Tech Support in Bizarro World

[vorro.livejournal.com]

HI! Me am glad to assist!

Anyways, the ticket says:

Problem with printer. Printer is not printer. Error is to load paper. tray 2 is not closing.

Okay.

Problem with printer.

Yeah, that's easy enough to understand, but considerably vague.

Printer is not printer.

wait, P == !P ? That doesn't make any sense! The printer is not a printer? Is this some kind of Matrix-esque daoist ripoff?

"You must remind yourself that there is no printer" or what have you...

Error is to load paper.

I expect this kind of grammar from a fortune cookie or a motherboard instruction manual, not the helpdesk that is in the exact same city...

Oh, and the error is to NOT load the paper... load paper is the right thing to do!

Tray 2 is not closing.

Hmm... now just as the ticket is looking interesting - boom - it ends, leaving me wanting more. Why is it not closing? I'd love to know...


Update: forgot to mention the reason the printer wasn't working - it was so close to the wall that the paper try wouldn't close all the way... this wasn't tech support, this was spatial recognition...

Comments

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

A ticket in Engrish! How quaint! All are grittering, aren't they? :D

[drquuxum.livejournal.com]

Admittedly, my instructions for installing a TCP/IP printer in WinXP include "A network printer is not a network printer."

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's a haiku:

Problem with printer
Error is to load paper
Tray 2 will not close

[vortex.livejournal.com]

ROFL!

Brilliant!...

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

That's absolutely exquisite. :)

My opinion of the person who wrote it depends greatly on whether or not they *realized* it was a haiku when they wrote it. If it was an *accidental* haiku written by someone whose idea of a witty T-shirt is "S M L XL T-SHIT", that's an impressive coincidence. If it was an *intentional* haiku, that's another level of insane .. LOL

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

wait .. never mind .. the original isn't a haiku.

it's just a koan.

"whereupon the master struck the student, and the student became enlightened" ..

[vorro.livejournal.com]

This makes me very happy. I love it. Thank you.

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

beat me to it. Same thing I was thinking.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

likewise

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

gmta, then.

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Printer is not printer.

Is that kinda like "a door is not a jar"?

[mustangracer.livejournal.com]

That ticket reminds me of the stuff posted on the Chronicles Of George site. "printering" heehehehe. "havening" hehehehe.

www.chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/tickets1.htm

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

PC LOAD LETTER!!!!

[canray.livejournal.com]

After much research, I actually found out what this means:

PC = Paper Cartridge. The Magazine that holds the paper, soon to be fowled by TPS Reports and misfeeds that rip it.

Load = Loading.

Letter = A paper size.

In other words, "I'm hungry! FEED ME YOUR VERY SOUL!!!"

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

This is not obvious to a techie?

OK, the PC part I had wrong (I assumed it referred to the PC in some way) but LOAD LETTER is fairly straightforward if you're American, "Put letter paper in the tray". In the UK they go "PC LOAD A4".

I can understand why it mystifies end-users, though.

[kastinkerbell.livejournal.com]

Sadly...I actually understand "printer is not printer."
I've had a week of typing like that. oof. I had three e-mail responses this week that indicated that the recipient had no idea what I was talking about (and I'm a technical writer...a WRITER, I say!).

If only I could figure out the disconnect between my brain and my fingers...(step three...profit!)

[guitarguy1980.livejournal.com]

Wow, they let Bizarro put in a helpdesk ticket. Imagine that!

[jjjiii]

I've become adept at reading idiot speak. Here's the translation:

Problem with printer.

There's a problem with a printer somewhere.

Printer is not printer.

When is a printer not a printer? When it is broken! That must be the problem! A native speaker might have said "The printer is not printing."

Error is to load paper.

PC Load Letter, what the fuck does that mean?!

The magic LCD screen is telling you something.

tray 2 is not closing.

Additionally, there might be something wrong with tray 2 that's preventing it from being closed. Check for obstructions, or sometimes those little sensors can go bad.

[jon787.livejournal.com]

Printer is not a printer

BOFH excuse #117:

the printer thinks its a router.
%
BOFH excuse #118:

the router thinks its a printer.

[canray.livejournal.com]

"HERE ME AM TO SAVE THE DAY!"