over the phone. (Wasn't tech, but was customer service.) I was young and not confident enough to give my now-standard warning to be polite or I will hang up. Anyhow, once he finally hung up, I just put my head in my hands and tried to hide how shook up this guy made me. A few minutes later, switchboard gave me a sympathetic look and said, 'It's that guy again and he wants to talk to you.' There wasn't anyone else to take the call so I did. And what did I hear when I picked up the phone? A mumbled, 'My wife made me call back and say I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk to people like that.'

Re: nsts

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

yeah, that happened to me once before, on the night shift. long time ago.

yay for us!

Re: nsts

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

Being goofy-out-of-my-head on drugs at the moment, I find myself inspired to crank up Cake's cover of 'I Will Survive' now, heh. Now to dance around the room like a total nutjob -- feel free to join in!

Re: nsts

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

ooh! I've been looking for this, on mp3! care to share? then we can boogie together :D

Re: nsts

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

by the way ... I just now noticed. serious LJ username love, man.

Re: nsts

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

Check your LJ email -- should have something from a gmail account, has 'LJ' as part of the title and the .mp3 attached.

And thanks muchly re: the name. I am to amuse!

Re: nsts

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

dude, what drugs are you ON, man? :)

Re: nsts

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

Life, man! I'm high on life! *snerk*

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

In an ideal world every IT department would have a policy like this:

"Should you be responsible for abusing a representative of our department, they will promptly be sent to the nearest watering hole for an hour to have a beer or calming beverage of their choice. You will pay the tab. You will pay their wage for the hour.

"You will also have a big red rosette pinned to your desk which says 'I enjoy hurling abuse'. You will keep it there for a week.

"We may also, at our discretion, change your entry in the electronic telephone directory to something of our choosing.

"You have been warned."

In fact, you know what? It should be in the company handbook.