argh

[vorro.livejournal.com]

Dear lusers,

If you are calling in about help with a wireless connection on your laptop, is it really so much to ask to NOT turn off the laptop and put it in its bag before calling me? If the laptop is out, I can guide you through how to adjust the settings on your laptop. Don't assume that your "hard drive" (that is to say, your desktop) is going to be set up exactly like your laptop. They don't even look the same; therefore it shouldnt be too much to infer that they don't have the same hardware.

Furthermore, it would also be nice to tell me that you're following the directions on your desktop when I'm under the assumption you're talking about the laptop. Don't get frustrated and rude with me when you fail to notify me of those minor details.

Sincerely,

The guy who was bending over backwards trying to help you.

Comments

20 times a week:

[wibbble]

Me: Good afternoon, you're through to Company technical support. My name is John. I see from your notes that you're having problems connecting your Device to Our Computer Software. Do you have Our Computer Software open at the moment?

Luser: Uhh, no. I'm not at my computer.

Me: Okay, we're not really able to help you in any way if you're not at the computer. Why don't you call us back when you're actually able to use the computer? We're open from nine in the morning until nine at night.

Or:

Me: Good afternoon, you're through to Company technical support. My name is John. It looks like you're having problems connecting your Device to a wireless network?

[Insert starting to talk through the process of setting up a wi-fi connection.]

Luser: It's not showing the network on the list. Do I need to be at the network?

Me: Yes. If you're not actually within range of your wireless network then we can't set it up for you. You'll have to call us back when you're at your network.


They never seem to realise that if they don't actually have their stuff there we can't help them. Fuckwits.

[compsth.livejournal.com]

So you're enjoying the new position? LOL

[absurdwords.livejournal.com]

Especially when they're driving their car. How am I supposed to do anything about their problems like that? Telepathy? Good digital vibes?

[xforge.livejournal.com]

UGH!! Pet peeve. It is not a "hard drive" or a "CPU;" it is a "system case" or a "desktop computer." That's the quickest way to piss me off so much I'll choose to "get delayed" and have to "call you back later." As in, maybe tomorrow if I can help it.

[wibbble]

I've noticed that even the people in tech here use that broken terminology. Even the actual computer geeks. It's weird.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Sounds like the same as when peo[ple talk about the "clips" in their pistols. With Very, Very Few expections, they're MAGAZINES DAMMIT!

But, yeah...I enjoy finding subtle ways to tell people they're wonderfully, fantabulously, WRONG... Oh, you got a new hard drive? What was wrong with the existing drive in your computer? A new modem? Why. We don't use those in our desktops.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Ack, just this week I had a remote (l)user call her desktop machine "the modem." No baby, the modem is the thing that used to plug into the phone line; you might notice there IS nothing plugged into any phone line now.

::twitch::

[evilbill1782.livejournal.com]

In my case, the thing wrong with the existing drive would invariably be 'The capacity's too small' LOL ;)