Take my hand...

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

...as I lead you down the path of logic.

Luser: Yeah, I'm getting this pop-up from your software and it's really annoying. How do I get rid of it?
Me:  Ok. Which one of our products are you using?
Luser: I don't know.
Me: Did you purchase any of our products?
Luser: No.
Me:  Ok, so did you download a trial version, perhaps?
Luser: No.
Me: Well, what does the pop up say?
Luser: *reads it to me which tells me nothing*
Me:  Do you have any of our products installed?
Luser: No.
Me: So, then you can't be getting pop ups from our software if you don't have it installed.
Luser:  Well, then what did I just read to you?
Me:  I didn't say you weren't getting pop ups - I'm telling you that it can't be from any of our products if you're not using them.
Luser:  ...
Me:  If you not using any of our products, we cannot support you.
Luser:  *sarcastic* Well, this is just great. Thanks for all your help. *hangs up*

Comments

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

...

*calls Ford... "yeah hi, the check engine light on my honda keeps coming on, make it turn off please."

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

I've had the equivalent of that call, yeah. Bloke had the competition's product, had called them, didn't receive the help he wanted, so called us cause "well, the settings are all the same, aren't they?"

Best part is, we support GPS software for Europe, and the guy was calling from Syria. That couldn't wait until he was back in the country?

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

"Some other company is offering a rebate, how do I fill out the forms and send them to you?"

I've had about 3 of these calls today.

[cyrus7.livejournal.com]

While doing tech support for a large cable internet provider, I've had someone cuss me out for refusing to walk them through setting up their new HP printer. I offered them HP's tech support phone number so they wouldn't even have to go look for it. No, they wanted me to help them. Their logic? Their PC is connected to our internet service, so their printer must be our problem. *headdesk*

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

I get that every day. yeah, I work for one of those too.

I had somebody curse me out because his router wasn't working right. I told him when we started that we do not support routers, but we have a few steps that might get it to work again. (We reset it, then we bypass it and refer to manufacturer).

I had one start yelling at me because one of our techs 8 months ago cleared his cache and cookies. He kept screaming about how he couldn't log in to his Columbia House CD site. I asked him if he ever clicked the forgot password link, and he said "That doesn't f***ing matter. I didn't forget my password. Now fix it." I offered to remote in to the machine, but he decided that he just wanted to drop our service.

"Certainly sir. I will be transferring you to retentions. Thank you for calling XXX Tech Support. I hope I gave you some excellent service today, and please hold for your transfer." Hold ### transfer

[cyrus7.livejournal.com]

"I had somebody curse me out because his router wasn't working right. I told him when we started that we do not support routers, but we have a few steps that might get it to work again. (We reset it, then we bypass it and refer to manufacturer)."
OOOOMG I can relate. What you wrote is exactly the same as with the ISP I work for... we don't support the router, but we'll reboot it, then bypass it.

What is really frustrating is receiving a tier 2 call where tier 1 sent them to me to troubleshoot their connection problem. The modem and router are online (per plugging the modem MAC into our diagnostics program), the pc is pulling a 192 ip.... uhhh try rebooting everything??? Most times that will do it, but no, tier 1 will freak out, and send it up. I have actually had the customer tell me, when I ask if everything has been restarted yet, "No, they said since I have a '192ip' that I needed to talk to someone else." *sigh*

[canray.livejournal.com]

I worked "Tier 1.5", which was a specialist department, supporting the Cable ISPs Modem/Wireless Router combination units.

The number of *COLD* transfers I got, with no explanation to the customer was bad enough (My Supervisor, for the six months I was there, was unable to monitor a call that was handled properly!), but some of the things I had to deal with...

Some examples include:

"Oh, the 192 IP, that's the *My Department* IP address. I'll transfer you right now." We didn't even have a Router Unit of that make (Name of Modem is part of the primary diagnostics you always run), and he's using a no-name router.

"Oh... You are one of THOSE customers. Here's the right department." Um, ya. An *HOUR* of troubleshooting later, a simple Hard Boot on the unit got it done. Customer asked why I didn't start out with that, "Supposed to be done long before you get to me." "Stupid first guy."

And my personal favorite, "The Cable TV people couldn't figure out my problem, so they sent me to you. You guys apparently can do anything!" It was setting up a DVD Player! Which doesn't even incorporate the Cable system at all! I told her that, and that she should have to talk to the support of the DVD manufacturer, but that I knew how to do it through personal knowledge and that it isn't something we're trained for. Then walked her through it.

Apparently, it's a hard thing to do your own job. Although, some were "Legit", they were told by the company they worked for (Competetors to mine) to never even *THINK* about touching one of those accounts, and to transfer immediately.

But that's a Pointy-Haired Boss situation.