How the fsck ..

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

.. can a front line support tech write two pages of notes that don't say anything at all other than clearly indicate the tech had no clue whatsoever what he was doing or why and was just throwing random quick fixes at the problem?

And how can a call go through three of these mouth breathers before it gets to me, and how come I'm the first person to talk to the customer who has any idea of what the actual problem is? (It's been worse, I've seen instances of calls that even get up to my *tier* without anyone having a clue what's going on.)

To paraphrase something I overheard from the next row, "You can't just drag someone in off the street, hose them down, put a headset on them, and call them a support tech.."

Comments

[vadra.livejournal.com]

Apparently they can.... Things had devolved drastically since I started there 3 1/2 years ago, until I left in September. They started caring more about volume and quantity, rather than the quality. How many calls can a phone monkey take without doing and actual work or troubleshooting? stats stats stats!

[canray.livejournal.com]

Ah! But stats is what they're paid to do!

The company isn't being paid to help people on the phone. It's being paid to take phone calls. In volume and quantity. Quality is a distant second.

"High Quality Technical Support" nowadays means you're talking to someone whose first language is English, or is able to talk English well enough to fake that. Not that they're going to help you, or be intelligent in any way.

I'll put it this way, minimum requirements for the job is "High School". I know one guy that graduated from my High School that wrote a Book Report on an issue of "Rolling Stone" magazine, and got a "C" grade on it. :-S

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

We had an issue recently where a first-level tech put a technical ticket on delay whilst he researched something

He needed to know what a staple was...

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

A small piece of wire used to jam copier ADF's? Or was he talking about the larger variety found with a small piece of burnt corrugated cardboard next to the burnt power supply inside someone's machine?

I wish I could say I hadn't seen equally stupid/bizarre reasons for holding up or escalating a call .. but, sadly, I've seen plenty. (The totally unnecessary onsite repair to fix a problem I fixed in one minute by going in and making one preference change was the topper today .. sigh ..)

[sunnylioness.livejournal.com]

"You can't just drag someone in off the street, hose them down, put a headset on them, and call them a support tech.."

But you can sure as hell try!

Wait... you guys get them hosed down first? No fair...

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Policy here on hygiene is that it's generally a good thing, and policy on clothes is that we're required to wear them. Beyond that, there is considerable latitude. (I've been known to wear a l0pht T-shirt to an interview. One of the interviewers commented on my huevos for wearing that particular shirt to the interview for that particular position, but they did indeed hire me..)

It all just reminds me too much of something I read in Asimov's Foundation trilogy, about a certain character who hung around for about 5 days being a pompous nuisance, and when he had left, the recordings they had secretly made of everything he had said revealed that he had actually said nothing meaningful at all. I get that feeling sometimes when I read case notes or listen to some of the agents transferring calls up to me .. some people are very good at sounding like they're saying something when below the surface it's just gear-stripped gibberish. I like a little more substance in my conversation ..

Re: Oh yes you can. . .

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

Some of the sites don't even hose them down... (Shudder).

Re: Oh yes you can. . .

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

I've heard about Stream. From MANY different people here in TX. *shudder* My condolences if you still work there, I hear their PHB population is entirely too large for their own good.

Re: Oh yes you can. . .

[kayfox.livejournal.com]

A TB outbreak at Stream, say it isnt so?

http://www.beavertonvalleytimes.com/news/story.php?story_id=117616371757211500

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

Got a pulse? The company I work for will hire you.

[canray.livejournal.com]

One of my old jobs didn't even check for a pulse, just the ability to talk.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

I can hear it now.. Zombie tech support.

"Click on start, go down to all brains, mmm brains, err i mean all programs..."

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Hello, Bub here, How can I eat your brains?"

"WHAT?"

"Brains!"

"Is this tech support?"

"BRAINS!"

"I'm having a problem with the Microwave part of my computer, it just stays black."

"Brains brains brains..."

*Recever Away From Mouth* "HONEY! I think they outsourced to some weird country, like Canada or something! The Microwave Screen part of my computer is black, why is the Intern Nets busted?"

"OK, I know how to fix. First, you scream and whrite on the ground, then me and a group of my undead buddies comes to eat your guts and brains. I call dibs on the frontal lobes. Mmmmmmmmmmmm... Juicy!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Kay... I'm whrithing on the ground... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

[tth.livejournal.com]

SNIP
How the fsck can a front line support tech write two pages of notes that don't say anything at all.
SNIP

He is either a Lit or Poly Sic major.

K

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"By executive policy we are now getting budgeted according to the amount of text we produce, because they can measure that."

[tth.livejournal.com]

The executive policy is a waste of money. If your executives are Six Sigma trained they would know this.

I am not only an engineer, I have taken management classes (no choice) and budget per word does not work.

K

[canray.livejournal.com]

I have yet to see a budget that does work. :-S

[tth.livejournal.com]

You are correct almost all of the budgets I have seen or had to help build usually has issues due to the unknown or poor planning.

K

[canray.livejournal.com]

The Unknown is hard to quantify, but has to be planned for in rough. Wiggle room is needed.

Unfortunetly, that is "Expensive" in money that's held in "Just doing nothing". Forget that it costs a lot more than all the buffers combined.

Don't get me started on what they did to Truck Drivers and time. :-S