(no subject)

[the-anguisette.livejournal.com]

Note:  This woman's first language was English.  She was at least 30, and she did not sound like she suffered from any mental retardation.  I swear. 

Tech support for an ISP.

Me:  Thanking you for holding, you've reached ______ technical support, blah, blah, blah.
Moron:  What's my email address?
Me:   That'd be your screenname @ ______ .com.  
Moron:  My screenname at WHAT?  What's an AT?
Me:  Your screenname, the one you use to sign onto ______ with.  Then hold down SHIFT on your keyboard, and tap 2 once.
Moron:  Oh, okay.  Wait, s 2?
Me:  No.  The key in the bottom left that says the word SHIFT on it.
Moron:  So my screenname shift _____?
Me:  No.  Your screenname, hold down shift.  Press the number 2 once.  Then _______.com
Moron:   I think I did something wrong.  There's lots of little circles.
Me: Okay, lets try it again.  Your screennamee, hold down shift.  Press the number 2 once.  Then _______.com
Moron:  Okay, now what's a dot? 
Me:Ummm...a period?
Moron:  Where's that?
Me:  Near the question mark key, just to the left of it.  Bottom right hand side.
Moron:  What's a question mark?
Me: ....
Me: ... *ranting commences, on mute*
Me: Ummmmm...it's a question mark?
Moron:  Well, what does it look like?
Me:  *mutes phone, rants loudly*  It looks like an upside down fish hook, with a dot under it.

...............
This goes on.  For 25 minutes. 

Comments

[dukesnorre.livejournal.com]

"Customer must have [...] are required."

So that's how contract-legalese grammar is these days? You americans, you just keep on forking and forking the language. :-(
</facetious>

I'm kind of curious how someone can get as far as thirty without knowing how to read. I can't imagine how that could go over in Norway, at all, but apparently it's possible in America?

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

In theory, it ought to be impossible here, too. Elementary school is supposed to drill all that stuff into you, and most kids don't drop out until late middle school at the EARLIEST.

But there are bad schools that have a culture of "send the kids on to be someone else's problem," usually under the guise of helping them socially by keeping them with their peers. If you failed to learn to read in 1st grade, they send you on to 2nd grade anyway. And so it continues, all the way up. (In 8th grade, we all got a speech at the beginning of the year about how they WOULD hold us back if we didn't perform up to snuff. But at the end of the year, everyone was sent on to 9th.) Consequently, I've met high school students who, when asked to read aloud, have to sound out words a la "Sesame Street," and grown men who didn't know what a colon was. Makes me want to go find those permisive teachers and smack them.

[silveryrose.livejournal.com]

In all fairness, it's not always permissive teachers that are the problem. Sometimes it is the fault of the administration who order teachers to pass students on because they don't want to deal with them any longer.

Although I fully agree that all individuals involved in passing them on should be smacked :)

[adamjaskie.livejournal.com]

Also, it is a problem with certain laws. The administrators won't let teachers fail anyone because that means the school will lose funding due to the No Child Left Behind act. It doesn't really have to do with not looking bad, or not wanting to deal with the student anymore. You pass everyone, or you lose funding.

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

My son is ain middle school and my mother is a career middle school teacher; that is NOT how No Child Left Behind works.

There are standardized tests that students must pass to proceed past a given grade level. If any number of kids flunk, more funding is made available to hire Mom and other teachers as needed to tutor the kids that didn't pass the first time; they have two more chances to take the test.

If more than 10% of kids at a school district fail all three times, the district's rating is lowered. If it falls low enough, then they lose funding, and can be candidates for takeover or consolidation.

Giving the underachieveing students passing grades would just make the school look corrupt; "How is it you have 90% of the kids on the A honor roll, but only 80% of them are able to pass the minimum reading and math tests?"

[prozacnation.livejournal.com]

When I was student teaching 5th grade in a Suburban school, one boy in my class could barely read. He was being raised by his granmother and lived in a trailer park in the area. (not the ones you see on TV with Trash - these were trailers/homes). The school didn't want it to look bad for the child to be held back, so the principal let him pass to grade 6. Personally I would have held him back until he could grasp the fundamentals.

[dukesnorre.livejournal.com]

It's less funny that way. :-(

[phaedra-13.livejournal.com]

Holy f*ing sh*t. These people should not be allowed to touch anything more complicated than a toaster.

I can only hope this woman was on some kind of medication when she called...

[foobarintel.livejournal.com]

We give a lot of free computers out to low-income families for free online tutoring. It's kind of sad because most of the parents can't read or write that well - but we have to have them type certain things into the PC from time to time.

We just kind of get through it, let out a big sigh when we're done and move on with the next call. I get mad/upset with the calls - but at the same time - I have to remember these are people that haven't had the same life as myself and my friends/co-workers.

Grain of salt people.
Grain of salt.

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

damn... when they asked whaqt a question mark was that woulda been IT for me...

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

lol! oh gawd. I had a lady who couldn't spell her own name. I could hear someone in the background yelling out how to spell it. I'm dead serious.

Luser: My name is Catherine/Kathryn/Katherine/etc (you get the idea, so I ask her to spell her name)
Me: Could you spell that for me, please?
Luser: uh. ... um. *someone yells in the background* C!

Also, I was spelling out the url for our home page and when I got to "hyphen", the guy said "that's the one with two lines, right?"

[lilacwire.livejournal.com]

She was probably posing as someone else at the office.

[liakela.livejournal.com]

This is how I'd have liked to see that call end.

Customer: What's a question mark??!!
Me: People sometimes hide them on the shelves in their closet? It's small, metal.. fits in the hand nicely. Yes, there you go. Now.. do you keep your 'dots' separately or do you keep the question mark loaded? Yes, I figured you might. Ok.. hold the question mark to your head please.. and when I tell you, I want you to press the 'tilda' with your forefinger. It's the finger closest to your thumb. No--on the same hand as your thumb. Ok, got it? Now.. pull!