OMG I AM NOT IN SALES

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

You called tech support, not sales, dumbass! I will not compare our software to our competitors'. I won't quote prices. I refuse to answer "what if..." scenarios. If we do not provide a certain software solution you need, I cannot make recommendations. I will not list the product features. We have a website with all the info and more - fucking go there. Download the trial and see for yourself, asshat.

Comments

[toxico.livejournal.com]

Almost got fired once for the following retort:

Asshat: How can you not know how much that costs? Can't you just give me a ballpark?
Me: ...Wrigley Field.
Asshat: *click*

[5 minutes pass]

Supervisor: Can you come see me please?

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Visiting with The Tequila Fairy over lunch, were we?

//grins & giggles//

[jecook]

*dies laughing*

[toxico.livejournal.com]

Only reason I didn't get canned right then & there was that the customer was actually a nice guy and was doing the very same thing. He evidently hung up because he didn't want to lose his 'hardass' demeanor he worked so hard to establish leading up to that.

[warsawpact.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's awesome.

[tmesser.livejournal.com]

But don't you know? Everybody is in sales!

[jecook]

I got in trouble at one place I used to work at because the customer wanted *me* to quote them on increasing the amount of hard drive space on their server, and not their account exec, because they could never get a hold of their account exec.

needless to say, I got a nastigram in my email from the owner and the account exec got talked to, especially when the solution I proposed involved an external cage for the drives we sold them. Hey, it worked, the server was down for a minimum amount of time, and they about doubles the space on their server.

And in truth, I think the company ended up losing that client after they fired me, because I was about the only tech that they wanted on sight because I knew their shit as well as they did.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

My answer is always the same: One million bucks, cash, in advance. Because that's what it would take for me to throw my career out the window.

Another great option is to just keep repeating that the sales guys haven't given you that information. Eventually they'll ask to speak to a salesweasel.

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

When someone would keep after me about pricing after I'd referred them to sales, I'd tell them that if I started quoting figures, then next thing we knew the sales department would start trying to do support. Invariably the customer would quickly agree that this would definitely be A Bad Thing. :D