Smack a 15 year old

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

You know I work for a cable internet company.


Call comes in, its a 15 year old kid calling about his internet being down. Legit call, his modem seems to be stuck. So I reset, both hard and soft, about 10 times, and it won't come out of a reboot loop.

In this case, we don't play games, we just get them a new modem. They get it by taking the old one down to our walkin center, and exchanging it. No charge, even if the original isn't ours.

BT- Bratty teenager
Me - Your humble, yet loveable, tech rep
(please note, the f word was used pretty much every other word.)

BT - Fucking fix it now! I have fucking things to fucking do on the fucking internet tonight.
Me - I'm sorry, but it seems to be malfunctioning, it will need to be replaced.
BT - Well, fucking get someone the fuck over here and fucking fix it.
Me - It's 9:45 on a Sunday night. I couldn't possibly get a tech out there.
Bt - Well, fucking pay them fucking overtime and get them the fuck out here and fucking fix it.
Me - The fastest way to get this issue resolved is to pick up a new modem in the morning at the walkin center.
Bt - Then you fucking come down here and fucking fix the fucking thing.
Me - I can't do that sir.
Bt - Why the fuck can't you fucking do it.
Me - Because I'm two states away, sir.
Bt - I fucking bet that (name of competitor) would fucking come out and fucking fix it.
Me - They would make you wait a week.
Bt - You fucking don't fucking care. I'm fucking going to cancel my fucking service.
Me - Please hold while I transfer you to Retentions.

(X-fer to retentions, and they're closed until 8 am Monday, I made it a cold transfer, because I knew they were closed.)

I called back about a half an hour later, and talked with the actual account holder, who was his mom. I explained the situation, and explained what he had said to me, telling her that every call coming in was recorded, and that I could send her a copy of the recording. I played some of it for her, and all I heard was "Michael, get your ass over here! Who the hell *SMACK* do you think you are *SMACK* saying this to someone who gets paid *SMACK* alot of money to make it so you can go talk to your god damned friends *SMACK* on MySpace! You apologise to this nice man *SMACK* right now!"

I got a very quiet apology, which I accepted, and the called ended a moment later.

The next call, I was called a GOD for fixing a simple MacMail problem. It was looking at the wrong outgoing SMTP port.

Things do work out for the best some times.

Comments

[trayce.livejournal.com]

I called back about a half an hour later, and talked with the actual account holder, who was his mom. I explained the situation, and explained what he had said to me, telling her that every call coming in was recorded, and that I could send her a copy of the recording.

Brilliant!

[sensrhps.livejournal.com]

heh.. i got a call like that the other day. except the teen got caught in mid fuck when his mom came home.

"who *SMACK* the hell do you *SMACK* you are *SMACKSMACK*!" etc etc

i put it on speaker phone for the rest of the office to hear.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I hope you recorded the followup, too - you can transfer the next brat to an endless loop recording of it.

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

Funny thing is I deal with these brats all day, and they're nothing but nice to me. Mostly because I'm on site. They don't have the balls to say that to your face. Had you actually gone over his house he probably would have pissed himself.

[forge.livejournal.com]

I wish I had access to my recordings.


More for the novelty of listening to the random gems that have no clue what a browser is and claim that I need to fix the internet

[forge.livejournal.com]

and at lest the parental unit put the schmuck in his place. I wish I had a "Realtor Respect Squad" I could dispath to beat the fear of god in to the true asshats heh

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

I don't, normally. I requested it from my superv. just so I could play it to his mother.

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

*pwnd*

:)

\m/

[jdotmi.livejournal.com]

That was a thing of beauty!

[jecook]

Icon Love. ::awards you 5 gold coins for the icon alone::

[jecook]

I'm not quite sure what work would have me do in this instance, as I've never encountered an asshat quite like this. I'd probably refuse them service and explain to boss why way of his cell phone. :)

As it is, I feel bad for telling them to fill out a work order if they want to have stuff done, even when it's easy crap like a password reset.

But then, I do have other things, like PMs and at least one major project to finish before the month is out.

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

Can't refuse service in any way, shape, or form, unfortunately.

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

you win the patience award. or something. I would have fired a warning shot across their bow -- like "sir, you'll need to remain professional for me to continue this call" -- and then I'd be makin' with the clicky.

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

I can't. I can't hang up in any way. I'd get canned if I did. And the company fined. Government regulation sucks.

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

you work for a cable internet company. Private industry, no? What government regulation says that you have to put up with that level of abuse from *anyone*? What regulation states that you can't require professionalism and at least a modicum of courtesy in a call?

Or put another way -- do they really pay you enough to put up with that kind of shit?

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

DUPC of the State of New Jersey. And I can't afford to get fired. I was out of work for quite some time, and can't go thru that again.

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

wow. I'm sorry you have to put up with that. I just hope it's all worth it in the long run. You have my support.

[phaedra-13.livejournal.com]

That was a fantastically wonderful move on your part with awesome results.

I am kind of in shock reading the above string with attackgypsy. The government (all aspects of it) is allowed to terminate any call they so choose after warning the caller that their behavior is unacceptable, so I am confused as to why some regulation would require you to put up with the uncooperative abuse. How does one provide customer service when the customer is screaming obscenities and not listening to a word you say?

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

Its called being considered a utility. We get find at the drop of a hat. As well as having to have a HUGE legal department because we get sued every day...

Our ASA is over 100 - 10k fine.
Outage more than 4 hours - 10k fine.
If we can't get a truck out there to fix TV service in 24 hours - 25k fine.

We get sued at the drop of a hat. And people sic the utilities commissions on us repeatedly. I have to write novels in my tickets because of this.