From the other side...

[adamjaskie.livejournal.com]

This was posted in an automotive forum I frequent. Sometimes, the problem is not a PEBKAC. I'm sure everyone has overheard one of their more clueless coworkers in a conversation like this:

So my cable interent was down today...
and after several restarts of my modem it still did not work. I have Adelphia's high speed internet for about 4 years now. This is like my 4th time it's gone down in those 4 years. Not to bad and I'm actually very happy with the service. However tonight was a nightmare talking to the help desk person.

First I called their hotline and I was on hold for about 15 minutes. I remember I had an Air Card with me and slapped it on the laptop and got online. There's a service through Adelphia to talk to helpdesk folks online. I logged in and I got this lady on the chat service. She asked me what my problem was and I told her, I had no connectivity through their cable modem. She then asked me how I was online and talking to her. I informed her I was using an Air Card.

What did she say next? Sorry we don't support air cards we only support Adelphia services. So I was like Ok.... so help me, my internet is down, again through my cable modem. The air card is being used so that it is possible to talk to you. She again informs me that they don't support air cards. So I let her know; "I understand this my cable internet is down, nothing to do with the air card." She tells me that she can see the modem and talk to it, so that it's a problem with my air card hardware. I start laughing at this and can't believe this shit.

I'm getting a little irritated at this, so I explain to her the following. "Ma'm, I called adelphia's help desk, but I was on hold for 20 minutes. I remembered you guys had an online service help desk. So I connected via an Air Card so that I can talk to you. You can then do your thing and get my cable service to work again. I've restarted my modem/router several times, but it still does not work. I bypassed my router and connected my "desktop" straight to the modem. So this laptop I'm using to talk to you is not connected to your network."

She then gives me a link to check my ip. I click the link and it tells me the IP I'm currently using. I paste it onto the chat log and she tells me that's an Adelphia IP. I bang my head on the laptop keyboard and tell her, NO it's not. I then go back to that link and copy and paste every piece of info on that website onto the chat log. Were it gives IP, Service Provider (which was Sprint) and other info. She then apologizes and say's yes that is a Sprint IP. So I cannot help you, we don't support services not related to Adelphia.

Finally I just tell her I'm gonna call and hold for what ever time to get my issues resolved. She tells me that the person on the phone will not be able to help me, because my problem is hardware problems with the air card. I tell her, that I'm not having a problem with my air card but their FUCKING SERVICE! I don't know what the fuck she was on, but I just ended the chat service and called. I was on hold for about another 20 minutes and finally got someone on the line. He was able to get my service back up and running in about 10 minutes. He needed to clear out my modem on their end so that it could renew the IP address. God I wish I could punch that lady in the face.

Comments

[gaymafiakingpin.livejournal.com]

That lady sounds so much like all of the techs that I used to work with at my last job. They had certain things they would support and certain things that they would not, and if someone calling in even dared to mention the name of one of those unsupported things, the tech's brain would shut off and they wouldn't help any longer.

I'm guessing that the first tech didn't really know what an Air Card was but was told by someone else that it's not supported so she never really listened to the customer enough to grasp that the Air Card was irrelevent to their call.

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

Two words: script monkey.

Script Monkeys are to TS what MySpace is to LJ.

[viciousbleu.livejournal.com]

Full of hormane bundles taking pictures of themselves in dirty mirrors?

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

the last they could do is clean the darn mirror first...

[viciousbleu.livejournal.com]

Broken hearts aren't clean. The mirrors reflect the pain and tears that have left these young children as the roadkill of life while in the background Death Cab for Cutie faintly plays...

[jecook]

Qwest toasted one of the two DSL modems that we had for our aged and decreped CAP line for the company I used to work for via a script reading monkey.

Words of wisdom: if they ask you to do a "write erase" via a telnet connection, tell them to blow themselves.

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

Hey, I like Death Cab For Cutie. :\

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Most of us probably work with one or two of those people... the ones who have no clue what the hell they're talking about, and from whom we overhear the worst comments occasionally, the sort which make us groan in pain and put our face in our hands.

For instance, last night I had a coworker ask me... one who's been here for OVER A YEAR... "Does somebody need to be on the internet to replicate their server mailbox to their local mailbox in Lotus Notes?"

Christ.

People like him and like the clueless twit in your anecdote are the ones who give the entire tech support industry a bad name.

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

I think my brain just vomited on itself...

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Therefore your taste is bad.

[network-nerd.livejournal.com]

I remember calling Earthlink TS to confirm whether they block smtp out directly to other servers than their own. All the first three techs could say was "Please send us a copy of the email that bounced". The fourth didn't know the answer, but at least understood the question.

[japester.livejournal.com]

did you get a name and username?
I smell a LART coming on.

[keithdok.livejournal.com]

I can always tell when I'm on the phone with a script monkey, and I will lie. For example, I know how to do every fix possible from my end related to my cable modem. If I can't fix it, Cox has to do or has done something on their end. So when their script monkeys start asking me things like "Are you using a firewall?", I will lie and say no. Because yes I am using it, but I know wtf I'm doing, and it's irrelevent to the conversation. Now reset whatever it is you reset on your end or tell your software to remember, again, that we pay an extra $6 for two separate IP address from one modem, script monkey.

And I'm right.